So I’ve decided to post for the first time at this milestone, it’s been quite a ride and I just feel like sharing to hopefully help those currently abstaining, those needing encouragement and give a little back to the community that has spurred me on. Me –> a 27 year old guy in the UK, currently doing hard mode (no PMO).
So masturbation was my crux, 1-3 times a day without fail, with the little tug n tissue necessary before sleep. I gave up porn years ago and I thought it would supercharge my sex-drive and throw my fantasies into the real world, I even tried the whole retention thing – little did I know I was just zapping away at my whole reward system and I was still as warped as ever!
Social anxiety and fluttery chest, brain fog, feelings of utter annihilation after exercise (how I did as much exercise as I did I’ll never know…). I use to set off fireworks in the sack when I was younger, but I’ve been plagued with ED in recent years (despite being in reasonable shape the whole time) and my last girlfriend complained I could just never hit the mark. Harsh? Well just imagine the kind of performance I could give now. Chronic fapping is not natural, girls deserve better.
That’s when I stumbled across NoFap and the wild claims attached. I thought if it could just live up to 10% of its claims I thought it would be worth a try. I doubt wanking has ever made anyone happy. The best description I ever heard about porn (and vis a vis masturbation) is that it is like an all you can eat buffet – seems like a great idea at the time but you never come away feeling good afterwards.
To my surprise, the benefits have been awesome. There’s been seriously hard times along the way too, but overall I feel like I’m on an upward interstellar trajectory.
Below is a timeline of how I’ve found it since I really struggled at times and couldn’t find information myself in this way, then ladies (I hope women can benefit from this too, honest it’s awesome girls!) and gents, all the juicy gains at the bottom.
Prologue: 8 days strong then relapse. Ooops. I was feeling great then bam, I couldn’t take it no longer. I lasted about 5 seconds and then it was over (what a downer, worst wank ever), and felt emotionally and physically drained. However, afterwards I knew straight away I would have to really go for it!
Days 1–14: Woooah! What’s happening? I’m hypercharged, like a bull on steroids. You feel seriously awesome. If you’ve masturbated all your life like me then this might be your first taste of real manhood, the kind of unrestrained masculinity I thought all the feminists were making up. What I imagine steroids feel like. However, the beast awakens in the midnight hours and I found myself writhing around, my mind drenched in sex (real fantasies, not the shadowy nothings you try to conjure up to lift the limp playdough) with a lump of granite which would not go away. I feel like there may have been a better way to deal with this but I just went with it without touching and quite liked it, though temptation was a bitch.
Days 15–28: Yawn, what was all that about, where did all the thoughts about the sexy naked people go? Out of nowhere things just got easier, not easy but way more manageable, like it would be plain sailing towards the 90 days (not the case).
Days 29–35: The beast is back with a vengeance, I’m up at the small hours again with a big tent pole and my mind is like molten lava just sleazing around in circles. ~Day 35: What was that? Did I dream it? No, my leg is drenched. I’d had a wet dream, maybe semi-conscious but no touchy. I drift off into a beautiful sleep J.
Day 36 onwards: I wake up and the birds are chirping outside my window, the heat has gone, though it slowly ratchets up and subsides still. Initially I thought I had relapsed and was unsure if I’d lose all the benefits and awesomeness I’d been feeling, which itself produced a bit of anxiety. After a couple of days I realise that isn’t the case and things are still gravy, but I feel more relaxed.
A note about mobile phones: I’ve been hooked on my phone, waiting for that little bleep to see if it’s a tinder match, message from one of the girls I’m trying to hook up with. This has gotten worse with NoFap but may just be subsiding now. It feels like a similar addiction to fap. Has anyone got to the bottom of this?
The results (I’ve tried to sum these up a little more concisely)
Early on (days 1-14) – All revved up, voice begins to get lower and I’m already noticing increased attention: girls checking me out and more respect from guys. I’m noticing and attracted to people more too. Compulsively exercising and faster recovery from the gym. Skin improving (wasn’t terrible to begin with but could breakout randomly).
Middle – social anxiety on its way down (but not gone), mindfulness on the up. Voice steadier and more resonant. Didn’t like the sound of your voice beforehand? You’ll love it now. Gym game is strong. Breakout, then skin continues to improve.
Now – social anxiety still improving, enjoying social interactions way more and happy to strike up conversations of my own accord. The rate and reaction time for witty one-liners is up immensely, my tongue is like a pistol. Skin almost clear for the first time since childhood, spots healing very quickly. Greatly improved mental clarity, not always thinking about sex, able to focus on what I choose to.
Also my messaging game is up immensely, despite often being fired up I actually care less about sex and can just chat to girls normally. This is working wonders on Tinder. I’m way better at teasing too and don’t feel the need to text back instantly nor get too het up if they don’t message back straight away.
I’m really looking forward to the next few weeks! I hope this was useful and gives a little flavour of what you might be able to expect, though I imagine everyone’s journey will be slightly different. Keep going if you’re already on your way you’re doing great, and if you haven’t given up the fap yet just do it you’ll never fap yourself happy or fap yourself into the man you want to be – you’ll just use loads of tissues causing deforestation and the destruction of our rainforests.
So at 40 days, I feel happier, healthier, more productive/successful and a quantum leap more awesome (check out my profile picture I’m Marlon fucking Brando J ).
I might post some goals for the new year at some point soon too so be sure to check those out, I’d appreciate your feedback and support. I’d love to hear how your journey has gone and if you’ve had similar/different experiences.
My last thing to say is just take it day by day, each day is a challenge you can’t do 90 days overnight! If you’re struggling just think back to why you’re doing it, make sure to enjoy the progress and gains you have made. Good luck fapstronauts!
LINK – Life changed 40 days + counting – humps and highlights so far