Alright brethren, I’m here to report in at 90 days! Though technically I believe I’m about 3.5 hours early but I’ll be asleep by then. So, here goes.
Things I’ve noticed:
Debilitating anxiety is almost non-existent that I’ve suffered from for 30+ years! Anxiety still remains in the background but not at the forefront. It’s as if it’s there as “something” in the room but not suffocating me all of the time.
Hair growth is about the same. I started losing my hair about 20+ years ago before I fapped so it’s more so genetic, but I do have to shave at an accelerated rate compared to what I used to.
Conversations with other people either interest me or they don’t. I’m a lifelong people pleaser who second guessed myself, A LOT! Now, if the convo interests me, I partake and if it doesn’t, I part ways with confidence without qualms.
My mental comprehension is much MUCH better! I remember things and when I make a mistake, it isn’t devastating like it once was. Again, probably correlates with anxiety going lower. Not being as forgetful has allowed me to keep track of key events in people’s lives that I can use in conversations at a later date.
I’m still talking more slowly, measured, and calculated instead of incessant rambling. Voice is deeper. Conversations are clearer and easier flowing. I’ve also been forward enough to tell my boss he owes me lunch and he agreed, lol! I NEVER would’ve taken that lead in years prior but now I have a sense of who gives a f*co instead of being so worried about offending someone. I’m not abrasive, I know what is acceptable, but I’m not so worried about offending or upsetting people.
Still get pmo & edging urges but it comes in waves. I believe this is more-so from a healthy sexual appetite instead of craving a “release” like a drug addict to drugs.
I admire women now and interact with thought and with an easygoing manner. I notice people talking to me more and again, I don’t feel anywhere close to as socially awkward as I used to. People are more drawn to me overall.
Lastly, I don’t feel inclined to “go with the flow” and follow other people. If I want to do something, I literally do it. I just got a new job walking around a warehouse all day and in my first week I’ve gotten tons of compliments on getting things caught up that were behind for a long while before I got there. I attribute this to my increased energy levels and grasping things quickly because I have a clearer mindset.
That’s about it at 90 days and If you’ve read this far, THANKS! You all are in this and it’s a fight. You’re fighting for your sanity. You’re fighting addiction. Fighting for your lives to be better and it’s the hardest challenge you may rise up to and overcome.
If you’re having a setback, get up and go at it again. Learn, progress, and move forward. These are challenges, not obstacles. If you need help, ask. We’ve come far together and we are destined to fail alone.
LINK – Day 90 – Update