I’m 27. I’ve been trying nofap since I was 20. Never made it past 25 days and even that was an ALMIGHTY struggle. I have failed in every single way possible. I have failed in spectacular, often depressing, manners. And I believe I have it cracked. I have hit 30 days and I’ve now, somehow, miraculously hit a point where I don’t think about nofap anymore, I don’t even see it as an obstacle. This is what I’ve done differently this time and I implore you, if you’re serious about this, I implore to take some of these steps. I’ve put them in order of importance (imho)
- Install K9 web blocker. super easy to set up, block all your “favourite” porn sites, keywords. I’ve even added YouTube to this because as much as I love YouTube….. them thumbnails are not your friend!!!!
- Install an app on your phone (I use “AppBlock” on android”) which will prevent you launching some apps i.e. YouTube (and reddit, in my case!!). You can set timers, so you can only browse the web for 1 hour, etc. Aimlessly browsing the web almost always led to my slip ups…
- I got rid of my instagram. It is my personal hell. Everything is too risky there. I got rid of FB last year- that was a big time waster for me.
PREPARE YOURSELF FOR EMPTY SPACE IN YOUR DAY.
- Exercise. I don’t care if “you’re not a gym person” go outside, walk. Even if you walk slowly, even if it’s cold. Get your coat on and walk even for a little while. I personally have taken up Muay Thai. Kick some fkn pads. Punch some mitts.
- Get books. I never used to read. I’ve read 7 books in 30 days. Its mental. I cannot express to you how good this makes me feel.
- Find something to fill your youtube/netflix void. I personally watch lectures about machine learning on udemy! I’d recommend trying to learn the basics of a new language? Or learn PYTHON if you’re curious about programming! I’m happy to elaborate on this point as I’m a Dev IRL 🙂
- I personally took up meditation. I never thought I’d be that guy. But instead of staring at my phone and looking for girls to text or blindly swiping on tinder… I put on the “headspace” app and I meditate for 20 mins. It is HUGE to focus the mind and basically kill off the usual urges that precede bedtime…
THE BENEFITS I HAVE SEEN:
- I sleep more. I sleep better.
- The guilt is lifting. My mindfog is 50% gone but not fully.
- I genuinely feel like I want to speak to people. oddly, i feel more connected with people. This is super weird for me but I really enjoy it. Normally I’m aloof, distant. Not so much anymore
the above point is illustrated by my post here. I’m normally a lurker. But I weirdly feel compelled to help or take part in this community(!)
YOU MUST REMEMBER:
Guys you are not fixing your penis. Nofap is NOT about fixing your limp dick. Your limp dick or whatever else you may have is a symptom. A symptom of a broken reward pathway. it is your BRAIN your are fixing. remember this. I have said this to myself every single fkn day. EVERY DAY. RECITE THIS TO YOURSELF GUYS. “I am not fixing my dick, I am fixing my brain”.
Your mesolimbic pathway is broken. I have been dull, lifeless, not enjoying what other people seem to love for so long. Life’s always been so bland. 30 days right have passed. I’m not fixed, but there is merit to this. You know how i know? because today I found myself singing along to a song. I did a little dance to an arctic monkeys song. and that, my dudes, is revelatory for me. Music was always my escape. Today it is my best fucking friend.
I love you guys, you’ve all inspired me over the years. I am going all in on this. This does work. The science is solid. Unsure of superpowers, but I guess I’ll find out in due time.