I’ve been addicted to pmo for around 11 years (I’m 25). I always felt this deep emptiness inside and thought I was destined for failure. I had no motivation to succeed in life and just wanted to get drunk, hang out with friends who didn’t care about me and sleep around. I’d made my peace with it and as a result had extremely low self esteem.
After suffering a really bad breakup 5 years ago I went off the deep end and spent 3 years doing copious amounts of drugs and having meaningless hookups on Tinder. To be honest, Tinder did wonders for my self esteem for a while. I don’t think I’d be in a position to have taken control of my life without that ego food, but after 3 years it started to make me feel so dead inside. I once hooked up with someone in the toilets of a club and immediately went home feeling incredibly depressed and swore to quit that aspect of my lifestyle, which I mostly succeeded in doing. I lived with extreme suicidal ideation for a long long time and after one particularly introspective acid trip, I realised that maybe PMOing 4+ times per day for as long as I had been may not be an ideal way to live my life. I’d never thought of it as a problem before.
After 2 years of trying and failing, I reached 60 days. And my god, I’d read so much about the benefits of Nofap but never truly believed it. For the first time in as long as I could remember I stopped living my life through this overly confident facade and embraced the fragility of who I really was. It was a dark few weeks to begin with, lots of repressed memories and facing demons I had been running from for years. But after dealing with them and learning who I truly was, the ‘superpowers’ were real as hell.
I work as a freelancer in an industry where reputation and personality is everything and the new me made more money and more friends than I ever have in my life. I felt truly happy for the first time since I was a child! I learned to embrace the hard realities of life, and I learned to enjoy them. My confidence sky-rocketed and slowly but surely the urges faded. It’s hard to really put into words what I was feeling, it was so freeing and I just loved life. My perpetually negative and perhaps toxic attitude was replaced by a sense of appreciation for everything and everyone.
I started running daily, networking as much as possible and saving up for a house. All thanks to the inspiration I got from this site and from you guys. I have no doubt I would not be in this position without you. For what it’s worth, thank you all so much.
Sadly I relapsed a few months ago after a heavy night of drinking (not going to make that mistake again, I’ve now quit alcohol too) and spent a few months binging on PMO. Even though my social anxiety and lack of motivation had returned, there was no longer the dark hole inside me. I now know that I am not depressed, I am just an addict.
I am now on 30 days, the benefits are returning and it’s just fucking insane. I feel like a mentalist telling my friends about what Nofap has done for me as just sounds crazy that something as simple as quitting porn can change your life. Instead of lying in bed watching Youtube and PMOing all day, I want to go out and socialise, work out and start building a company I recently started. I also read daily, books that will help me achieve my goals in life. Its hard to find the right words to express how Nofap has made me feel.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope you get some inspiration from it as you have inspired me. We’ll make it boys, never give up. Everything worth doing is hard. Thank you all so much for showing me that life can be worth living with a little bit of discipline and determination