It’s a miracle come true. It’s a dream that’s been accomplished. It gives hope to other things in life. It gives us a new way of thinking to solve our problems.
Gentlemen I don’t usually write online forums at all. However when I passed through this phase of change, and realised that it is possible to manifest your dreams, then it is worth putting some time into writing one of the longest forums on this website. I do this from my heart and I want to inspire men of all ages to go through this change. It is worth it. It is extremely worth it. This will be a long thread, but it will only be written once at this date and time of my life. We all have a certain inspirational story to share with the world, and for me this is one of them. I would appreciate it if you read it and not be frustrated because it is long; I will really try to open your mindset to change, but I just need you to understand my story first. I hope you enjoy it.
I am 27 years old now, and I work in the aviation industry. I have a lot of goals for my life. Just like you, I have a lot of aspirations that I want to accomplish. Yet we wake up everyday and feel drained, lazy, crawling to the bathroom JUST to get our day started. Then as we go through the day, we generally feel lethargic. There’s some brain fog, social anxiety, overthinking and so on. At the end of the day, we feel happy though. Why? Because we turn on our pc and fire up our vpn. The tissue box and lube are next to us, the website opens, and now we are fascinated by the countless images/videos that appear instantly on the homepage of the site. Our endorphins are happy. Our libido are erect. We’re excited. We choose a video that seems to suit our fantasy. Now we’re SO excited as we’re watching, skipping through the video, and our libido feeling great. We want to ejaculate at the BEST part that we can. We want to feel 100% satisfaction. We want to ejaculate at exactly the right second and picture. The ejaculation feels really great. “Wow that was amazing” you think to yourself. As soon as you grab the wet tissue and stand up, you feel the guilt. You feel the shame. You feel drained. You feel how tired you are. F*** this shit. Was it even worth it? I’m hopeless. As you continue the rest of the day, you just feel regretful. Then you decide to yourself “You know what, tomorrow i’m gonna stop this”. Very well. The next day comes, with the same feelings of lethargy and all that we described earlier. Then once you get back home guess what happens? You’re horny again. You feel that today you just need to do it again. You feel that you need it. You tell yourself that all the other bad feelings you get(tired and brain fog and social anxiety) are NOT the result of this habit. You falsely convince yourself it’s fine. You can stop tomorrow, but not today. Today you feel you deserve it. Your endorphins are so excited to see that homepage. God damn let’s turn on the vpn, I want this.
We have been introduced to a cycle of psychological and hormonal corruption due to the P industry. I would say it is our fault and not our fault at the same time. It is our fault because we are the ones who discovered it and chose to explore it long time ago, and still choose to open those websites everyday. At the same time, it is not our fault that we got addicted because the whole concept of P and the stimulating effects it has/had on our brains when we were young are f***ing satisfying, and demonically powerful. That’s how it is designed to be. You are a slave to them. You were captivated since day one. It is like a drug, and you’re hooked since the very beginning.
I personally discovered this industry at the age of 12 (15 years ago) and oh my. The countless hours I would spend alone. The shame and guilt that grew inside of me. The social anxiety. The sabotaged self-esteem and confidence. The embarrassment I had when sitting with people and thinking I have this disgusting habit at home. F***. Anyway i’ll just go back home and re-do the same thing again. It makes me feel good. We are hooked my friend. We have to acknowledge it that we are addicts to this devastating cycle. Imagine going like this for 15 years. Imagine the guys who are going through this for 30+ years. Imagine the husband who doesn’t feel the love for his wife anymore and instead chooses ‘busty milfs’ to satisfy him. Imagine. Wow. It is scary. Believe me it is. You guys know yourselves how it is. Every single one of you reading this has his own unique shame and guilt. You know how to privately do your thing; how to maneuver your way to your bedroom and do it. Fast forward 10 years later, nothing has changed except the improved HD which is introduced on these websites and your addictions to it. You’re screwed for a long time ahead. So what is it that I did, and most of the other winners on this website did which got us to defeat this bad habit? Go on reading, and i’ll explain at the right time.
I’d like to share some of my personal negative feelings that I experienced through these years, and at the end of the thread i’ll share what I feel nowadays so you can see the difference to how this bad habit affects us.
