I have completed 90 days of NoFap on Hard Mode. Hard Mode was the only choice I had since I was not in a relationship. In this post, I will give a run down of my circumstantial background, some stats about me, some tips, and the benefits I experienced.
I am a 28 year old male, just turned 28 two months ago. Am currently single, have never been in a constructive relationships before. Limited sexual experience. Still live with mother. In massive debt from a combination of student loans, car debt, and debt from attempting a business venture for 2 years. It failed, leaving me demoralized and hopeless. I am back in the work force. I am 6’1″ and currently weigh 190 lbs. I work a standard 9-5 job, making 60,000 a year. I am deep into personal development, having read 100+ books on various personal development topics.
I found out about NoFap in January of this year from a YouTube video where someone said they were doing a New Years’ Resolution on NoFap. I was intrigued. I investigated more, ran into Your Brain on Porn, NoFap and others. I didn’t think I had a problem until I tried to quit. I relapsed over and over again until I hit momentum in August and never looked back.
How I Got to 90 Days and Why I Stopped
I see some posts from some guys in here with serious levels of addiction. In comparison, mine was not as nearly as severe but it was still crippling. In my late teens and early college, I was a twice to three times a day fapper, usually using pictures to get off. Until I ran into hardcore porn at 19, then it was off to the races. I severely cut down in my early 20s, because I had a job. It then became once every other day. I would wonder why I felt lethargic, unmotivated, and low self-confidence. I had only gone one week in that span of time from 19 to now at 28 without fapping and that was because I was on vacation. During that week I felt strangely alive. Little did I know it was NoFap.
So you might wonder why I stopped. Well, at 28, the pressures of life are showing glaring weaknesses in my lifestyle. Weaknesses such as never having a relationship when all your friends are getting married, never having good financial situation, still living at home, being behind in various aspects of life, seeing life pass you by while you remain stagnant. That motivation enough was enough to push me past the inherent pain. The pain of staying the same was higher than the pain of change.
As I went through this process I encountered some interesting benefits.
Benefits I Experienced
Some of these I read about, others were a surprise. These are only some but these were the most noticeable on my day to day experience.
- More mental clarity – I am much more lucid. I am able to concentrate better, I am more fluent in my speech, I have less of a mental haze surrounding me. Me now compared to the me in January is like night and day. I saw people talk about this one, but man, I didn’t know how much of a difference it was.
- More decisiveness – I am able to make decisions quicker and execute quicker. If I decide I want to do something I just do it and push for completion. No excuses.
- Less tolerance for disrespect – I am less tolerant of disrespect subtle or overt from other people. I am less willing to back down if I feel I have been slighted.
- More uncompromising – Following from the last point, I am more uncompromising when it comes to my values and executing on those values. When I say I am going to hit a goal, I hit it. I will also not bend or break for other people.
- Less pining after women – I have a casual indifference to women now, mostly to those at work. Those women aren’t fucking me, so why do I care about them? I just don’t reach out to them. Funnily enough, they reach out to me because I’ve retracted my attention from them.
- More muscle density and strength – I had to craft my physique from virtually nothing, as I was a very skinny guy. The past couple of years has been a strenuous endeavor to put on muscle. Not these past couple of months. They have been by far the easiest period of time for me to gain muscle. Also my muscles look a lot fuller, like I have a continuous pump.
- I don’t give a shit – Things that use to bother me don’t bother me. I just deal with problems as they come. If someone wants to come at me, they will get steamrolled as I progress towards the goal. No exceptions.
- More willpower – I have more willpower to do things. Probably because my prefrontal cortex is more alive than it was previously (hypofrontality). But I just have this edge that I never did before.
- More willing to express – If you think about it, you are no longer expressing yourself through one channel (PMO) so now you have to express yourself through a different channel (talking, activities, working, etc.) My creativity and drive have increased during this period.
Those are the major ones. I just feel like a more solid man. Before I was buttoned up. Now I’m more…free.
I see a lot of people hopping on this NoFap thing because it’s “No Nut November” or whatever. I also see a lot of people say “it’s bullshit” or “it’s placebo”. Let me tell you – this is not a fucking placebo. This is the real thing. I didn’t even know half of the benefits existed until I started experiencing them.
You think ejaculating constantly to people having sex on a screen day in and day out is not going to fuck you up mentally? Get real! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. That is just asking for mental illness.
The people who decry this can’t do it. They are slaves. They are addicted. They are trapped in their own dysfunction. Then you’ll get the people who say “I jerk off every day and I’m fine!”. But are they? Are they really? These people aren’t telling the full story. They won’t tell you how they had trouble waking up in the morning. They won’t tell you about their lack of motivation. They won’t tell you that they have ED. They won’t tell you that their marriage is on the rocks.
You have NO IDEA of what goes on behind closed doors. You have absolutely ZERO clue of who these people are on the Internet. I can guarantee you, most of them are suffering. So ignore them. Keep pressing on to 90 days. That’s what I did. I pressed on and said I was going to reach it or die trying. And now, here I am.
You can do the same. Best of luck, guys.