Just wanted to thank this community for providing all the information and resources, I thought I would share our story to encourage others on their journey.
Our relationship started out hot and heavy, like everyone else on /r/Deadbedrooms but then slowly died off after a year. It made no sense, we were in our twenties! everyone over at that sub recommend you leave a low Libido partner especially if you are young, unmarried and have no kids together. but I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel. I loved him and despite this one issue, we have the perfect relationship and I felt like it was worth working on.
We tried everything, therapy, sex therapy, me initiating, nothing worked! We had no communication issues or problems to talk about, sex just wasn’t happening. I talked to a sex therapist and she told me that she honestly deals with the opposite situation where the female is rejecting sex. She asked a few questions like if he still had a morning wood (yes) and narrowed it down to psychological issues not physical (like ED, testosterone, etc.).
I started to put things together in my head and reading a lot of the resources on this Sub, and I realized it all made sense. I never had issues with porn in the past, I mean I enjoyed it myself from time to time. We sat down and talked about all the information I found and he was completely on board. He immediately went porn free and nofap that night. Four weeks in and he has tried to initiate more now than he did in the last year.
I’m just shocked this isn’t talked about more, this has got to be a bigger issue especially with younger couples. I know I’m not the only girl out there dealing with this issue. Girls don’t talk about their boyfriends not wanting them and guys don’t want to talk about not satisfying their girlfriends.. but the more I uncover and talk to my friends all of them have some sort of issue relating to porn. I hope more people can find out about this, especially in the deadbedrooms subs.