Generally speaking the top feelings I had about myself were feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. I felt something was wrong in me as a person, as a human. I was not enough. I was not complete. I was a bad person. I had social anxiety most of my life. I had a fear of talking to girls. Notice how exaggerated those negative feelings seem like. But believe me, I believed in them powerfully. They were strong beliefs. They were confirmed thoughts, emotions, and it kept going more and more and again and again. I hated myself. I had minor suicidal thoughts when I was about 15. I would cry alone. I was thirsty for social approval. I was embarrassed for being me. Why am I in this body? Why are other men more good looking than me? Why are other men smarter? Taller? More social? It was a thought cycle that went on for 15 years for f***’s sake. I genuinely thought that something was awfully wrong in me. I hated it. I didn’t know what to do. I was lost. And I was scared. I was afraid of being like this my whole life. I was afraid that if I got married (which I thought as the ultimate solution to solving life’s problems) that everything will sort itself out. (I’m still not married and thank god I helped myself before I will be, so that I don’t ruin another person’s life with my previous lifestyle). I was afraid guys. It isn’t easy to sleep and wake up everyday with this ‘giving up’ mentality.
Being frustrated for a long time, I decided to search online. The random forums that I would read would include statements such as those:
“It’s alright to M. It is healthy”
“You can do it once a day, you pipes needs to be cleaned”
“It’s a natural gift from god, you have to use it”
“Do what you feel like doing, it is your body”
Guess what this has done to me? It kept me going for at least another 5 years. Imagine that. PMO. The problem with these forums is that they don’t address the main issue which is P then M then O. They only talk about the concept of M. M by itself isn’t harmful, it is the M followed by P which is bad. P is the culprit. So imagine going for many years now, feeling that what i’m doing isn’t wrong. Cool. But the feelings of inferiority remained, and they grew more, and more. I am also growing up year by year, and I notice that this is f***ing ridiculous. So I go to the internet again and this is when I discover nofap.
So almost the whole world has this problem. This is some relief. That night then I decided that from the next day I would try the 3-month nofap challenge. Sure, it won’t be easy but why not give it a try. I was excited the next morning that I was finally attempting to make a change for myself. I lasted 3 days, only to come back to my favourite website and BOOM, I had an amazing O. I couldn’t stay more than 3 days. Do you know why? Not only because I got strong urges to M, but because I wasn’t sure that this new picture is a part of me. What I mean is that for the past 15 years i’ve been looking at a pc screen and rubbing myself, DAILY. Now to stay away from the pc and feel those urges come very hard at me, and not do anything about it? I wasn’t used to that. I wasn’t used to controlling myself. In other words, I was not used to self-control. I was only used to one thing; fap, or PMO. If i’m feeling sad or down, PMO. If i’m feeling lonely, PMO. If i’m actually feeling happy, PMO. If i’m feeling bored, PMO. Pmo, pro, pmo, pmo, pmo, pmo, pmo all the way.
After those 3 days I waited a few weeks till I decided to try again. This time I lasted one week. Some improvement I guess, but then I would run back to my websites. Not only that, I feel I have to ‘compensate’ for the lack of M’s that I missed out on that week, so I would actually increase the amount of M’s to 4 or 5 times a day. This is how fucked up porn is to the human psyche gentlemen. Excuse my language.
The next attempt I stayed 17 days clean, which felt really great. I blew it due to a really hot picture of a girl who appeared ACCIDENTALLY on google images. Boom, I let it out. Compensated again by going hardcore videos. What a shame. Few years later (yes that’s how long it took me to consider it again) I decided to go for 3 months clean. No excuses. Guess what? It worked. I stayed 3 months and I didn’t M at all. It was amazing. I finally proved to myself that I CAN do this and control myself. The benefits were outstanding. But guess what happened after 3 months and 1 day? I fapped to P. It felt ugly. I felt humiliated. I felt disrespected to my own self. This is when I realised my greatest lesson, and this when I saw the big picture.
The next attempt is a year later which is now as I type, and I proudly announce that I attempted the greatest and most successful brainwash to my mind and body in my life so far. I am currently 4 months and a half clean and I am in total control of my urges, of my mind, of my sexuality and of my life. I am finally beginning to enjoy the harmony of my soul, of my body and of my mind.
