Age 41 – My once crappy marriage is great


I jerked it to images for 29 years. I figured out that semen retention was the secret in 2001, but always struggled to get past 2 weeks or so…and that was not very often. I would edge frequently to images, knowing it was bad for me but justifying it.

At 100 days free of PM, my once crappy marriage is great, I am smarter, and I feel pretty happy. Now that my wife is the only woman I see naked, the excitement is mind blowing. Every sex session is amazingly exciting…zero fantasies needed. And when my SO is the only source of satisfaction, I am motivated to make her happy so as to keep it coming. Over time, my being nicer, more patient, and more interested has begun to pay off.

Many of the neuroses that I caused her to have by being a jerk-off have faded away. We are getting the kind of marriage we both want. This would not be possible with porn and self-abuse. You all owe yourselves the chance to live authentically. Avoiding porn and masturbation will probably change you and those around you for the better. Jerking off is really self-abuse.

I only wish I realized [my happy wife happy life] was partially in my control earlier. [Intimacy] was never great for us either. I resented the lack of intimacy, thought I foolishly married into a bad chemistry situation. But keeping free from PM made me very horny and very happily excited by the wife, as well as much nicer to her. The enthusiasm eventually created a feedback loop, and things are better than I had ever thought possible. It takes time, but huge changes are possible within a short time. You may end up very pleasantly surprised.

I had/have sex every 7-14 days. If anything, the sex helped. I was always a chaser effect guy, but that is completely gone now. Sex definitely depletes my motivation to achieve and my intelligence, but nothing like PM did. Unlike PM, it does not result in shame, which brings additional negative effects. Hookups and committed relationship sex may diifer in the shame department, though I am not sure at this point.

My goal is to maximize life enjoyment and meaning. I find that, for me, as a married man, periodic meaningful and intimate sex is part of that.

I am 41. I am nicer and more patient in general. My job depends on understanding and solving complex problems, so my intelligence gets challenged frequently. I can say with  confidence that I am significantly more intelligent since quitting PM. Concepts are easier to understand. Real sex knocks it down a bit, but it comes back in a day or so. I also  feel better   in terms of mental health and adjustment. I can separate what matters from what does not. General confidence is higher, but more realistic. Mood swings are essentially gone: I run out  of energy but don’t get depressed or anxious. Life is better in every conceivable way.

LINK- Day 100: Never going back

By icxs