It was early in my NoFap journey when I was reading the non-related experiment that Gary Wilson put on Your Brain On Porn, done by a bunch of psychologists on some children – where they interviewed the children and left them a cookie, and every single one was told, if you could wait until they came back before you ate the cookie they’d would get a second cookie. Of course, with a choice experiment, some ate the cookie and some didn’t and got the second cookie.
10 years later, the psychologists got as many of the children back as they could to do another interview. The children who ate their cookies before the psychologist came back were doing much worse than the children who waited to get a second cookie (No duh!). In fact, the rates of those individuals in trouble with the law was much higher than the national average. For all you parents out there, gently nudge your children to developing patience – just the ability to wait for things, because if you don’t, they are much more likely to go to jail. . .
I recognized something about NoFap from that experiment. Hasn’t porn completely erased patience in our society. When we don’t even have to work for sexual enjoyment, what need do you have to develop perseverance or grit? You don’t need to work on the merit to be in a relationship, if you can sit down with porn. It had erased it from me, not that my upbringing would have helped as a child raised by a low-income single mother. I had problems not eating every single chocolate from an advent calendar every single year.
NoFap is us saying, I can wait. I can have perseverance. I can wait for when I have the two cookies. I’m not just going to instantly take one cookie, I can wait and be much better off. In all my almost 4 years of NoFap, my little relapses have gone away.
So here’s what I’ve learned –
Have patience. Don’t buckle, learn to be strong and overcome the urges you have. Say to yourself, waiting for that second cookie to come to you is better than doing something in this moment. Once you master the urges, you can master the rest of your life. Wait for the second cookie – a good partner that you can spend your life in.
Don’t be offended by morons. Whether Xhamster calls us Neo-Nazi monsters who hate Jews, minorities and are threats to women, don’t get upset. They have had a hay day because people haven’t learned how to wait for the second cookie anymore.
Find your purpose. Mine’s creating a video game company. I don’t care if that’s going to take 2-4 years, it is worth the wait for me to get the second cookie.
I’m in my 40s.
I was actually surfing for porn when google auto completed Your Brain On Porn for me, and then I realized that my depression and my ED was porn related, so I decided to go for it and get rid of it after I watched the great porn experiment.
After a few weeks, I stopped feeling depressed and that life was out of my hands and then I started to take steps forwards, leading to where I am right now 4 years later.
Everything is perspective, if you decide to delay your gratification in everything, it will all turn out for the best. Choosing easy fixes harms you every single time.
LINK – Thoughts from Day 90