I had had a relationship with a girl in April that was made more difficult by some severe ED I was experiencing. I couldn’t tell what proportion of my problem was psychological, what was health-related and what was PIED.
I got healthy, got my head right, and still had issues. But it was only after I went cold turkey on pornography that my sex drive started to come back in a big way. It is without question the biggest factor in my recovery.
Well yesterday, she and I had sex again and this time I was totally the way I used to be. It was amazing, all the problems I had been having disappeared.
I can’t express how happy I am. All this effort finally paid off, and giving up porn feels like by far the biggest factor in that.
Just want to share my happiness with you guys and let you know that success is possible.
LINK – Success Is Possible
3 MONTHS EARLIER
A few weeks ago I went completely cold turkey. No more masturbation at all.
It all started when I had a few instances of inability to perform with three different women in January who were completely different from one another in appearance, personality and sexual behavior, which helped make clear that the problem was 100% with me. I had been binging on porn and drugs and was totally sexually useless except for one of the girls who was patient and kind enough to let me compensate in other ways. It was so embarrassing and awful, especially three times in a row, that I just decided to totally change my lifestyle to minimize the chance of it happening again.
Started weightlifting and swimming laps at the gym on alternating days, cooking more, eating better, minimizing social media and concentrating on finishing the books I was reading. These definitely have helped, although they’re not the whole picture.
For the first few weeks I edged to sex memories, and then had another experience of inability to perform with a new person, at which point I cut out edging too. Also started taking vitamins, drinking more water and having cool-to-cold showers.
For the last four weeks I have been totally cold turkey masturbating and combined with the above lifestyle changes I have noticed some really interesting side effects:
- Firstly, a huge feeling of confidence that kicks in around day 4 or 5. Having self-control makes you feel like you’re in charge of yourself and way more “solid” in your decisions and interactions with others.
- I’ve found myself becoming much less talkative but more purposeful with my words.
- I also feel less needy and “thirsty” when interacting with women, and this has definitely improved my feelings of self-worth. Before this, I was getting laid but felt like I wasn’t really respected by my sexual partners and was viewed as kind of a joke by most of them.
But also(!) I have noticed that sex is much better. My sensitivity has improved, and I can finally enjoy missionary position. Also, I can stay hard for longer and have less of a stop-start quality to my sexual experiences. I do still have some issues with sensitivity when wearing condoms but I think it’s improving. My hope is that by going completely cold turkey and not edging at all my sensitivity will increase to the point where condom sex will feel as good as condomless sex.
Anyway, I want to thank this subreddit for helping me make it this far. I don’t think refraining from masturbation is a cure-all for sexual dysfunction, but it is a piece of the puzzle and I can see the benefits firsthand.