We all have different goals when it comes to nofap. Some of us have the nasty effects of nofap which I mentioned earlier, some guys have erectile dysfunction(including myself), some guys have all the above. Some guys need some rewiring and some need to go complete cold turkey. Whatever your goals are, they seem to fit your paradigm according to your story. GO for it.
The beginning of the most successful brainwash to yourself should start with the quote “Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change”. You should ask yourself if this is how you would like to proceed with your life, because trust me no one will come and save you. Not your future wife, not your parents, not your friends, not even god. YOU are the only who needs to sit with yourself and decide. And decide what you may ask. That’s up to you to answer. For myself, I decided that I don’t want to be a f***ing slave. I want to stop being ashamed. I want to be able to go out to the world and dance with life and women. I want to have a sexual intercourse and think about every inch of the girl i’m devouring(with love) not just to put it in and orgasm. I want to be able to sit with my family and friends, and enjoy deep conversations about life.
Most probably you are aware of the brain reward system and how it works, but in case you don’t here’s a general refresher:
Normal people enjoy eating ice cream, enjoy exercise, enjoy deep talks with people, enjoy sex and enjoy any healthy activity to the mind. Other type of people also enjoy drugs, drinking alcohol without control, smoking hazardous stuff and so on. The reason people ‘enjoy’ doing a certain activity is that a part of their brain gives them the sensation of pleasure. Dopamine, or endorphins, are the terms used for this (I’m no expert on biology as this is what I know from general research; feel free to correct me if I make a mistake).
Now what happens when we watch P? Generally speaking any activity that involves sexuality has extreme pleasure linked to it(That’s how nature designed it). As we are looking at the screen, the pixels, the non-reality concept of sexual intercourse, the magnified body parts of a model like-women, the expression-less faces of the actors, the sexual positions that take time to actually do properly, all of these combined, gives a HUGE dose of pleasure to our mind. Alright so what’s the problem you may ask. Cool, sounds legitimate. What happens when you do that two times a day? 4 times a day? Now what happens when you do that 7 days a week? What happens when you do that for 2 years? What happens to your mind, body, soul, thinking and life if you do this for 20 years? You damaged your biological and psychological processing of nature completely my friend. P videos no longer become some ‘pleasure spike’ that you get similar from an ice cream or exercise. It becomes a HABIT. So if ‘hardcore biker women with 10 men ramming them violently’ video is the only thing that satisfies you 4 times a day, what do you think happens when you close the computer screen? Will you get the same pleasure from sitting with your parents and having deep talks? Will you get the same pleasure from holding your pet and petting them? Will you get the same pleasure from smelling your girlfriend’s/wife’s neck and noticing how beautiful this extraordinary creature is? Will you enjoy watering the plants in your house? No buddy. The only thing that’s gonna be on your mind is the frustration of why that video of biker women didn’t satisfy you enough, so want a greater dose of P next time. This gentlemen, is the devastation of our brain reward system. Hence P addicts stay home, don’t get involved in exercise, have social anxiety, and the list is countless. Nothing in life ever satisfies them from now on.
There is good news though. There is hope. I promise. I have been there and I can finally say I beat the system, for good. Please don’t just read lightly through these suggestions, and I appreciate if you actually consider them word by word so that you can figure out how to integrate them to your life. It won’t be easy at first. You have never done this in your life maybe, I know, and I understand. But this is the time to change. This is your wake up call. You are at are the right place and right time reading this paragraph. And once you finish reading this forum, don’t fall into the trap of getting de-motivated after a week or even a month or year. Find a way and create self sustaining motivation.
Here are the suggestions to do ALONG SIDE with nofap challenge that I personally recommend for you guys:
- Don’t attempt the nofap challenge just to not masturbate. Look at the big picture. Are you going to immediately M after the 3 months? Or do you want to get used to strong erecting libido and M when a woman is touching you? Let M happen naturally by itself. Either from a woman playing with you or from a wet dream.
