I started M at 13, multiple times a day, sometimes P but mostly imagination.
I lost my virginity at 18 to my gf at the time. At best, we had mediocre sex and it was because I could only become semi-hard, not enough for anything special.
After a while I lost the ability to perform at all…
I’d literally flip over & M beside her & fall asleep.. feeling so ashamed. I was so insecure that I even asked her who was better between me & her ex who she admittedly was not over all the way. She wouldn’t answer directly (to spare my feelings).
I used to M while flaccid which I believe made my situation worse. It didn’t help that I was a heavy smoker and moderate drinker back then . The only thing that saved me was I’m somewhat athletic so presumably my blood flow was more optimal than a smoker and drinker who’s obese.
To this day, I don’t have rock hard e (not yet anyway) Just so you all know a bit about me & my background, I was bullied as a kid & have had a foot fetish for as long as I can remember. To this day, I’m more interested in a woman’s feet than anything else. I always knew this was “abnormal”.
I always felt like the odd one out or that I had to suppress my quirky nature around others to fit in. I’m 26 years old, 5’11 but a bit skinny, relatively good looking but always lacked confidence & very awkward socially (way less awkward now, but it depends on how I’m feeling at the time, weird I know).
That confidence and awkwardness wavers a lot but I believe it’s all a part of the nofap process. By the way, I can’t stress enough, do not count the days 1 by 1. It will stress you out! Just enjoy your life, stay productive!
Before I learned about nofap I was depressed, experiencing ED, socially awkward, you name it. & those rare times I did get “lucky” and have a sexual encounter, it was below average at best & I didn’t get another one.
But here’s what REALLY made me want to change my life around…..
I went out (alone) on a Saturday night.. there were two lovely looking women sitting down. I approached them & they invited me to sit with them (My approach was solid, but I didnt maintain that initial energy/intrigue).
Throughout the ten minutes of talking with the two women, my main interest and her friend were both making subtle hints, all but telling me to invite her to my place… they were waiting for ME to seal the deal.
At one point, she looked me dead in the face and said, “Tell me what you’re really looking for”. & you guessed it, I played the nice-guy role & said I wanted a girlfriend. I did that because I thought men had to beat around the bush & basically lie to get what they want. However, this is not the case. Women want men to be real about their intentions & be confident about it
Quick disclaimer I do actually want a wife someday, but seeing as she already had a child of her own, I did not want a long-term relationship…… but I definitely wanted to have intercourse with her at the time.
Long story short, the girls decided to go home. She took my number down but even I knew she wasn’t going to use it. I went home that night more depressed than ever. This will sound dramatic but I felt like less of a man…. That might’ve hurt more than any girl calling me out my name could. With that being said, I’m extremely happy this night happened. It was the motivation I needed.
Benefits of Nofap (so far, day 36)
I started nofap to defeat ED & to learn to assert myself, be a man. I have begun to accomplish these goals. Some other personal benefits I’ve noticed:
1.) More assertive in all areas of life, more confident.
2.) Deal with rejection much easier.
3.) Actually expect female encounters to go my way & if they don’t I can move on.
4.) More serious about personal growth, back in gym landed a decent job (70k / year)
5.) Eye contact a little easier for me with pretty women, it’s not about staring them down, it’s just about not being afraid or feeling inferior. (Tip, make her look away before you do, but don’t creep them out, it’s not a staring contest)
6.) Respect from peers. People want me to succeed & generally believe in me. They think higher of me because I dress and move with purpose. I take each personal relationship much more seriously.
7.) Manly humility. I don’t mind moving out the way for someone to pass through the door first, I’m secure & don’t have to take major action to prove it.
8.) Sex Libido has increased but not to 100%
9.) No need to rush my statements. When I do speak, people listen. I intentionally talk less & react rather than say something just to say something
10.) More attractive.. slightly deeper voice, “glowing” face, more of a manly presence, less goofiness.
Advice
1.) DO NOT count the nofap days one at a time
2.) DO NOT attempt to manipulate the process or edge.
3.) DO NOT stay stuck on Day1, persevere (day1 imo will always be the toughest).
4.) DO NOT activate any triggers (no P sites, avoid Instagram & social media).
5.) DO NOT feel discouraged or think you’re fully cured because of a little progress.
6.) Stay safe, STDs still exist & more people have them than you think. You can’t tell just off looks!
7.) Read success stories like these ONLY if you feel like you need to. Over analyzing and overthinking may lead into PMO.
8.) Understand there are libido issues for other men & even some women. Don’t feel ashamed.
9.) Be prepared for ups and downs in your sexual desire, PMO urges & mood swings.
10.) Despite your progress, some women will still attempt to bring you down. Don’t base your self-worth on what a girl or guy thinks of you. They’re just a person.
BONUS.) Hansom or Ugly, Small or Tall, be confident & assertive at all times. Focus on improving yourself & people will become more attracted to you & show you more respect bc you’re respecting yourself
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