So today I hit 100 days on NoFap. It’s been 100 days ago since my last relapse from a 72 day streak.
Yeah, it seems impossible, but in a half year, I only beat it once. And I’m not planning on going back anytime soon.
Me before NoFap
Before NoFap, I was a 21 year old kissless virgin, not knowing what to do with his life, nor really planning ahead to find out soon. I was into gaming, drinking a lot (was a student, so maybe that’s different now), insecure, not capable of looking people in the eyes during conversations and always putting people on pedestals. I masturbated everyday, with P around 1/2 times a week.
Until I started my Masters last year. In my master program, there was a stunning girl, who was nice and smart as well.
I didn’t undertake any action to have conversations with her at all, as normally. Though, on a random drink for master students at university, I ended up sitting next her and having a really good conversation for about 2 hours. I went home and something changed in me. Normally I would have go and M, but not this time. I guess I fell for her. Out of nowhere I lost my desire to masturbate for three whole weeks. And those weeks where freaking awesome. Sport was great, school was great, social interaction was great, life in general was great. I googled for effects of abstaining from PMO and found this place (so it definitely wasn’t placebo, I only found out about this community after experiencing benefits). This is where my NoFap journey officially begun
After the first three weeks I relapsed, but found this place. So I decided to give it another go. The first couple of attempts, I reached 2 week streaks. I had more energy, was more focused and started to think about my future. I found the YouTube channel of Elliot Hulse (check this guy out). His videos motivated me to look more in the future and see why the fuck I’m on this earth. I found my passion: being an entrepreneur and making genuine impact via business. Meanwhile, I reached a streak of 50 days. Haven’t gone through flatline up to this point, I just had so much energy, motivation and drive to improve my life. I started jogging, being super social (initiating conversations) and getting a lot more self-confidence. After this period, my streaks started to become shorter. I was in a bit of a dip, by lots of exams etc. I was on the verge of giving up totally, but decided to give it one last go. This ended up being a 72 days streak. During this streak, I started to frequently jog, doing awesome at school, being outgoing a lot more, lost my virginity (one time hook up with a friend) and just improve my life in general. I relapsed right before ending the school year, because of thesis stress. Around this time, I found out that PMO was my escape for my troubles. This is where my current streak begun.
This last 100 days were freaking amazing. I went on holiday and met a girl there from my home country, who I went with on a date. Around this time, my confidence was sky high, I knew what I wanted in life and went for it. On this date though, everything changed. Everything. The date went great, I liked her a lot, she was laughing the whole time etc. It was my first date ever, so I wasnt really sure on how to close the deal. It ended up with my being an unassertive idiot, not iniating a kiss or anything and each going our own way. Didn’t message her since then (its around 70 days ago). But this date made me realize that I have to be way more assertive in order to reach my goal. Like, crazy assertive. I started to meditate, going to the gym for weightlifting, getting cold showers, give myself affirmations in the morning about how confident I should be and how to act and handing in my thesis. I handed in my thesis, got my masters and started a traineeship at a startup. I now meditate 10 minutes da day, which helps me keeping my emotions under control, I go to the gym 3 times a week and play a team sport twice a week, I’m outgoing, talking with everyone, holding eye contact during conversations like crazy and I’m freaking confident. I’m a 100% sure one day I will achieve my goals, as long I take chances, be assertive and disciplined.
-When you’re going through a flatline, don’t give up. This is where the healing is taking place. I slept like crazy during flatline, was physically exhausted anyway and felt like fucking shit. It’s worth it when you get out of it. The confidence you gain for holding on, it’s golden.
-NoFap is the facilitator for change, not the change itself. It helps you change your habits, as it’s a great way to exercise discipline. It also helps in getting energy, motivation and time to achieve your goals and work on yourself. But remember, it’s a facilitator, not the change itself. You have to take action next to it.
-Cold showers help you in getting control over your mind again
-Meditation helps you cope with your emotions and get a grip over yourself
-When things feel shit and unnatural and you really don’t want to do something, then fucking do it. Do it. It’s just your brain, not wanting you to change as it’s programmed to keep you safe. And the unknown, although you know the change is for the better, is something your brain fears. Therefore, sometimes you have to do the things that you know helps you in achieving your goals, although you don’t feel like doing them at all.
-I probably forgot a lot of learning lessons, as they are now part of my regular life. So feel free to ask anything, I would love to help you further