Female, 31.
Following a 4 year relationship I was single for 8 years, during which time I had nothing more than a few encounters. During this period I used porn to varying degrees. I enjoyed it but I wouldn’t say I was addicted; I mainly used it functionally because it was a quick way to get rid of tension.
Last year I had 2 x 3 month periods where I saw someone, and with both of them the issue of my porn use emerged for the first time (although I didn’t realise this at the time). With both partners I wasn’t able to come, and thought it was because maybe on a subconscious level I didn’t really like them enough or maybe we weren’t clicking sexually.
However, I soon realised I couldn’t even get myself off without porn, and my sex drive felt somehow altered; I still felt the urge to have sex, but the experience felt muted. I would end up feeling very frustrated – turned on and yet numb, mentally blocked and desensitised.
With porn I had no issues coming, although at times even that never felt enough (I could do it 3 or 4 times in a row and not feel satisfied), and although my orgasms could sometimes be strong and very quick they could also sometimes feel weak or not fully formed.
Ultimately I was out of touch with my own body, and felt disconnected from both individuals.
Giving up porn was like pressing a reset button. I am able to orgasm normally again and my orgasms are stronger and better. I feel more in-tune with my emotions and with other people. Thank you so much.
Everyone should read “Your Brain On Porn” and the risks of porn should be taught in schools.
[Private correspondence sent to Gary Wilson]
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