First 30 days free in almost 1 1/2 [years]. Guys I was so confident that I was gonna make it through this I actually wrote this on day 22. Facts! A little background on my addiction
Porn for me was an escape from my reality it helped me cope with things I didn’t accept in my life. Also help with stress.
But as with many of us ” escalation” soon took hold I went from vanilla stuff to become addicted to tranny, shemale , crossdressing and gay porn. To the point I would wear my gf pants and PMO. Even going as far as have encounters with other men and Shemales…guys this addiction took my soul.
But NOW I can say I’m free because I see now that I can’t live with this anymore.
90 days is just the start I don’t plan on ever using PMO for my selfish, sick and porn induced Fantasy of escape anymore.
I’m at the point where I don’t even blame porn anymore. Anything done multiple times is no longer a mistake it’s a choice. And I for as long as I live will make those choice to not go back down this path again….now on to my review
These 30 days were actually the hardest.
All the small things about my life i was hiding and running from I how face head on.
My GF, my daughter those two kept me alive emotionally. Their love helped me get through this little do they know. My GF does know about my addiction and how much it took me over . She know how much I used to use it and was very understanding , as she has a lot of guy friends who have unfortunately gone through the same path. I knew I had to change before everything came crashing down.
During these past 30day I had Epiphany after epiphany about my life and where I am today is perfect. Sounds crazy right?! But it is based on what I put myself through I take full responsibility for my actions and can say porn is in my past.
Yes I had urges. Yes in had flatline. Yes I was emotionally sad and felt weak. But I knew feeling all these real human emotions were better than running back to PMO.
One of my tricks to getting this far was to actually read people relapse entries on this sight. They would all talk about how horrible they felt and how much they hated themselves for going back , some of them could only last 1 to 10 days. That motivated. enough to not go back…not go back to that dreadful feeling of self-hate , pain and regret .
Thankfully I never suffered from PIED. My GF is beautiful and amazing, my daughter is my soul.
Building my business is my ambition.
PMO was my dragon to slay…I killed it.
GUYS we can all change we can all get out of this addiction. It was a mentality that brought us down and we must build a NEW mentality to bring us out.
Education is also key. Educate yourself on the brain and how addiction effects it. understood terms like. “Dopamine ” “chaser effect” withdrawal symptoms are a key factor in reading your progress. Read up on other people success stories. And make friends on this site. I wanna thank you all who I have reached out to who have helped me through this time of my life. Thank you to the website for having a safe place for use to build with people who struggle with the same thing.
Change your mind and watch your life change.
I would like to add one other thing I did struggle with as well procrastinating has been killing me their are nights when I know I should be working on .y business and building it but I don’t seem to have the full motivation. I love what I’m building but at the same time the emptiness of not having what unusual have to help me cope with the reality of my life I think it was adding to my sadness. So on nights alone where I would usually PMO I find myself just sitting there not doing anything watching TV or listening to music. MUSUC has helped me so much the past 30day it’s crazy.
Also in have been a lot more social lately I love going out more and more I’m confident great energy and I love talking to beautiful girls and NOT thinking sexual things about them. Funny thing is they are more attractive to me then I am to them I feel like they can feel my energy and confidence.
My goals for the next 60 days is no more protection. My goals are as follows
1.get back to building my business
2.write down my personal, and Financial goals.
3. Plan more social events for friends and family for the summer.
4. spend less time paying attention to my day counter (I feel like I was doing that a lot that past 30days)
5. continue posting here and connecting with other people on the site.
Thanks for reading guys
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