Today I made it to 90 days. I did not keep a counter on here, nor did I use this subreddit much as I progressed through my 90 day journey, but I made it to 90 days none the less. Now, I am not sure if what I am going to say has been said on here already, nor do I care. But If you want some solid advice and a different perspective on NoFap, then look no further. There will also be no TLDR, so if you’re lazy, don’t bother reading. All right here we go.
A little background
Right now I am 25. I first discovered NoFap when I was in college about 4-5 years ago. I made it to around 120 days before I relapsed. I had the “superpowers”, I was motivated and all that good stuff. Unfortunately I still relapsed and fell back into the hole of PMO. Relapse is a bitch.
Fast forward to September of 2017 and I found myself in Xiamen, China studying Chinese at a university here. I had stopped watching porn, but was still masturbating. I eventually dovetailed back into porn and was lost in the short-lived bliss of instant gratification through orgasm. I realized I needed to stop, and for good this time.
I took a long hard look at myself through introspection, and had the realization that If I wanted to continue having healthy relationships with anyone, whether platonic or sexual, my self-destructing sexual habits needed to change.
So I came back to my roots. I realized how NoFap made me feel in the past, and how it helped the relationships I had with myself and those around me. It was a very hard fought Journey, and I was up and down and relapsed a bunch of times before where I got to today, but the Journey has been great and I’ve learned so much about myself as an individual and sexual nature in general. I know its only 90 days, but I know for sure that that number will only keep rising. I have conquered my demons and put PMO behind me for good.
Now when does this post become controversial you ask? Well, right about now.
The Truth About Superpowers: What They Really Are…
When I first came to NoFap, I was stunned by the proclaimed “superpowers” one gets when quitting PMO; and through my first Journey, I experienced them myself. But I would be naive to still consider and call them “superpowers”. Through my second and current journey, I came to realize that these “superpowers” weren’t “powers” at all. But they were still powerful.
You see, when our minds are addicted to porn and masturbation, we are constantly robbing ourselves of, and releasing sexual energy. This is the kind of energy that gets us off of our asses to go search for a release for that energy. With PMO that release is very easy to get. Before porn, men obviously used masturbation to release this energy, but we more often sought out and found a real woman to help us release this energy; which is the natural way of doing it.
But, when a man couldn’t find a woman, we needed to channel that energy into something else. This is where your self-improvement comes into play. You channel that energy into learning an instrument, writing a blog post, or working out. Maybe you go for a run, maybe you paint a masterpiece, but the common theme here is that that energy needs to go somewhere, and the more productive a place it goes, the better.
This is why I think people call the effects of NoFap “superpowers”. All of that energy they had been releasing on a daily basis made them lethargic. Thus allowing their brain to release dopamine and giving them the illusion that they are doing something productive, which is the textbook negative-feedback loop of PMO. And now that they aren’t PMO’ing anymore, they experience the true productivity that they had been so robbed of before. It is another, but different dopamine rush that grants the person a feeling of completion, of success, and of true pleasure in the self.
So again, for my own sake, I changed how I thought about these “superpowers” and instead, thought of them as “inherent, natural abilities” that all men experience. In a nutshell, these abilities and desire to complete complex tasks and improve the self are all characteristics of positive masculinity. PMO hid you from you true masculine self; it made you less of a man.
That is why people report women noticing them more, people respecting them more… It’s because you are getting in touch with your innate masculine nature as a man, and women and other men like Masculine Men. That is also why NoFap and the benefits that come from it feel so good. It’s because we are men, and we are supposed to feel like men. Not like weak boys who will take every opportunity they can get to release their seed into space or onto a sock or a napkin. Now I realize that me dropping the “M” word might stir up some negative emotions, but please, continue reading this with an open mind.
Why Masculinity is Important and How PMO Takes It Away From You
Now when I use the word Masculinity, I don’t mean the Hollywood image most people would imagine. I don’t mean all of the Danny Trejo’s and leather jacket wearing, motorcycle riding bad-asses you see in the movies. What I mean is the drive of every man to complete productive tasks, contribute to society, and to find their purpose that brings happiness to themselves and the people they surround themselves with. That is what Masculinity is to me: the desire to forward yourself and others through society with your skill sets and positive state of mind; don’t forget though, an extremely self respecting state of mind.
What PMO does to the Masculine mind is that it steals our productive minds and forces them to focus just on sex and instant gratification and release. All of you who have gone on a long journey of NoFap know that true pleasure doesn’t come from short term satisfactory situations, but instead from goal setting and completing tasks that will provide long term gratification. When you PMO you feel satisfied, but we can only feel satisfied for so long. When we prolong that satisfaction, we become gratified, and that long term gratification can last a life time. And when we feel gratified, we radiate it to others, and people will naturally gravitate towards you.
This entire world was built on masculinity and masculine men. Wars were fought, empires were built, innovations were made, love was had, and the species survived.
But be careful. With your newly awakened masculinity, the desire to have sex will be strong. Sex is great, and everyone loves it, but don’t let it take over your mindset. Just like with porn, even a sane man can fall into the pitfalls of wanting sex all the time.
If I had any recommendation for you, it would be to focus on your goals, dreams, and ambitions, and let sex be a side dish to the already fantastic entree that is your life. If you want to get better with women, please go for it, but don’t let women be the focus of your life. There is a quote by someone that says “you will never go broke chasing riches, but you will go broke chasing bitches”. Enjoy your life, achieve your goals, and shoot for long term gratification.
A Side Note and Conclusion
I feel that my bringing up of masculinity might stir up some ideas of feminism and “toxic masculinity”. I want to say that I am in no way attacking feminism, or trying to support any sort of political agenda on either side of the spectrum by using the “M” word. The reason I bring it up is because my Journey with NoFap has made me aware of how important my masculinity is to me and my future as a productive male in society, regardless of what that society thinks or has to say about it.
NoFap wasn’t just a way to quit porn and masturbation, it was a door that I opened that led me on the path that ended at the end of the rainbow. And while I didn’t find a physical pot of gold, I found a metaphorical one. I found a pot of gold that allowed me to change my habits, control my urges, and most importantly define a new image for myself and how I interact with the world.
No, It wasn’t a pot of gold; it was a paradigm shift. And with that shift has come a new meaning for me to live my life, and a new set of standards for me to live it by. And although NoFap wasn’t the solution to all of my problems, it put me on the right path to help me get my life sorted out for the better. Thanks NoFap!
LINK – My Controversial 90 day Post