So last year, around the same time, I got to 90 days and honestly thought to myself: “I’m cured! Time to have sex”. Well, not only did I pursue hookup apps, I began watching porn again and fell back right into my old habits. This time I see Nofap as more of a lifestyle practice and, while I may still count days, I’m not as attached to them when I know I’ve made a life-long change.
The changes themselves? Definitely noticeable:
1. A clearer head and a deeper voice. I went back to some old voice memos on my phone (didn’t plan this, just found them) and I was shocked to hear more bass. While I wasn’t concerned about my voice, it’s a great benefit. Plus, I go through my days far more focused than usual. The world actually looks clearer and brighter.
2. I’ve gotten great at re-framing my thoughts. There have been really challenging days (and especially nights) where it felt like I was struggling to keep going. Learning how to acknowledge the urge, re-direct my thoughts and allow the sensation to pass has been really powerful.
3. My skin is glowing. I eat a very clean diet with a lot of water (more on that later), but I was doing many of the same things before Nofap and I didn’t notice the same glow.
4. Energy is much improved. Again, I take care of my body in other ways, but my body does feel very balanced, even on days where my sleep and diet fall by the wayside. Now that I’m not fapping and throwing my testosterone levels out of wack, I just feel more confident.
5. I also have been getting asked out a lot lately. The confidence appears to have had an effect on people. Although I haven’t taken any offers, I’ve never been approached this much in my life.
Now, for advice:
1. Finding your “why”. My first go-around, I didn’t have a strong reason for starting. I did it to get to day 90 and then jumped ship. Having a true purpose and a vision for my life and my body keep me going. Whenever I’m unsure, I re-visit the reasons for taking this journey. It’s a strategy I’ve applied to other areas of my life as well.
Once you truly and deeply decide to do this, nothing can stop you.
2. Sleep. I had 1 or 2 nights on Nofap where I slept less than 4 hours. These were absolute h*ll in terms of PMO. It was so crazy tempting to fall back into PMO habits, not to mention the temptation for bad food.
3. Get rid of the processed crap. I definitely wouldn’t recommend making all these changes at once, but your diet’s really important to consider. Just like porn, processed food is designed to get you hooked. When you’ve got good fuel, you’ll feel a whole lot better.
4. Read “Think and Grow Rich”. Last summer I read this and it all clicked. The chapter on sexual transmutation blew my mind. I’ve gotten so much more writing and work done by channeling my sexual energy.
5. Last, scroll less. Media is taking over our lives. Netflix, Twitter, Instagram and it goes on and on. I still use these platforms, but very carefully. It’s easy to find a triggering image and then go down the rabbit hole.
For me, this feels like just a beginning and I can’t wait to continue this journey past these 90 days. I always feel like there are ways I can improve, as 10+ years of PMO has created some bad habits.
If you’re feeling stuck or hopeless or maybe struggling with it, I get that. I’ve stopped and started a few times. The game-changer, for me, was developing a clear vision of the person I want to be and working towards that every single day.