I now have self-control and can trust myself


I’ve been Hard Mode since Thursday 14th September 2017. Benefits for me: improved self-esteem, rarely feel anxiety, much better eye contact, carry myself well standing tall, better image of women as people going through life just like myself, questioning and acting toward improving my life.

I have a clean subconscious, regarding porn at least, tangible in how my dreams have changed over the months and progressed roughly as follows:

  • Searching a porn site and masturbating,
  • Searching a porn site before becoming aware in dream and stopping myself,
  • Having sex with someone,
  • Dreams unrelated to sex – for the most part.
  • (Goal in future is to have a note pad by my bed to jot down dreams before I forget them now that I can get a clean read on my subconscious ramblings).

When still dreaming about porn it was very believable that I had relapsed until waking up and being relieved. Wet dreams can still be semi-regular although I haven’t had one recently for about two weeks, so it will be interesting to see if they become increasingly consistent in future (something I’m going to consciously track to the day from now on for science).

The wet dream side of it is especially interesting for the first-hand experience of the body regulating itself and the psychological side of ejaculating with no physical stimulation – who knew.

My cleaner mindset has improved my interactions with others. In the context of a romantic relationship I’m hopeful this will equate to ‘have better communication & genuine connection with someone, have a meaningful relationship & friendship, have good sex’ – repeat in an ever-improving cycle (maybe a rose-tinted view as I haven’t experienced this fully yet).

Some things I began to improve and want to incorporate more as I continue my journey:

  • Meditate daily,
  • Hold conversations well for both sides adding appropriately and listening skilfully,
  • Have a morning routine that sets myself up the best I can for the rest of the day,
  • Positive dopamine hits over mindless instant gratification i.e. YouTube surfing replaced with organizing what I want to do for the day that can be broken down to 2-minute tasks.
  • To do and want the best for myself.
  • (Could go on but I’ll let you fill in the rest with goals personal to you!)

In conclusion, NoFap has affirmed that I have self-control and I can trust myself. Of the many things I’m not always honest about and overlook, which will be my continuing focus, knowing I will never revert to porn is the closest to an internal peace & absolute truth in my life so far. Porn has no benefit to me or you. Thank you and all the best.

LINK- Day 200! Subconscious Spring Clean (First Post)

By Vesien