Half a year ago, I
- couldn’t get hard without porn
- couldn’t ejaculate without porn
- couldn’t ejaculate with porn without a death grip, and it also took a long time
I’m in my sixties, and picked up porn and PIED over the last five years or so. I cold-turkey stopped looking at any sort of porn six months ago, even averting my eyes from the life-size ads on the outside of sexy lingerie stores. Somewhat after that, I also stopped masturbating (with occasional exceptions, see below).
I know I was immensely curious back then as to how my recovery would look, so I’m posting my progress so far to help others who are in the same boat that I was.
Progress:
- Last week I finally had a really strong erection, the hang-a-wet-towel-on-it type. This was incredibly reassuring, it lets me know my hardware still works. But it is by no means a regular occurrence yet; the best it normally gets is about 75%.
- I checked this morning (note the 0 days flair), and I can quickly and easily ejaculate with light, gentle stimulation, without any reference to porn imagery, visual or in my imagination. (I have done this test from time to time (roughly monthly), and the improvement is regular.)
- I have no interest in seeking ass-up-face-down or other porn-inspired postures from my sex partner. This wasn’t immediate, it was a gradual change over the 6 months. If these postures happen while changing positions or whatever in passing, yes, the view is great, but it’s not important, and I have no desire to linger on it. Let’s get on with the intimacy. Note: Porn is visual-only. I make every effort to luxuriate in the sensations of touch, taste, and scent, and down-play the visual aspect.
- For the first time in at least a couple of years, I was fully hard inside my sex partner. It wasn’t fully hard when it went in, but something (her cheek brushing against mine? her hair on my face? I have no idea what) caused my brain to decide that being fully hard was called for. It didn’t last very long, and I didn’t finish, but OMG, what motivation.
Still unresolved:
- Six months of sex, or attempted sex, every week or so, and I still have never ejaculated with my partner, under any circumstances. It’s like when you can’t find the word you want to use; the brain just can’t find the trigger to make it happen. It’s been close a couple of times, but I don’t try to force it. When it’s ready to happen, it will happen.
In summary, it looks like the pieces of the recovery are falling into place, they now all just need to happen at the same time, and also more reliably. A thorough reading of Your Brain On Porn indicates that this process takes nearly a year to complete, and about 18 months to become the new normal. The changes I have seen so far give me hope for a complete recovery.
All the best on your own personal journey; persistence pays.
LINK – PIED progress after 180+ days porn-free
by gynophilus
UPDATE – Thoughts on 500 porn-free days
Not many thoughts, actually. And that’s GOOD!
I almost never think about porn any more. Likewise, I don’t keep checking this sub, and forget about it for the most part. I logged in last week to check for messages, and noticed I was coming up on 500 days porn-free. Cool; may as well post, in case it encourages anyone.
Sex is almost back to pre-porn normal, or probably as close as it will get at my age.
Resolving PIED is a long road, but going porn-free works. Hang in there, it’s worth it!
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