Figured it was time to make a post and give back to this great community as I would not be where I am today without NoFap. Background: 34 y/o professional. Habitual MO since age 7-8. PMO since teenage years. Hard to remember exactly.
Excited to make this post… with now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, it’s amazing to see how dark this addiction really is. I have essentially been a high functioning drug addict (dopamine) my entire life. I knew from growing up in the church, that PMO is deeply sinful but was never able to break this habit… until a recent breakup. This shook me and was broken and convicted of failed relationships over the years. Typically I lose interest and walk away from relationships, this was the first time the gf walked away (wish this had happened earlier in life). The dark side of this is — my entire life I have treated women as sex objects and have never had a deep and meaningful relationship with a woman. Also never felt worthy to be loved by a woman (or anyone for that matter). This is not good! This is PMO in spades.
General advice for those struggling with this addiction, take it from someone with more life experience on avg in this community. QUIT THIS SHIT. It is not worth it. Period. It will ruin your life. The benefits in quitting are enumerable (see below).
75 days ago when this breakup happened, I knew it was also time to breakup with PMO. Also cut alcohol and sugary drinks from diet at same time, def do not encourage this. The withdrawal symptoms were incredible. Not good! Def was not prepared. Long story short, initial flatline— persistent insomnia and suicidal thoughts on one particular day landed me at the doctor. Was prescribed anti depressants and anxiety meds but my understanding is, via Dr Caroline Leaf, these drugs do not fix your problems, they only take the edge off. Knew I had to fix my life the right way— with hard work! Fitness, diet, reading, self improvement, working on relationships. CHANGE YOUR HABITS, look up monk mode on YouTube if you need to. It takes 60 days to change habits. NoFap is the best time in your life to get this done. For example, by introducing fitness habits, have moved from size 39 to size 34 waist and just getting started. It can be done!
Only relapses to date have been MO related with pronounced chaser effect. Currently moving from withdrawal flatline (this time flu symptoms) to coasting flatline on 14 day no MO streak. Goal is to make 90 days no PMO but realistically will take longer for full reboot.
Back to the beginning, first streak was 23 days and superpowers were very pronounced until MO relapse: more relaxed, able to make eye contact, dominating workouts, social anxiety gone, more alpha, etc.
Specific advice for those in this process of abstaining.
- Channel energy surplus into fitness.
- COLD SHOWERS. I didn’t take this seriously until 12 days ago. It’s life changing. Plenty of articles available on benefits of cold showers.
- Some may disagree, if you feel like NoFap is too difficult, quit P first and quit MO later. But try everything you can do to cut both on first attempt and go as far as possible hard mode. If you have to relapse, you can even FMO but no P under any circumstance! See yourbrainonporn article below.
- Cut off social media, this is a trigger and will cause relapse. Social media is a colossal waste of time anyways if you’re a male. Quit and never go back.
- Communicate your struggles to (male) family and friends. No longer living in shame and guilt has been tremendously helpful.
- As your coming out of this addiction, you will not be happy with where your life is at. Be prepared for this and get ready to re-evaluate what you want out of life. This is important and not easy. Every man needs a mission in their life and it needs to be their #1 priority. I have been taking the path of least resistance (with success) my entire life and this is changing! Healthy risk taking is a NoFap benefit.
This was a stream of consciousness post as there are so many details to share about the last 2.5 months and have surely left out many. Let me know if you have any questions and will try to clarify.
Best of luck brothers.