The first time I found out about pornography was about the same time I masturbated for the first time. The two were always liked together. Ever since then, I turned from a confident kid into a person filled with guilt, depression, and anxiety. People always invited me to parties and stuff like that, but I was so afraid of being socially active and making a fool of myself. However, I did end up getting a girlfriend my senior year of high school, but whenever we tried to have intercourse, I couldn’t get it up. Every time it happened I immediately thought that watching porn had something to do with it, which I later learned actually happens to many men (porn-induced erectile dysfunction).
I soon found NoFap.com and that many people afflicted by the same problems (like depression and PIED) had incredible results refraining from porn and masturbation! I was at the end of my rope so I thought what the hell and tried it, but did not succeed right away.
It was only when I tried to quit porn and masturbation when I realized how dependent and addicted I was to it. I would only last a day at a time trying to quit, but would relapse at the thought of getting quick relief from my negative outlook on the world. But one day I just looked myself in the mirror and said enough was enough. The urges were really bad the first couple weeks, but I soon realized that these urges were completely normal and that all I had to do was be strong enough to not give in and relapse. Thinking about how I was before I started NoFap kept me going. Now it feels like I’m on top of the world. I like when people list the benefits they get from NoFap so here are mine (and I promise I’m not exaggerating anything):
1. Depression is virtually gone.
2. No more flashbacks of embarrassing things I’ve done in the past.
3. A big reduction in my social anxiety.
4. Looking people in the eye when talking to them is completely natural now and I don’t think about it when I do it.
5. More self-confidence, and I don’t know if it’s because of an increase in pheromones, but women find me and my company more enjoyable.
6. I’m not afraid to tell people what I want or how I feel.
7. Better sleep.
8. Music sounds sooooooo good.
9. Simple pleasures like a cup of coffee are enhanced.
10. Everything in my life just doesn’t seem so bad anymore and I look forward to tomorrow.
I’m seriously convinced my dopamine receptors were incredibly screwed up compared to how I feel now. I feel like I’m dipped in “me” sauce and the world, even how crazy it is right now, is fantastic. I smile more and actually want to talk to people I don’t know! Previous me wouldn’t believe the mindset I have now. It’s almost like with every day I don’t watch porn, I heal my brain back to those great times before masturbation and porn like elementary school where you weren’t afraid to interact with everyone .
However, to get to where I am now, I’m convinced you can’t masturbate even if you cut out porn. I tried that, but my brain always tricked me into watching porn again. I think semen retention (but REAL sex is an exception in my mind) helps rewire/heal your brain faster. Like famous comedian, Theo Von, who is trying to quit, said in one of his podcasts, “I feel like if I injected my cum back into me, I think it would make me feel better.” This is an obvious joke as it is impossible to do that, but I think many of us have thought about how when we cum we feel more weak and tired, like our energy force was drained. Post-nut clarity, as some people describe this, is just a name describing this awful feeling, BUT IT IS NOT CLARITY, its THAT feeling that is the false perception.
I am so thankful for this community and what it stands for. I never thought I would get to 31 days, but here I am… happy as ever! Here’s to many more days porn and masturbation free!