*note I do talk about spiritual, esoteric concepts and if that isn’t your thing then its best to not continue reading hey, I’m new to Reddit, never posted before but I wanted to share my nofap experience.
I have never been “addicted” to porn, I used to watch it when I was maybe 14 years old because you know, raging with hormones! But it never felt good, I could never actually PMO to it, it always felt way too “heady” so it was never a struggle for me to quit and along with that I started reading on the negative effects of pornography and from then on I gave it up cold turkey, no relapse whatsoever but I still masturbated as usual.
It was only until late exactly 2016 I finally quit masturbating altogether. Prior to this I have experienced abstaining from MO in the past for maybe around 7 days (which was very hard). I relapsed maybe on 2 occasions on accident, edging and eventually reaching PONR (no porn). Then finally on exactly the new year of 2017, I decided to do nofap for a year.
The most difficult time period was 3 months, and from there on it kinda felt the same for me. What I’ve learned with nofap is that usually any unwanted behavior that you try to prevent, in this case, MO begins with a thought. Eventually, I realized how indulging in sexual thoughts will lead to grabbing of the, you know, and then MO pretty soon. So the best long-term prevention of ever relapsing again is becoming highly conscious of your thoughts this is where meditation can help. When any sexual thought comes up, become highly present and allow it to wash over you, it shall soon pass :). Obviously, there are many other good ways to prevent MO; exercising, yoga (very effective at moving prana) walking, being active in general. However, these are merely distractions. The real crux of transmuting this energy comes from becoming conscious of the energy itself, that sacred sexual energy that is emanating from your being. When you learn to see it objectively, rising above it instead of below it, you are now becoming a CONSCIOUS human being, not enslaved by his compulsions.
Before nofap there was a lot of fear of about talking to the opposite sex (I’m a guy) I could never be myself and it wouldn’t ever feel natural. Nofap has removed that barrier greatly, along with breaking out of my shell and socializing. But no fap goes DEEPER. Deeper than what most realize, deeper than just confidence. This sexual energy. Call it libido, horniness, prana or whatever, it is vital life force energy all within us. Whenever we dump this energy towards a sexual fantasy or pornographic video, we are giving away our power, and preventing this energy from transmuting and becoming true love, passion, authenticity, and beauty that we all contain within.
As I notice the more one abstains from MO or PMO the more this energy transmutes and brings out an aspect of the feminine within us. As males, we have too much masculine, too much yang to balance the yin. As seen with the overall lack of love, passion, and heart seen with so many men in today’s society as it has been for centuries. When a man has too much yang he will be controlled by the opposite sex, because he has no feminine within himself he feels completely enthralled by sexual desires, to meet that polar energy which he lacks. A major aspect of myself I have noticed with nofap is this balance between masculine and feminine, most guys I have noticed are so unnatural when they talk to women, no ease, light-heartedness as If they are some type of goal, to have intercourse with. When you lack the feminine within you, it can be overwhelming to feel a feminine presence. Leading to social awkwardness nervousness and inability to have an interaction with another. I know guys who have had sex with many women but are too afraid to even have a one on one conversation with a woman. What does that show? …
When you start seeing the opposite sex for who they are and the beauty of the feminine and not as some type of sexual object or something of a completely different species to you, and also recognizing the feminine within you as expressed as kindness, compassion, joy love, and fear quickly dissolves and freedom is found. Indian yogis call this life force energy kundalini. It is said that if one cultivates this energy and channels it in certain directions it can lead to a kundalini awakening which happened to me after 365days of nofap early 2018. Note that this is not a common experience and can take many years to occur. I have been meditating and doing yoga for nearly 4 years now along with bioenergetics exercises. Now before you brand me as a spiritual quack know that I love science and am a skeptic to many spiritual claims that involve pseudoscience. But I can no longer deny energy and our interconnectedness with the universe as my experiences have rendered these ideas true. I won’t go deep into kundalini awakening but it is basically this energy which is said to be coiled at the base of the spine, and when awakened shoots up the spine and clears the chakra blockages to clear up the channel of energy so we can become one with the universe experientially and energetically. This is why celibacy is so common among yogis, to cultivate this energy.
After 365 days nofap sex and women have become a very small aspect of my life. I have realized how important so many other aspects of life are, such as our spiritual journey, and purpose in life. I have read “The Power of Now” book by Eckhart Tolle twice now and am constantly becoming a better version, and striving for enlightenment. As with many things in life, nofap is just a tool, not a be all or end all approach to upgrade your life. My experiences have been greatly aided by nofap but ultimately it is my focus on improving which has allowed for the fruits of my labor to sweeten.
Happy nofap, hope this is inspiring!
LINK – My 365+ day no fap journey…