Feeling one with the force since around day 65, decided to ask out the hot girl at the gym. Her exact words: “what took you so long, I have had a crush on you for like a year.” Little does she know I was completely absorbed in a toxic porn filled life until just recently and couldn’t pick up on her vibe until just recently. Thanks nofap!
Update 1: Wow this post blew up! I really appreciate the kind words it really fires me up! I have tried to reply to most of the comments. I am in between exams right now but I will make sure to come back later and answer any more questions.
Update 2: Someone asked what I was like before nofap, I thought it would be important to answer that; I used to be somewhat outgoing. I have a good group of friends etc but I had crippling self doubt, bad work ethic, poor diet and drinking habits. Negative self talk. I used to pride myself on being a nice guy. I am not saying I am not nice now but it is important to be able to stand up for yourself and say no and not feel guilty for putting yourself first sometimes. This was the case for an emotionally abusive relationship that I was in where my girlfriend would guilt me into doing waaay to much for her and it left me feeling unappreciated. It was also the case with many friends I had that were using me and didn’t care about me.
How nofap changed my life; I have reached 90 days 3 times now. Each time I have felt better than ever. The first two times my focus was on avoiding porn and masturbating. This last time I decided to clean up all my bad habits. I made some resolutions this year. No porn, read a book a month, save 50% of my paycheck and get up early.
I have a TON of material that has helped me get to where I am. From motivational tapes and videos to books to quotes I have posted on my wall in my room. I feel like a different person today than I did 90 days ago. I was finally able to end a toxic relationship with my ex and more importantly RECOGNIZE that I deserved to be treated better in multiple areas of my life. I am going to end this long post by making it even longer with some thoughts and some materials that helped me get to where I am today;
1. Accepting that I might be wrong. Accept that maybe my perception of my life is not accurate and accept the possibility that I am lying to myself by thinking things are OK and that I don’t need to improve. Change is scary, but necessary.
This helped me overcome my self esteem issues, negative self talk and confidence issues!
3. I listen to Les Brown every day and I am actively listening. Its not just background noise. I want to listen and absorb what he says because I intend to apply it. I apply the ideas and concepts that he talks about. I take action and apply it, I started this on a trial basis because I figured it would give me positive direction. I have not had anything but success with this method. This is one of my favorites:
4. I am a psych major and I took out a lot of books on dopamine and the reward circuitry of our brains. This helped me understand why I had urges and cravings and that I have a rational part of my brain that is able to look past my basic primal urges. Porn is a superstimuli that lights up your reward circuitry in your brain. This creates an addiction for that dopamine high. You have the power to stop consuming the superstimuli. I don’t have to be a prisoner to the reward circuitry of my brain. I can impart discipline and not succumb to my genetic programming, because of this I have cleaned up all my bad habits. Every single one.
5. Support and love from the nofap community. Someone reached out to me when I was about to relapse. I came on here and made a short post. ONE person commented, that was all I needed. One person to talk to. I have been making a point to come on here and comment on all recent posts whenever I have some free time and I am just messing around on the computer anyways. Time I would have spent looking at porn I now spend contributing to the community that has given me a new grip on life!