I am part of this forum for almost last 7 years though I start putting serious efforts much later and I realized after many failed attempts that porn/sex addiction is grossly underrated. I still haven’t completed my 90 days reboot but I still consider myself successful to an extent, read on to know why.
During my early attempts at rebooting, I struggled to last even 3 to 4 days, it was a big achievement to eventually reach 1 full week without a glimpse of porn. Over the period of time, things started to improve and biggest achievement came when I remained porn-free for 48 consecutive days in February last year. Well, you guys might think that 48 days is no big deal but it was for me because I could not control my urges for even 3 consecutive weeks before that.
Things didn’t go smooth from there and like many of you, lockdown proved to be one of the worst enemy (I live alone), no points for guessing that I relapsed (also started alcohol again) but those 48 days had given me enough confidence to get back on track pretty soon. I kept having strong relapses at regular intervals but something had changed. I went from from a guy who used to watch porn on almost daily basis to someone who relapsed just 7-8 times in entire year while achieving my longest streak of 63 days.
This is a great success for me and a step in right direction as now I am much better at controlling my urges and I am not focusing on achieving 90 or 100 days anymore but the focus is on full recovery and claiming my life back. Few thoughts/suggestions/tips based on my experiences:-
1. Every relapse that you will experience will be stronger than your last one, try to get over it ASAP rather than binge watching else it can easily go one for over a week before you can take a corrective action.
2. Have a look at your ‘managing triggers’ strategy every time you relapse e.g I never noticed that going to gym at a particular time can be a trigger, I identified it after couple of relapses.
3. Hobbies and new habits can help only to a certain extent esp early in the process because the urge you experience is too strong and you haven’t developed a passion for your new hobby yet. Do not relay on it, I just go out for a walk the moment I realize that I am about to fall into the trap.
4. It helps to be with family and close friends. If you also live alone like me then I suggest to call them more often.
If you happen to read this post then please share your suggestions as well on how I can avoid relapses and slips going forward.
LINK – Successful or not?