This isn’t a post to brag or show everyone how great I am.
I want to show you a new world that you can achieve if you commit yourself to it.
In high school, I was too complacent, and I breezed through it and I feel guilty about it. I never put more than an hour of work every week but was able to coast by without trying hard. I didn’t think anything of it because I still earned great grades. It wasn’t until senior year when I was taking challenging classes and refused to do more work, because I was frustrated by not getting it the first time. I had failing grades and I desperately wanted some motivation.
I found this community and I was skeptical because it was not “scientifically” proven. Nonetheless, I did give it a try since I thought it wouldn’t be so painful to go a few weeks without PMO. I was wrong and only by abstaining, did I even realize I had a physical addiction to PMO. Needless to say, I failed a lot. Reset my counter a lot. Still, I felt like shit. I wasn’t doing great in school anymore and I felt like such a waste. It wasn’t until I got rejected from my dream college that I started taking things seriously.
I’m a rather stoic person so I never cry. But it hurt so much emotionally to realize that I was the one who held myself back and threw away my chance at attending my dream school with my desired major (Computer Science @ UIUC*). I held myself back over something so stupid, lack of effort, because I didn’t want to spend more than a measly hour every week. How could I do this to myself? This was the wake-up call I needed because I couldn’t bear my parents spending all of this money on me, only for me to throw it to waste by being an unproductive piece of shit.
I did it all, cold showers, hard streaks, working out, cutting out social media, and built myself up. Even just one week of changing my lifestyle, I wanted to quit, but I wanted to hold out, I don’t want to be disappointed by myself any longer.
The first month was not only frustrating, but also cathartic. I felt like I was washing away my past with every cold shower I took. I worked my ass off at school and doing coding projects.
Although I wasn’t admitted into the major I wanted to be in, I decided to attend UIUC anyway. I hoped to transfer in and doing so required at the very LEAST a 3.75 GPA. It’s insane, but I honestly expect nothing less from such a top school in this field. In my first semester here, classes were definitely hard, and I felt myself falling. I had many close calls during stressful weeks, but this community’s diligent activity always saved me. This is why I wanted to contribute back after being helped out so many times.
NoFap turned my life around, but it wasn’t the only factor. Changing my whole lifestyle from the ground up was the most important decision. I will say it definitely helped, I no longer seem to be affected by seasonal depression anymore, and I definitely feel more energy and my mind feels sharp. I wanted to make this post because I don’t want anyone going into 2019 thinking they can’t change their lives so dramatically. I am living proof of it, I’ve never worked more in my life than I have during 2018, and It doesn’t stop here. Please, I want anyone who’s reading this to commit and remain diligent. I was skeptical in the beginning and almost blew this off as some BS, and If I did, I would have never been able to achieve as much. My journey isn’t over as I still have another year of school to get through before applying to transfer, but we all are fighting. Fighting to be a better person.
My only advice to you all is to learn how to love yourself. I feel like I see too many posts here about wanting to find love and doing NoFap to find love. I think this is a very toxic mindset. It keeps you focused on the wrong things in life. No matter how old you are or how you’ve never had a kiss, try to focus on only yourself. You are the most important person. Your life and merit shouldn’t be defined by someone else who loves you, it just enables a relationship where you can’t feel great without needing someone else.
I hope I motivated at least one person to stick out longer. Good luck to all my brothers in this community going into 2019. I hope we can all grow to become better and build each other up. Stay hydrated and stay focused 🙂
I am currently 19 and I am a freshman in college.