My body dysmorphia is not completely “cured”. But I’m surprised with how much my awful perception of self has decreased


Hi, guys. I was off Reddit for a while to gather myself, work on my tasks I needed for midterms/finals week coming up, and just, in general, try to get off on a great foot for some bigger plans I have next year. A lot has happened! It’s been three months. It hasn’t felt like less or more time; it’s just felt like three months exactly.

It’s so much easier than I thought it would be. Once you get past, like, the first month, it really is so, so much easier. I find myself with a much better self-perception, more free time, and a better idea of what my priorities are.

I initially went porn free to try to combat my body dysmorphia, feelings of low self esteem, and sleep issues. My body dysmorphia is not completely “cured”. I still struggle. But I am surprised with how much my awful perception of self has decreased in the past three months.

As for sleep, well, I have found myself studying, cleaning, and working creatively more, so I haven’t really gotten back much more sleep. Maybe about an hour each night. Still, I’d rather have gotten shit done in that time than just watched porn. Tbh.

I hit a stumbling block in February but still found myself able to collect myself and stay on track. I am still, unfortunately, struggling with everything that happened in that god-awful month, but I am much better than I was in February, and I may have gotten stronger (personality-wise) because of it.

Another great thing… Tuesdays are my day off. I used to honestly, just use that time to watch porn or just be self indulgent. Now, every Tuesday, I try to go out. I’ll meet up with a friend, grab a drink at a cafe, or just… go somewhere out of the house to do something. This Tuesday, I drove the two hours to meet up with an old friend. Next Tuesday, I’m seeing Infinity War for the second time (I watch it for the first time on Friday afternoon! Fuck yeah! Thanos is my fav!). In general, it’s great that I’ve now set aside Tuesdays as this special day where I just tell myself that I can go out and do anything. I save up some of my tips over the week, so I have money for a drink, or for gas money to drive out somewhere, or I just scope out something free. My public library is really good. It’s such a nice change. It’s probably my favorite of all the changes, because now, my day off really does feel fun and new.

As a general whole, and a TL;DR: Porn free is great. If anyone is looking to start it, but is wondering how to start: just go cold turkey. Just don’t make excuses. In the first week, don’t give yourself free time, because then you’ll just go mad. The first week or so, just pack up your schedule as MUCH as possible, so you won’t even have to think about it. As the need for porn fades, you can lighten up your load.

LINK – Three Months

by beesandbutterflies