I just wanted to write a quick little thing here. I am on day 540 of recovery. And I’m currently on a stressful 2 month long military course .There are times that I don’t notice the changes and the progress I’ve made in my life due to my recovery. But I just wanted to share the extreme changes I’ve been noticing about myself on this course!
The amount of confidence I have in myself Is incredible compared to what it was before. Before I would be dreading getting up each and every day. But now I’m excited and look forward to each day.
I see the bigger picture. And I see that it’s only 2 months and this to shall pass. I’m excited that I’m learning so much. And I realize that challenges and failures are a positive way to learn and progress.
The amount of pride I had in myself after successfully passing a big assessment was crazy. I almost cried of the amount of pride I had in myself.
This…. Is nothing I’ve ever felt in my life. And it’s because of the work I have done in my recovery.
I am so grateful if my life right now and the love and support I’ve had.
I think the confidence has really come from my recovery. And realizing that I’m not a piece of shit. And that I am not helpless.
I understand now that I’m actually a really great person with alot of positive qualities. I understand that yes there are people that will not like me and my personality and that’s ok. I don’t need everyone to like me.
I realize that I am not perfect. I’m human. Humans are not perfect. So I can relax and realize that I don’t need to try and be perfect. Since it’s unnattainable anyways. In fact. Failure can be a positive thing.. it’s the best way to learn lessons.
A typical day has been getting up for 530 breakfast at 6 . Kit and room inspections at 7am. Followed by classes and lectures and rifle lessons all day. Head for supper for 5pm then up until 12-2 am practicing for assessments and handing in assignments.
Before recovery if I were to do this course . I would be dreading getting up everyday . And shaking with anxiety and stress all day hoping not to get yelled at or fuck up. And I would constantly keep telling myself that I’m not good enough and I’m gonna fail .
Now I’m excited to get up. I see this as a challenge. And that I’m learning so much. And it’s amazing to go through those assessments each day knowing I practiced and studied hard the night before.