- Exercise. I’ll try not to make it sound like a cliche: I promise you that exercise is what opened my mind to the curiosity of the knowledge of the world. Yes and I am not exaggerating. I’m not talking about the general ‘wear gym clothes and pump iron like an animal’. Let’s start with something simple like jogging. When you jog, whether gym or outdoors (which i personally recommend) and you put earphones with some kind of motivational music, you get some type of tunnel vision and awareness. You start thinking about your life. You think about your future. You think about your goals. You think about wtf were you doing with your life that was wrong. You think about those friends which you know are toxic for you. Your consciousness will expand greatly. You will be forced to ask yourself questions that will change you. Exercise will heal you physically, emotionally, psychologically, mentally and spiritually. I swear. I am not exaggerating. You won’t have an idea what i’m talking about until you try it. Exercise should be a life long habit, not a temporary thing just for ‘losing weight’. I personally go to the gym and kite surf. It’s an outdoor water exercise that I highly recommend if you have a sea in your area.
- Read self help books. This is what changed my life. If there’s one thing I owe my new mentality to, it’s the power of these books. Don’t just read one book, nor 10 books. Not even a hundred. Make it a life long habit to read a book every month. A good book for P and M recovery to begin with is ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy – Robert Glover’. For the people who don’t like these books because they disagree with authors or simply think it is not for them, please have an open mind and re-consider this option. I was naive like you once. I cannot imagine my life now if it wasn’t for self help books. Go on google and search for the top rated self help books of all time and start there. Very powerful mindset changing material my friend.
- Start making friends with girls. Not just to f*** but to genuinely connect with those human beings. Start getting in touch with your emotions when it comes to women. You need emotions. The women needs to feel them from you as well. It is healthy to you and your relationship with them. You will begin to appreciate the little things in life from these changes.
- Write. This is a new habit that I just formed. When you wake up first thing in the morning, don’t check your phone buddy. You’re coming out fresh of a 7-8 hour sleep. Your mind is clear as ever. Do you really want to bombard it with social media trash? Drink water and wash your face. If you’re a coffee person (like myself) make your mug and sit on a table. Then write. The information you write in that morning, you will forget after a few hours. Do you know why? Because these are purely your subconscious thoughts. Don’t re-read them the same day, just keep writing for a month let’s say. Read them by then. You will understand yourself immensely from writing. A healing process will begin. I personally type on keyboard because the amount of information that flows out of me while typing is 3 times faster on keyboard in a given time than using a paper and pen. It’s your personal choice. It doesn’t matter what you exactly type; just begin with a few sentences and automatically you’ll be warmed up to write a newspaper. By the way, it can be a bit scary, because when you write your thoughts on paper, you face yourself. You can’t lie to yourself on paper. It’s a great way to have a negotiation with yourself, and the rest of the day you will have solid control of your thoughts and emotions.
- Download hypnosis tracks to remove bad habits in yourself. They could be any habits from anxiety, low self esteem, social anxiety, etc..There are countless stuff you can find online. This works. Do the research on how it works and try it. It will work wonders. It worked greatly for me.
As a final paragraph to conclude my forum, I’d like to let you know how I’m doing and feeling after 4 months and a half of zero P. Side note; i’m not exaggerating here in any way.
My perception of myself and the world widened. I became more curious to understand. I now believe in myself. I believe. I came to realise that I can accomplish any goal I want. Literally. All my limiting self beliefs are becoming under my control. It takes time, yet it is worth it from day one that you are working on it. I appreciate the little things in life. I feel my body more. I am more in touch with my emotions. I have so much energy that I haven’t felt it in my life before. Or to be more specific, I have more vitality. I feel like doing things I haven’t done before. I feel alive god damn it. When i’m making love to a woman I no longer think of just sticking it in. I started loving foreplays. I take my time. I listen to her breathe. I smell her all around. Where were all these sensations hidden? I also have a great passion for everything I do in general. Life became much better. I like to spend more time with my family and close friends. I love going out more. I love to face the world, and more like facing myself. There are countless forums on this website that will show similar pleasures. Maybe one day you will contribute as well, and inspire others.
Thank you for your patience. It really means a lot to me if I inspired you gentlemen. I wish you all the best of luck, and I know that every single one of you can make it. I’m not trying to make a common farewell statement here; I actually genuinely believe that if you put your mind to it, you will beat the bad habit that we discussed, and you will once and for all destroy the toxic industry’s intention to make you a slave.