Today I realized I have reached the target I set for myself months ago . It’s a 133 days since I started this journey and I have a few things to get off my chest .
1. When I started this journey I was at a point where I didn’t think it was possible by any means to be free from pornography and PMO, I was 15 years deep into this addiction
2. I had began to notice the very signs of PEID and even though I had one or two instances in the past where my penis didn’t come up , I assumed it was probably one of those days. And it wasn’t until November last year that I failed 3 times back to back to back and it shook me to the core .
3. This journey has been hard at times , I’ve fought through some unbearable days , days where my Brian craved at unbearable levels and I managed to come through even with the presence of things that were sooo triggering on the internet. I did this with pure willpower because I was determined to not destroy my relationship with someone whom I met in November and loved very much
4. In this journey so far I masturbated 3 times without the consumption of porn. The first was when I was having phone sex with significant other , the other two times by myself when my libido was insanely high and didn’t have my significant other near me and I also didn’t want to cheat on her. The last two times I also did without consuming or looking at porn , just my hormones and erect penis asking for sex .
5. I went into the gym , exercised a lot and my body became healthy , I didn’t have PEID from the 2nd month but had some anxiety issues with eventually went away . I am at point where I don’t even think about pornography, it doesn’t even matter what I see on the internet no matter how provocative. It almost like my Brain has totally shut it out .
6. I am healthy , my mind is healthy , my penis is healthy. Today I am closing this thread and hoping someone can see this and know that they can fight through this addiction, notwithstanding our journeys are different and might take you a longer time but I can say I am now okay and have zero intentions of going back , sometimes I can’t even believe I was hooked into this stuff in the first place . I may lurk around from time to time but I may not have the energy nor consistency to update this thread so I have decided this might be my last .
On that note , Gentlemen ! I take a bow.