A little bit about me- 26yo male. Started pmo at age 13- once a day on an average. English is not my first language so I apologise in advance for any mistakes. Always been in great physical shape, was awarded the best athlete in high school and first two years of college, had my first gf at 19 who was 9/10.
Never thought I would have a problem but was a little nervous when it was time to do the deed. Everything was fine when we were making out but when time came for actual penetration, I went limp. Tried again for a few times but the same thing happened. She was really good looking and we had a great mental connection but because of my problem I got really insecure and broke up with her.
Tried again for the next few years with different girls but all that ended up with the same story. I got more and more depressed and started ignoring girls in general. People didn’t believe that I didn’t have a gf but I used to make excuses every time. My porn habits were escalating at this point as I was unaware of the damage it was causing me and according to the internet masturbation was supposed to be ‘healthy’. I thought something was wrong with me physically so got all the blood work done. Everything came out perfect, even my T levels were on the upper limit so low T was not the problem. Tried ED drugs for a couple of times but ended in a failure.
I developed a very serious anxiety after that and couldn’t see any girl in the eye. Then one blessed day on the internet I came across nofap and my life changed. I related to every symptoms people said they were having and started on my nofap journey. I tried nofap on and off for a year but had crippling anxiety at the time so was not able to talk to girls. A couple of girls from my class asked me out but I was so scared that if something like that happened again they’ll tell someone in the class and that would be the end of it. So I just made up an excuse to not meet them and that ended with them hating me.
I was a regular user of tinder and used to talk to a lot of matches but was always scared to ask them out because I knew in the back of my head that I won’t be able to perform. Last month, I started talking to a girl on tinder who was really into me and wanted to meet so we set up a date. We went out and had a few beers, I never thought that I’ll get laid on the first date but she was really into it, took her home and as we were making out I had 0 sensation down there. I was 40 days into nofap by this time. I made an excuse and told her that I was too drunk but I think both of us knew that was not true, she tried everything but it just didn’t happen. Things got really awkward between us after that for a week but she wanted to see me again.
Went to the doctor a day before I was supposed to meet her and told her that I have performance anxiety, she prescribed me some ED drugs, I was really desperate at this time as I was 26yo and still practically a virgin, took two doses of the ED drugs a couple of hours ago she came over and same thing happened again. By this time I got really depressed as we were laying next to each other and I told her everything about nofap and about the anxiety that I have.
Next morning when we woke up and started making out BOOM she told me you are really hard and we should try it. Had no problem performing after that and it has been better every time we do it.
Actually sex really helps with rewiring of the brain imo because now I want it all the time and can talk to girls comfortably and am not anxious in general. The thing that helped me the most imo was talking to the girl and explaining her what’s wrong.
I don’t think drugs were much help because it didn’t work the first day and I haven’t taken it for the past month. I won’t say that I’m 100% cured. Will never see porn or masturbate in my life. Trust me people sex is one of the best feelings in the world and makes you feel euphoric and a beast of a man.
I would recommend everyone to find a partner who is willing to understand and stick around without judging you. Taking ED drugs might not help every time because the problem is in the head. Main thing is to never lose hope, I had zero feelings and motivation down there and I never thought I will be writing this today. Just like porn wired the brain in a wrong direction. I think a partner is required to rewire the brain or at least make the process a bit faster.
To anyone who even has a little doubt I would say that nofap is 100% legit. It saved my life, I thought I was the worst case because I was 26 and still a virgin so if I can do it anyone can do it. Hope this post helps someone.
Good luck on your journeys.