Today marks 50 days of NoFap – no porn, no masturbating, no orgasms. I had tried abstaining a few times before this current streak but would only last a week or two before relapsing. I had no energy, no self esteem, zero confidence, crippling anxiety, and had been contemplating suicide. Well my friends, those days are no more.
My last relapse back in November was the last straw for me. I vowed to myself and to the Creator (My name for God) that I would overcome this addiction and work on becoming the greatest version of myself – become the person the Creator intended for me to be.
It has not been easy, but I have been doing well in not masturbating and not viewing porn. My porn habits were not very extreme but I would masturbate several times a day and developed premature ejaculation because of it. I had been fapping from 5 to 25 years old and have simply had enough of it.
I have deactivated all of my social media accounts as they are my main triggers. That is Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Tumblr. I deleted a bunch of apps from my phone including Tinder, Bumble, and even YouTube in order to limit my time spend browsing on my phone. I don’t watch TV and strongly dislike Hollywood movies so I feel like that has also been a major contributing factor to my current success. I feel like social media contributes to people having depression and anxiety because it causes people to compare themselves to others and feel inadequate. Social media, in my belief, is incredibly superficial and detrimental to our society. I have no plans to return to social media any time soon.
I believe keeping myself busy with school work, working out, going for walks, hanging out with my brothers (my closest friends, they are brothers to me), playing/writing music and hanging with my family have also helped in keeping my mind off of urges and things relative to my addiction. I don’t go to the clubs or drink all that much for that matter nor do drugs.
I stay grounded with my spiritual beliefs and through physical fitness. Reading self help books such as The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida and How to be a 3% Man by Corey Wayne Turner have transformed my life and my way of thinking and have helped immensely on my NoFap journey. I strongly recommend these two books to any of you – male or female.
Some of the benefits I have noted thus far are as follows:
- Better concentration/focus;
- Improved memory;
- Improved confidence and decrease in anxiety;
- Improved ability to handle stress;
- Healthy, glowing skin almost completely free of acne;
- Some increase in energy;
- Able to lift a little heavier and do more at the gym;
- Improved sleep quality (to some extent);
- Return of “morning wood” (more of a “side effect” for me);
- Glowing eyes;
- Women attraction – women have been noticing me like crazy!
I know some of you who are reading this may gravitate toward the benefits or ‘superpowers’ as it were. I want you to know that I have been falling short of some of those and here’s why:
- I still struggle with anxiety and have for years. It’s not something that just goes away after not fapping for a while – at least for me. I have been off the SSRI medications for almost two years and won’t be going back on them. I still have to deal with anxiety on my own. I plan on cutting down my caffeine intake, meditating, going for Network Spinal Analysis treatments (more on this in another thread to come) and getting out of my comfort zone. Until then, my skills with women and people in general have yet to improve to my liking but I have made some great progress since starting NoFap. I’ve noticed my anxiety comes and goes but has gotten much better compared to the last several years.
- I still have low energy for a variety of reasons. I have trouble sleeping at night because of noisy neighbors, nightmares, constant thirst, and neck/back/shoulder pain. I never really feel rested. I also have low iron but have not been officially diagnosed with Anemia. I have a few strategies I’ve been trying to put into place to resolve this issue.
- Until I get my back/shoulder/neck issues resolved with a chiropractor, I can’t lift too heavy at the gym so my gains have really been suffering. I am currently 190lbs (191cm tall) so I am quite thin but do have some muscle. I have been trying to bulk up for years but to no avail. Because of my back and shoulder problems I have developed muscle imbalances – left pec is larger than the right, right lat is larger than the left, and a few others. My grip is incredibly weak because of some pinched nerves in my neck. I have been trying to improve my grip but nothing has worked. My arms are quite thin and weak. My fitness journey has been long, exhausting, and incredibly frustrating. I often get very angry and upset that I can’t push through the barriers I have been facing lately and it almost makes me depressed. Some days it brings me to tears. But I know I will prevail – this is just character building (aside from muscle building).
- I have been taking a supplement called Testro-X (I highly recommend you check it out) and now know for sure that and NoFap will help with my health and fitness goals in terms of testosterone levels. I eat pretty healthy as well but gaining weight has been a struggle. I know I have to eat more. It’s just the sleep issue and back problems holding me back.
I have experienced the dreaded ‘flat line’ in recent weeks and almost felt as though I had become depressed again and that my anxiety had been getting a little worse. I had zero energy during final exam week and zero motivation. I did quite well on my final papers and exams but I know I could have done way better. Today I feel quite well emotionally so hopefully I’m past this bout of flat line. I blew a tire on my truck yesterday and had to put on a spare in -40 degree Celsius weather which took about 40 minutes. My new tire cost me $400 – I was only able to afford the one tire as a whole new set would have run me $1200 which I simply do not have. I tell this story because normally I would become very anxious and agitated from such a situation. It dawned on me yesterday that I was handling it quite well and even though I was a little upset I wasn’t that stressed or worried about the situation and was actually laughing about it with my coworkers that night. I feel NoFap has something to do with that
Lastly, regarding the women attraction, the women I come into contact with daily have been going nuts. All the waitresses who work at the bar where I work have been swooning over me. I’m told that I’m their ‘eye candy’ whenever I’m on shift. In fact, I heard one of them scream “Handcuff me!” from across the bar while I was doing my rounds. Female patrons have also been noticing me. I have always been an attractive fellow (according to my peers) but have never experienced this kind of attention from women. This happens every where I go – the mall, work, the gym, school. I’ve noticed when I go to a pub with my friends our waitresses can barely handle themselves when talking to me – they become very nervous and it seems they almost can’t believe a man can be as assertive or confident as I am. I know I mentioned before that I still struggle with that, but I am way better at it than I was a few years ago. There’s always room for improvement, right? Anyway, I’ve been practicing my flirting/bantering skills on waitresses and have been steadily improving. I asked out one waitress a few weeks ago but she had a boyfriend. I had been bantering with her and she seemed quite interested so I took a shot and asked her out. Even though she politely declined, she did say that I was very smooth and would keep me in mind if her and her boyfriend broke up. I felt on top of the world and it didn’t bother me in the slightest that I didn’t get her number. All I cared about was that I was improving. I try to practice “freedom from outcome”.
Thank you for reading my long post. I will post more come day 60, day 90, and beyond. I felt compelled to write today because I am pleased to have made it to 50 days. I had done NoFap before about 8 years ago – my longest streak was 5-6 months if I recall correctly. That was a result of crippling depression/anxiety from a traumatic event and also because I had become a born again Christian. I had no idea what NoFap was at the time – all that was in my mind was that fapping was a sin and I was terrified of hell fire. My beliefs have changed in recent years but I plan on surpassing my old streak this time. I feel more empowered now that I am educated on the subject and am not relying on a single belief system. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. I could write more on this subject but will save it for another time.
I should note that although I am abstaining from pornography and masturbation I will not be abstaining from sex with women. I have never really been a promiscuous character and really only have sex once in a blue moon. I plan on having sex with a woman I care about. I am single right now and not too worried about finding someone – my purpose is much more important to me right now. I know the right woman will come along soon. Until then, I’m going to continue working on becoming my best self. I still have yet to overcome PE. I’ll keep you guys posted.
Cheers, brothers and sisters!
LINK – My First 50 Days