Here I am… 365 days later after I decided to stop masturbating.
“Why?” One may ask. Because I wasn’t satisfied with where I was nor where I was heading. I felt like it was literally an escape route to my insatisfactions and the root cause of many of my problems. Boy was I right…
Jerking off was a constant daily routine. Morning, night and before sleeping. Always with porn. My actions and goals were so sexualized I look back shocked. I assumed that was who I was and it was part of me. Here I was very wrong, there was so much more to me.
The beginning was hard. I fed the sexual urges going after woman like an animal. But one thing was clearly changing: the way I dealt and experienced sex.
It was just so much more meaningful and better. I lost count of how many times I would get bored midsex and just lose my boner. Doesn’t happen anymore. It is just a whole different experience.
So those urges transformed themselves into energy and drive to pursue meaning. Be the best version of myself. Create.
It was the first domino of a series of self-improvement paths that made me from a lost boy into a man.
Assertiveness grows. Drive grows. Focus grows. You cannot change such a draining habit and remain the same. The energy has to be applied somewhere. Where it is applied will surey manifest positively. Have patience and determination.
But I didn’t start thinking I would change my life. I had my lows. I had my skepticism. But as I said, the cards were revealing themselves. And I made sure I kept count of every single day.
It was clear to me I was building virtuous behavior. However, I virtue can only be born when there is temptation. So the lows are a part of it. They are challenges that remind you of your fortitude. Remind you of your journey to glory.
30 days is an experiment. 90 days is a habit. 150 days is a lifestyle.
365 days is just a milestone in my new life.
Keep strong, keep on growing.
LINK – 365 days of a new life
Earlier post – 300 days – Spartan Medal
So… 300 days ago I started a journey that was a “test” of about 90 days that I wanted to do.
Having acknowledged my addictions as I masturbated 3-5 every day watching porn, I wanted change. I wasn’t where I wanted to be and I just felt like I was numbing myself. Throwing energy down the drain (literally).
And so it started. No porn and no jerk off. One thing is for sure, you can’t stay the same. If you do, you will relapse, two of my friends did.
What happens is, you get energy. Lots of it. Like a discomfort that makes you move and do things. Be it working, working out or going out. You have to dedicate it to something.
Through these 300 days I came a lot, but not by my own hand. That was my rule, and there were NO EXCEPTIONS. Every hard day that I made it through gave me strength to resist other harder days, and so it goes… until you kinda forget it altogether.
Right now I have been over a month without having sex and masturbation is not even an option. I don’t get random boners all the time, only in the morning. And my dick only gets hard when I’m gonna have sex.
Looking back at the amount of jerking off to porn I did everyday I would’ve NEVER imagined where I would be now. There is hope. You don’t have to know where you will be to get there. I didn’t. It was a 90 day challenge that became a virtue-building journey.
“Virtue can only be born in the presence of temptation.” This phrase stuck to me. Also for my carnivore diet that I’m on the 5th month. Similar to diet, I don’t hide from sweets and carbs, I look at them and say “No.” And the conscient “No” is what gives you strength.
My journey is far from over and I hope some of what I have shared may assist you in your own.
26 Male. Hmm everyone who masturbates has [reasons for quitting]… I felt like a fucking heroin addict enjoying the high after I came.
As much as the bullshit people say “empowering” it is not something that meaningful that makes you proud, it is utterly expedient.
Cheers from Brazil