Hey all, just wanted to share my experiences with noFap, and PMO in general. Decided to quit PMO. First I went a few days. Then a week. Then maybe 8 days. Then 10. Then 12. Lots of short streaks where I relapsed. Joined gym.
- Started MO’ing pre puberty, PMO once I hit 12-13. I remember someone had a free BangBros account password, at the time I felt I hit a grail but it actually was the devil in disguise.
- PMO’d constantly through adolescences, and my college years. Lots of failed potential. I became more socially awkward and anxious. I had horrible nerves with regards to girls. Rarely dated and never had a meaningful relationship in this time.
- Realized PMO was my issue at the top of 2017. As stupid as this sounds, Donald Trump winning was a big motivation. Everyone said, “he can’t do it!” yet, here he is, he did it! If he can buck the system and the notions of what he “can’t” do, why can’t I?
- Still PMO’d regularly, went to strip club for first time in March. Impossible to get seriously hard. Realized here I had a serious issue as everyone else clearly had more fun than me – to me it felt like I wasted money. (I don’t advocate going to strip club as being healthy behavior, but seeing tons of nude women and not feeling much of anything at all was a wake up call)
IMPORTANT despite relapsing, I could tell progress was being made, because the streaks got easier and easier. And when I relapsed, they became more and more natural…..first relapse was straight up PMO. Then maybe lighter PMO. Then MO with just some pics. Then MO with just some fantasizing. Then MO as a purely natural feeling, no fantasy no P, purely was just enjoying the “feeling” rather than fucking my mind up. And after every relapse, I never got waves of shame or anything. I chalked the progress up as progress and continued.
- Finally started getting some decent streaks, still faltered around the 3 week mark a handful of times. Again, I chalked the progress up as progress and didn’t beat myself up too much.
- During these shorter streaks, met a girl, friend of a friend, was told by friends she thought I was hot and I decided to pursue.
- on 8/8 I MO’d for the last time.
- Hung out with girl a few weeks later, it was electric, we kiss have a great date.
- Having someone find you desirable was a high in itself….I over played my hand a bit at the start and was full tilt on getting into a relationship. She needed to take it much slower. This, is main reason I wouldnt’ recommend dating on noFap entirely…..there were some intense periods of self doubt and self loathing and just general low self esteem that I was “fucking this relationship up” – that lowers your confidence and IMO takes away some of the benefits, because a lot of the benefits come from having a healthy confident mindset.
- Terrible flatline from the early/mid 20’s til about day 50. This also coincided with when things seemed to be slipping with the girl. Not sure if I was flatlining so hard that I was making mountains out of a molehill (my emotions were super volatile), or if the stress of things with the girl caused my flatline.
- I hit gym constantly, am in best shape of my life.
- I reach out to girl few weeks later (around Halloween) and grow a friendship while maintaining I am interested in dating. We see each other every few weeks, to once a week, to multiple times a week.
- Emotions even out. I feel in general much happier and more even keeled. More alert. Need much less sleep to feel as rested. Am socially electric, am able to converse and be sharp and talk on the fly, something I never could really do.
- Female attraction…..seems to grow on noFap. I didn’t date for years and never had anything substantial, yet here I am going on dates with an actual model. My friends girlfriends also seem…..more into me. Not that they would cheat on their boyfriends, but a marked change in how they act toward me. Friendlier in general. More talkative. Lots of hair twirls LOL. I used to be the guy who wouldnt’ say anything and my friends girlfriends wouldn’t even bother really conversing past any awkward small talk. Now, when we’re in a group of people, I am basically the first person everyone talks too, and I hold that conversation well.
- Anecdotally, I notice after I go out with couples, by end of night the chick seems to be really pissed at her dude. It’s happened with multiple couples. Almost as if, they don’t have the aura I have 😉 or the chicks feel my aura and are disappointed their dudes dont’ have it. I feel silly even adding this as a point, but it’s happened enough times that I feel it’s worth adding.
- I do believe you get an aura, but I believe it comes more from self confidence and feeling successful than any binary benefit of “semen retention”.
- Never had a wet dream my whole life, had a giant wet dream on day 127. Was worried it would fuck me up, but had prepared myself mentally to not stress about the WD too much and that the powers come from within, not binary semen retention. Consequentially, I felt a little less sharp the next day (noticeable but hardly), but in general I did not feel any shame and didn’t really feel like I lost my confidence or powers. I do think if I put more pressure on the idea of “semen retention is the main benefit” that I may have placebo’d myself into losing the “aura” – almost like a self fufilling prophecy. Since I didn’t put any stock in it, it barely affected me. But had I been stressed and putting lots of stock on it, I would feel like shit. I think this is why many people get waves of shame after relapses (something I also never really had)
- Bit of a flatline/funk the last month. The motivation is still there, but maybe I’ve gotten used to it and it’s simply become my new norm. I have to actively push myself to improve everyday, when before it just felt like I was naturally improving. I’ve definitely reverted to some older lazier behavior recently, no PMO but less gym, more drinking, bit more stagnant free time. Goal is to continue to fill up that free time with things that improve me as an individual.
- I am dating the girl from earlier 🙂 first real relationship I’d say. It’s going great. She’s been perfect with regards to my reboot, not that I told her, but she made it clear she needed time before intimacy. So I gave her time, cause i didn’t want to bust a nut either 🙂 I am excited that my next release will be with someone else and not my hand!
- I got a raise this year too. Was much more productive at work over my noFap months.
- Am in best shape of my life.
Overall, it’s easily the best decision I’ve ever made. You’ll get urges sometimes still, I just did last night, but they pass quickly and keep yourself busy, you’ll be fine 🙂 the urges get less and less as time goes on IMO.
I do get natural boners around women now, and have pretty decent morning wood. My voice is deeper, I have more facial hair, more body hair, my dick grew a little bit I think this is because my androgen receptors are now finally utilizing my T in the most efficient way possible. Fapping fucks your androgen receptors up. Also, the limbal rings or whatever around your eyes, mine are definitely darker.
I don’t do cold showers, I kind of meditate…..more like marinate in my own thoughts and self reflect.
I use weed almost daily, but not in excess.
I smoke cigarettes, the usage went up during my flatline, but usage is down overall.
I drink……more. But this is because I don’t have very much around me and the local watering holes are the thing to do during the week. I don’t drink in excess or get shitface wasted, just in general the days I consume alcohol in any capacity are higher now than they were, but I am also being more social and putting myself into the situations. Never been one to drink alone at home.
I exercise multiple times a week, although I was sick, holidays and little bit of laziness set me back the last few weeks and hadn’t been going as often as I wish. Going today though!
Used to game hardcore, haven’t really touched a game since my streak. Occasionally. Much rather would read or learn or go out then zombie infront of TV. I don’t believe there is a problem with gaming in moderation, just don’t use it as a dopamine outlet. Same with cigarettes, weed, alcohol, etc. Moderation is fine, just don’t replace your fapping habit with another bad habit.
My goal is to be PMO free, FOREVER. I feel I covered anything but if anyone has questions feel free to ask, hope this can provide some motivation and perspective for others who are looking to change their life around.
I’m 26, had PIED, do believe it’s mostly healed 🙂
LINK – 5 Month Progress Report