I completed a 90-day streak last Friday. I thought I would share some thoughts with you to help you on your journey. Sorry for the very long post.
I did nofap two years ago for three months and then PMO’d again. The difference this time is my approach. I learned that dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain, plays a critical role in motivation. Too much dopamine release and your brain will find stuff which require motivation more tedious, like reading, playing music, working, cleaning your home or cooking. Search “improvement pill dopamine” on youtube for more info.
So each week I stopped one dopamine source in my environment. First week, I stopped PMO. The following weeks (I cannot remember the order), I adopted the following rules, one each week:
– no video games
– no alcohol
– no sugar
– no coffee or tea
– 1 movie in each foreign language I know per week, excepted with friends and no stupid videos/gags on the Internet (for me, it was failblog, but for some, it would be 9gag)
– 3 musics a week while I’m alone
I think the impression of constant betterment helped with the extreme difficulty. And also, don’t expect to change every negative aspect of your life all at once. Everybody does it in January, and we know how that works out.
After the superpower period (like one month tops), I felt so shitty ! I felt like I was dead. I cannot remember for how long, maybe one month. And at the beginning, for a long time, I felt horrible rage sometimes. But a rage which is not directed at somebody and has no identifiable source.
My perception of girls evolved immensely. I stopped being obsessed by their body and started to actually feel attraction. I started to acknowledge the true charm that some have. For example, I started to love girls which smile. I am no longer attracted by Instagram/duckface types.
I started going out very often. The fewer “drugs” I had, the more I compensated with social activities. And guess what, it’s awesome !
Then, I felt better and better. At some point, I added the rule :
– one cold shower in the morning.
This one is pretty strong. Of all the other rules, I think it is the one who gave me the more energy and happiness.
Now, the superpowers are back. I have confidence and I walk like I am the king of the sidewalk. I talk to anybody easily. I work and play hard. I am still affected by adversity in life but I accept the pain.
Now for some advice :
– life is more awesome than you can imagine. You will feel again like a child, amazed by everything. You will feel extremely powerful. I actually felt for a time like a god (yes, that is megalomaniac, but it also helped me stay on track).
– you will most probably fail. Then what ? Do you expect everything in your life to be success ? If you do, then you don’t live in the world I live in. Shit happens. We are animals with a fucking stupid brain that does not obey. Accept it. And try again. I failed multiple times before, and may fail again.
– the most important stuff I think to realize, which is more important for me than the content of the rules, is that you need to accept the pain. Especially in the beginning, when you will be depressed, bored or whatever, you will want to find refuge in one of your “drugs”. And it will hurt if you break the habit pattern, like really really hurt. But you will learn, and next time, it will be less horrible as you teach your brain resilience and willpower.
– do not peek, edge or otherwise google girls. Stay away from every possible trigger. It is hard in our society, but, if you look at a suggestive ad or at a suggestive ass, just look down.
I advise doing hard mode for at least three months. I am so selective (and a bad seducer) that I am de facto in hard mode since the beginning. Don’t do it for the girls, do it for you, for your healing.
– do stuff with you body. Going into nofap, I already loved sport. It is a dopamine source which is natural and healthy, and it will help your release the tension arising from your efforts.
One thing I learned is that dance is awesome. I feel like less like a mind and more like a body and mind. Beware though, dancing with a partner might be a trigger. Try to find a dance which is not sexual, like folk dance.
Cooking, repairing stuff, walking in nature are also great things to get you moving.
– stay out of social media. I never had one but I see everybody obsessed over this oversimplified version of life. If you recognize yourself as someone who looks profiles of girls they just met, please stay out of this shit. It is highly addictive and less profitable than real human interaction.
– although I have not yet integrated regular meditation in my life, I can assure you (for having meditated all day at multiple retreats, including a one-month long), that meditation is a sure path to self-control and true happiness.
– nofap reddit is a source of inspiration if you are depressed on your journey.
I hope you do not take this post as bragging. All the benefits mentioned in this post may happen to you, and I wish it from the bottom of my heart. You will certainly adapt it to your life and personality, but, sure thing, you will never go back once you experiment the benefits of nofap/dopamine fast.
LINK – +90 days: my itinerary