Like most of you here, I was exposed to porn from a very early age. I latched onto it quickly and used it every day for as long as I can remember. I had no idea what type of damage I was doing to myself.
I wasn’t that interested in relationships, and while I felt horny, I was kind of shy and never pursued sex much for the entirety of my teenage years. It wasn’t until my mid 20s that I started having sexual experiences, and they were always a complete disaster. I was never able to get hard, I’d be limper than ever and it was so demoralizing. It was impossible to remain in a long term relationship because I was so impotent and not confident in myself.
For a long time, I kept the status quo and would keep meeting women, staying soft, losing them, feeling sorry for myself, then repeating the cycle. It was super depressing and demoralizing. I became so cynical towards anything with relationships. I probably used porn more than ever to cope.
I didn’t start to take things more seriously till I came across some youtube videos talking about the negative effects of porn. I thought that was ridiculous at first, but the more I dwelled on it, the more I thought that I would have nothing to lose to at least try to give up porn.
Damn, it was hard. Getting more than a week streak at first was near impossible. The first time I made it more than a week I still ended up MO’ing to maintain some satisfaction. Although, I started hitting the flatline pretty bad during this time, and felt no satisfaction at all from it. It was just a coping mechanism that I had to do, and forced it.
Eventually around 27 years old, I managed to get my first 90 days (while still MO’ing). I was very excited to make it this far, and was hoping I’d be cured. But when I got into a sexual relationship not long after I was still limp as ever.
I started to get super paranoid that I had a venous leak, or some type of actual physical problem because abstaining from porn was not working. I would OBSESSIVELY read through r/erectyledisfunction r/pied and other subreddits that would just make me more and more anxious. It was so damn unhealthy.
I was convinced I would never get better, so I went back to porn… for another 3 years. I let myself slide so hard because the results I expected never came. This was a mistake.
During your darkest moments, you have to keep pushing. That was the lesson I learned from the first 90 days I got. It wasn’t until this year that I decided to actually do this properly, trust the process entirely, and go completely hard mode. No MO at all, and especially no porn.
It was absolute hell. I went into the flatline within 4 days, and I didn’t come out of for over 3 months. I barely had an erection for what seemed like 2 months, and when the first one came, it felt so weak. I was constantly paranoid that what I was doing was just going to make things worse, and that FOR SURE I had some sort of physical problem that was causing my ED.
But here’s the thing, I kept trusting the process. I did not experiment to make sure everything was ‘ok’. I kept going. It got super dark and depressing, but I soldiered on.
I’m happy to report that just after 100 days, it all came back better than before. I was finally able to have real sex, with the fullest erection I’d have in front of a woman. There was literally no dysfunction at all. I was able to go all night and control when I wanted to O with relative ease. It was honestly shocking how much of a difference things were.
I am completely changed now, and I can actually have a sex life now. I may have wasted my teens and 20s, but I’m grateful to have finally fixed this issue.
My message to you guys is to never stop fighting. And to try hard mode if you haven’t yet. Sometimes it takes a long time to see any results, and it gets worse before it gets better. It sucks, and it’s depressing but it is worth it.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
LINK – Fixed lifelong PIED
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