What can i say other than i feel wonderful and that i can’t believe i’ve reached this milestone. To me this hasn’t been a matter of counting the days of not fapping or browsing for porn, it’s been about making every single day count by not giving in and reminding myself of why i’ve been fighting against this corrosive vice. It’s been a journey of renewal, discovery and transformation into a new and better version of myself.
I will now list the benefits i have experienced from my time fighting and defeating PMO:
1) I no longer feel the desire to look for porn, as i now find it aberrating in every sense of the world. It’s a wretched parody of what a human being is and degrades it to be perceived as a mindless thing whose only purpose is to give pleasure. My life suffered horrible damage from porn addiction, and realizing this gives me a very solid reason to stay firm in never going to it again.
2) Social interaction is a lot easier for me and feels more fluid and i’m now more assertive in starting conversations and better at maintaining them.
3) I no longer desire women who i know to be out of my league or rather reach (namely: married womed or women who are into a relationship)
4) People approach me more to start conversations or simply to say hello.
5) My way of seeing women has changed drastically. In the past i would usually envision them as flawless or divine beings which were essentially hard to reach. But now i see them as regular people and not as any trophy you have to work hard to obtain, they are human beings not possessions.
6) My way of loving in general has become healthier and far from pathological. Before it happened i developed an ill form of love in general which made me be very obsessive and clingy towards those i had affections for. In love whenever i got an interest in a girl this even got me to the point of being emotionally unstable whenever said girl was not around, even getting to the point of what i’d call “Yandere behaviour” doing things which i then realized were and looked scary. Luckily for me i talked this out with my therapist and she helped me kick this thinking out of my life thanks to two books i read in which i learned a lot about unhealthy attachments and how they enslave you. As a result and after some time of healing and self discovery i’ve finally managed to actually enjoy my own company and not be emotionally dependant of other people.
7) Confidence has reached never before seen levels. I’ve become a lot more assertive and willing to take initiatives. This has helped me a lot at work and my productivity has improved dramatically
8) More discipline.
9) Less afraid to speak out my mind or be myself.
10) Any form of unhealthy attachment which only caused me harm has been thrown out of my life. For good i hope.
All in all it has been a tough battle. But all of this effort has been worth it, for the first time in my life i actually feel authentic happiness. I don’t feel any need to prove myself to anybody, or to the number one in everything or of being a slave to things i deemed important and nobody actually cared about. I feel really happy as of this point of my life. I’m really happy of how a shy little thing turned into a warrior. I barely recognize myself from 3 months ago.
Even though i reached the 90 day mark and PMO is a defeated foe (which my therapist says as well) know i have no intention of stopping here or letting my guard down. A new me has replaced the old one and i am living a better life and intend to keep it that way and experience more benefits from this new lifestyle. I am very much aware porn is dangerous because of it’s effects on the brain, and i also know my own mind may try to trick me into descending into that pit again, as such i’ve surely got not intention to allowing that to happen. My guard will not be down any moment just because i hit 90 days.
Anyway that’s all. Danke schön everyone for your support and this wonderful website. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. The fight continues