So, I’m nearing 50 days now, and one thing that’s really stood out to me is how different I’ve felt for the last week or two.
I’ve felt more engaged, more social, smaller things seem to make me happier. I’ve found myself reconnecting with friends who I’d neglected to interact with for so long. The fetishes that I used to hold onto are almost completely gone now, they just don’t interest me, despite the fact it got to the point where I couldn’t PMO without them. The social anxiety that I felt creeping back in has all but gone.
My mind feels clearer, I feel less stressed by everyday events. I have noticed that I’m using social media more now, which maybe fills that gaping hole of dopamine that porn left me with. I could probably cut down on it a bit, but I think keeping it to healthy usage is fine (have to be weary of the infinite scroll trap though).
I still worry about things, but my baseline happiness has definitely gone up. It’s like there’s a little slider in my brain that someone has moved more towards the “happy” side. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon, and fully expect to get to 90 days and beyond. My libido is pretty bad right now, but I don’t really care as it’s preferable over the hypertextualization that porn gives you.
What people don’t put enough emphasis on is that dopamine desensitisation and porn addiction affect you in more ways than just your sex life. It spills out into your overall happiness, screwing up your reward circuitry and rewiring your brain to need hyperstimulation to feel any amount of satisfaction in everyday pleasures. It’s a sick cycle of usage, desensitisation, heavier usage until you have to take a cold hard look in the mirror to wonder “how did I end up this low?”. This fight is absolutely worth it, and I guarantee you’ll feel better in the long run, even if you’re not looking to date or get a girlfriend/boyfriend right now.