After nearly twenty years of viewing internet pornography I finally decided I had had enough. My initial trigger was a documentary by a journalist named Lisa Ling. I knew I had a problem. I realized that I didn’t want my life to be remembered by my friends and family as a lifelong porn addict. I was viewing pornography an average of 4-5 times a week. All this with a wife and kids.
After viewing Mrs Ling’s documentary I sought out more authors. Two of the most influential ones were Matt Fradd and Dr Kevin Skinner. Fradd talks about the moral problems with pornography while Dr Skinner go in depth into the science behind the desire to look at porn. On October 24, 2019 I decided that I had had enough. But how was I going to break out of this awful trap and crutch that had consumed so much of my life? I decided to try going Cold Turkey. In addition to the advice of Dr Skinner this is what worked for me.
– Keep a daily journal. Write your temptations and track when you are most vulnerable.
– Tell a close friend (and of course your spouse). If you have a friend that has gone through AA or another type of similar program they will understand what you are going through. Be proud of your decision! It’s ok to talk to your friends about it. You will be surprised at how many others suffer from this problem.
– Find something to watch on TV that you wouldn’t normally have time for because you would normally be looking at porn. I found some silly TV shows on Netflix and would binge watch whenever I was lonely. This helped me because I travel part time for work.
– No matter what your faith is find a way to talk to God and ask for strength. Withdrawal symptoms take time to fade and aren’t easy.
-Find something physical to take on. I discovered Jiu Jitsu and can say that it has greatly helped replace porn for me. Running or walking while listing to Dr Skinner also greatly helped.
-Every milestone you reach (one week, month, six months) find a way to celebrate with your loved ones. After all they put up with your addiction for how may years? They will be glad. Every day without porn is a good day!
-When you are tempted find a group of songs to listen to. Eminem has a song “I’m not afraid” that really helped me. Listen to your music often.
– Take each day at a time. Even though I have been clean for over a year (no porn or NoFap) I still have temptations. In fact I know that right now I have the ability to close this site and look at porn in a few seconds BUT I also have the strength, and experience to divert my energy from that temptation. I frequently tell myself ” today will not be the day I relapse.”
In closing. If you would have asked me a couple of years ago if it is possible to give up porn I would have doubted it. I never had any role models to look up to. I want each and every one of you to know that you can get rid of porn in your life. It is such a good feeling to be free from this trap. My marriage is stronger than ever and for the first time in my life I know that I am not “owned” by anything. I can’t go back ever.
Good luck to all!!!! You can do it!!! This is your life.