Benefits gained so far:
1. Better sleep quality
2. Emotionally stable
3. More energetic
4. Higher productivity in work
5. Higher level of concentration
6. Improved ability of learning
7. Enhanced appetite
8. Better muscles gain
9. More optimistic in doing everything
10. Improved relationship with friends and family
I’m an ordinary teen just like others who is currently stepping into my late 20’s. I started watching porn when I was 12-year-old and the first porn that I watched was BDSM porn from the famous kink.com. My penis got hard whenever I saw the girl in the shoot got suspended upside down and a dildo immersed into her pussy while uncountable clothespins were attached on her body. I got high when I saw the girl got tied up in some bizarre ways and teased by the dom. Some people might think I’m abnormal but that’s what I enjoyed the most as I’m naturally a submissive person. My first masturbation was when I rubbed my penis against my bed and felt a sensation of something flowing out of my penis after 15-20 minutes but to be honest I did not know it was sperm as I thought it was just my urine. The feeling was great and I tried a few more times for the following days when my parents were not at home until I got addicted to this kind of sensation.
Since then, I was addicted to porn and masturbation as both of these are definitely correlated. I would spend long hours on porn, mostly on BDSM websites and fapped 2 times averagely per day. I remember the highest record of mine was fapping five times a day when my urges and desires hit the highest level. To cut it short, I was into porn for almost 24/7 and somehow it started to affect my life. I could hardly perform well in academics and professional workplace, my self-esteem is low and unable to control my life. I wanted to quit porn and completely change my life, well at least partially, but I did not know where to start. I tried stop watching porn and masturbate but I could only lasted for one whole day and eventually beaten by my strong urge.
Thank God, I am grateful that I ran into this NoFap platform last year where I was able to know many people from around the world who got the same exact problem like I do but their life has changed dramatically since then because of NoFap. I read the forum and learnt from others who had successfully transformed themselves into a better mankind without porn. I was very impressed and decided to give myself a try to quit PMO so that I can change my life as I wished.
Overall, I have been in this NoFap journey for already 5 times. I started off with my first attempt to quit PMO by setting a goal for myself, which is just merely a 10-day. I did not set a very high expectation for myself for the first attempt as I know a habit that has been built for over 15 years is definitely not easy to be eliminated just like that, it will require a lot of patience and persistency. As a result, I lasted for only 9 days which was 1 day short of my initial goal but I felt quite satisfied already as I see this as a very important breakthrough in my life.
I readjusted myself after the relapse and got myself up again for the 2nd attempt for NoFap. For this round, I set 20 days for myself but I only lasted for 14 days which was equivalent to 2 weeks, a slightly improvement of 5 days compared to my previous attempt. Although I was 6 days off my 20-day goal, I regarded this attempt as a convincing journey as gradually I could see some of my improvement already like higher level of concentration and better sleep quality.
I did not just stop right there even though I felt my journeys were convincing. In fact, both of the attempts did not actually hit the target at all. Well, of course, I did PMO after I relapsed for my first & second attempt but the frequency had significantly lowered. Therefore, with all the motivation and advises I gained from the forum, I kickstarted my 3rd attempt of NoFap and this time I set a 20-day goal for myself as well. I was able to hit 20 days and then I added another 20 days on top of that, as a result I was able to hit that again to reach 40 days! Of course, I did not stop right there and added another 20 days subsequently, but regretfully I only lasted for another 7 days and relapsed on 47 days. I was very satisfied with what I had achieved for my 3rd attempt as I did not expect myself to go all the way to 47 days without PMO. Needless to mention that the first 20 days were tough like hell, I was suffering and kept craving for porn but luckily I was strong enough to resist all of them. After I passed the 20 days benchmark, the journey got slightly easier and I certainly felt that I had improved a lot in my work productivity as well as my health. I was more energetic than ever and my appetite was so good. However, shit did happened as I accidentally clicked into a porn link sent by my friend and fapped by watching the clip. I could feel my cumshot was so strong that it felt like a volcano eruption as the orgasm was by far the best orgasm I had.
To be honest, I felt quite regretful that I was not able to hold on any longer since I had already reached as far as 47 days. However, I chose to look at the positive sides of it and felt quite proud of myself because I slowly understand the benefits of NoFap in many aspects. How did I survive these 47 days? Basically I did what I like, such as working out, reading books, watching movies and etc to keep me occupied outside of my working hours. To cut it short, 47 days was hell of a great achievement for me!
After relapsing on the 47th days, I was back to PMO for a few rounds but it was not as frequent as before and this drove me to my 4th attempt. With the experiences I had, I was very confident this round that I did not set any target as I strongly thought that I would be able to go beyond 47 days and go all the way to at least 60 days. I applied the same methods like what I did and it all went well as I successfully completed 30 days without any drama. I was excited but shit occurred on my 32nd day as I was easily beaten by my sudden urge to watch porn and hence, relapse. I looked at my cum and felt so painful. I was so angry with myself and put all the blame on myself for this relapse. I felt hopeless and sad because I did so much worse than what I could do. I only saw darkness, not a glimpse of hope at all. I hated myself and I returned to default by watching porn and masturbating more vigorously. Since my relapse on Day 32, I masturbated at least twice per day and spent most of my time watching all kind of porn again that I even watched gay and transexual porn as regular porn was not able to satisfy myself anymore. I quitted NoFap and stopped reading the forum anymore since then.
The extremely horrendous run lasted for about 2 months and out of a sudden I came across NoFap again when one of my friends talked about it. It makes me think about my life again. I was triggered and the motivation to stop PMO came back to me again. I started to recall how well I did previously and eventually I decided to get my ass back on the NoFap journey. I know I have been doing extremely badly in my life and I wanted to have a change in my life, which catalyzed me to the 5th attempt of NoFap that lasted until now!
Before I kickstarted this 5th attempt, I promised myself that I will definitely break the 47 days streak and go as far as I can without getting affected by any shit around me. Today, I’m at my Day 34 that I have surpassed my 4th attempt which ended at 32 days and I’m only 13 days away from my 47-day best streak which I created in my 3rd attempt. I feel good right now as I’m healthier and stronger, both physically and mentally. My interpersonal relationship with others improves and I get to make some new friends along this journey. I started to get myself attached again to NoFap forum so that I can get some motivations from here and at the same time, I started to share out my experiences with those who are struggling. I don’t see any sign of stopping right now as my goals are extremely clear now. I give myself no excuse at ALL to relapse. I’m being extremely harsh and strict to myself this round that I actually limit myself from using smartphone so that I do not stand a potential chance to look at porn. I slap myself very hard when the urges come and keep telling myself that those are just illusions. With all the efforts I put in, I really hope that I could go all the way to at least 60 days which I am very confident in achieving this! Of course, quitting masturbating to porn permanently is my ultimate goal.
To recap my NoFap journey so far:
1st journey: 9 days
2nd journey: 14 days
3rd journey: 47 days (Best streak)
4th journey: 32 days (Third best streak)
5th journey: currently at 34 days and still counting (Second best streak at the moment)
Keypoints to succeed:
NEVER GIVE UP! It’s not scary that you relapse just after a day, what matters the most is that you get up again from where you failed and start all over again with NO FEAR!
Thanks for reading, everyone! Enjoy your NoFap journey just like I do!