Today is 100 days free from the grips of a lifelong addiction. As i mentioned before i have never felt the optimism i have right now about the hope i have of quitting for good.
#1 I told my wife! I can’t understate how key this was in the battle. It turned the monster of shame inside of me into a helpless mouse. I watched a video on TED talk about how the key to victory is removing all shame. We do that by being open and honest with those around us. I had a 6 month streak under my belt before and that didn’t feel nearly as good as this because now i have a team in my corner. Who is my team? My Wife, my best friend, another close friend, this forum, and now i have a therapist.
That brings me to the second reason that im feeling very optimistic about the chance to finally win this fight. I had my first ever visit with a therapist yesterday. It could not have gone any better. First off the whole experience was therapeutic. I left work on my lunch hour for the appointment. My palms were sweating, i was so nervous. I have literally only barely opened up about this issue to 3 people in my life (+NoFap). Now im about to tell a complete stranger. But to actually feel like im taking a huge step forward in destroying this evil enemy felt great.
I arrived at the appointment and met my new therapist face to face. Everything was so calm, peacful, and serene. The gentleman literally looks and acts and feels the way i could see myself in 20 years if i can get my @#$ together. Well put together, very nice environment. Even the lights were low. After i uttered the phrase “i have struggled with porn” i felt another blow to the wall of shame inside me that I began to breakdown 100 days ago.
The rest of the visit my nerves were gone and i knew i was in the right place doing the right thing. I will be going once a week to not only work on this issue but other issues that may even be related.
Now that im at 100 days im looking forward to 6 months, 1 year, and beyond.