Age 30’s – Now I know: PMO must have been the cause of my living a miserable life.

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I have reached 100 days. See below a list of the benefits:-

  • Increased confidence.
  • I don’t creep out over girls and get nervous.
  • Feel like I am the prize!
  • Learning to know myself.
  • Working harder in the gym.
  • Work is better.
  • Better friendships.
  • More hope in life / less depression.
  • No fear with phone / internet history.
  • Better health.
  • Better sleep.
  • More assertive.
  • Better self image.
  • Less anxious and calmer in difficult situations.
  • Automatic development.
  • Less stressed about ‘girls / sex’.
  • Enjoy music more.
  • Enjoy the little things in life.
  • Planning for the future I want.

Over the past few days, I have found a new kind of perspective on my life. I am in my 30’s. This never happened before, as I tended to go through life taking one miserable day at a time. Until recently.

I know that there are a lot of people who PMO. However, I was always aware of my using it being a fierce addiction. I used to stay up all night with PMO. I was once drunk and told a friend about it… he kind of said it was natural, and told me not to beat myself up over it. That did not help. I hated myself, and my life. I guess he didn’t appreciate how compulsive it was for me. How deep I was in to it. How miserable it made me.

Now I know: PMO must have been the cause of my living a miserable life. My life has changed on this streak. I am more self aware. I am aware of temptation. The desire is strong not to go back to the horrible feelings that PMO cause me. I know I am vulnerable. Yet I hate PMO. I know I might fail. Yet deep down I do not want to fail. I never want to go back.

Anyway, the insight I had over the past few days is this. I can now look back at situations in life that occurred before and which ended badly, or which I didn’t feel comfortable with. Then I can decide – “how should I have handled that? What would I have wanted to do? If I am writing my own history, what do I want it to look like?” Mostly the answer is, not reacting negatively to difficult situations, remaining calm and not making snap decisions. Perhaps try and be smarter and take a bit more of the goodness out of life. It is like I have become self possessed. I have gained perspective.

Now I could put this down to my age. However, it seems to be that for this entire streak, I have started to read, but more importantly digest and understand, various books about personal development. Every day I seem to have a small, original insight about my life that seems to come out of nowhere. It seems miraculous to me. I am enjoying life at a deep, solid level – perhaps for the first time in a decade. It feels like I can now ‘grow as a person’. I may be able to improve my future. That was not there while I was on PMO.

Peace out, Broskis. Stay strong.

LINK – 100 days – what has improved?

by jamesz84