Yesterday I reached the 5000 day mark from my last P relapse. That was almost 14 years ago. I’m not posting this to brag, I’m posting this to try to help anyone who might currently be struggling with P.
Don’t ever give up. With the right motivation and the right amount of effort, you can and will overcome P. And life without P is worth the effort required. Life is beautiful again. Life is enjoyable again. The guilt and images of the past have all vanished.
How did I do it?
Answer: hard, uncomfortable, inconvenient work. What do I mean by this?
I attended two separate 12 step groups, saw two therapists, told three people who were close to me (who held me accountable), and went without the internet in my home for a year. Some might consider these extreme measures. I tried everything else, and this combination was the only way I found deliverance.
It was embarrassing having to tell my deepest darkest secrets to those people. It cost me a lot of money going to therapy. It was more than inconvenient going to the library in order to use the internet while I was trying to get my master’s degree. I gave up my free time to go to recovery meetings. I had to humble myself and admit over and over that I needed help. I had to learn how to be an honest person and no longer live a secret life.
Why would anyone put themselves through all of this? Because I had finally had enough of P. It was impacting my relationships and it ruined my self esteem. I finally determined that I was willing to do whatever was necessary. It was hard work.
You are worth every effort.
Your hard work will pay dividends. If you feel stuck, switch things up. Disclose your addiction to real people. Join support groups. Recovery is all about relationships – to stop living a life of isolation and open up to those around you.
You can do it with the right amount of effort. Never give up! Someday you can look back and be glad you chose freedom.
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