Finally reached day 45 and lasted long in bed – feels like a journey and a half, but equally certainly feels like an achievement. PIED is gradually going away and over the weekend managed to have intimate sex with solid erections. Below are some thoughts on PIED, what helped, as well as current state and going forward:
PIED – the first time having proper sex since PIED kicked in following my last relapse 6 weeks ago. The first time, I came very quickly (talking about within 2 minutes here!). But didn’t feel too conscious about it. GF was very supportive and we just laughed about it. But the VERY SAME night, we went at it again – and boy did we get to it this time solid erection and long lasting love making. Went at it again the next day with confidence, and was certainly back in my game.
- Try to avoid any sort of fantasizing about PMO. These thoughts start to reappear more frequently the longer you abstain, but the key is to try to avoid going down the rabbit hole. This is important to rewire the brain to not go back to PMO for release, but rather rebuild new neural networks to get the fulfillment from real relationships
- Try to get some healthy distractions – like reading, going out with friends, watching some good quality TV (documentaries etc.). This will help for those with OCD who will obsess about relapsing, how long its taking to heal, why am I not progressing etc. etc. Key is to relax, and let the healing process take take its course – but of course this is easier said than done (especially for those who have been trying for some time, be patient and keep going at it).
- Relaxation methods – this certainly helps in healing the PIED. Find techniques to REALLY relax and unwind – anything that works for you (without resorting to alcohol and drugs that is). What needs to be done is to really relax your muscles, lower your blood pressure and remove tension in mind and body. Things that worked for me include warm relaxing bath while listening to my favourite jazz music, watching relaxing travel documentaries while enjoying my favourite food, walks and long naps in nature (or a park) etc. To reiterate – find easy to RELAX. The more frequent you do it, the better in healing PIED.
- Goes without saying – exercise, healthy eating and regular sleep pattern.
- Still experiencing some anxiety, self deprecating thoughts etc. – but think this is part of PAWS which will take some time to properly heal (some research suggests could be up to 6 months or more). But just trying to be more conscious about this to avoid build up of tension and anxiety that will drive me to relapse again.
- Feel exhaustion and some insomnia – also think related to PAWS.
- Urges still appear – especially when triggered by something on the TV or some PMO memories. Trying to avoid all alcohol and drugs for a while, as I feel I’m not really in control of my mind when under the influence.
- Been trying to build a more consistent with meditating, as its been difficult to build a pattern with full time work etc. but will keep going at it as many accounts repeatedly reinforce its importance.
Will keep you guys posted when I hopefully reach 60 days.
Keep going Fapstronauts – to infinity and beyond!
LINK – Day 45 – PIED healing
By – Warlockchieftan
For more recovery stories see this page: Rebooting Accounts.