Tips for partnered sex while healing from PIED

I started my pornfree journey since last October, because I broke up with my ex at last summer. I thought that now or never. I had relapses all the way through. Last month I just watched porn once, for 40 minutes. But I’ve seen huge improvements through six months, even with relapses. This month been the best so far. So remember if you relapse, it’s not killing your progress, as long as you cut off the porn quickly and understand what you just did there. Do not PMO.

What gives me an opportunity is new girlfriend. So I can focus on her to get my PIED eventually healed. So if you have a partner, you stop watching porn and focus on her. It’s simple.

I had my first “porn watching dream” last night and I was extremely horny. I felt the dopamine going through in that dream, it felt real. I felt BAD in the dream because I watched porn. At morning I just laughed at my brains, bring it on! And then had awesome sex with my girlfriend. Just focusing on her. I had a moment where I thought of my dream, but it’s not bothering me.

Now if you just began pornfree journey with your girlfriend, you will probably have this flatline stage. You basically can’t do anything besides understand your mind is going through reset and live as normal as you can. After that becomes PIED, where the real healing begins (if you have flatline, do these things anyway):

  1. Exercise. Go to gym, run outside, walk in the forest. Whatever gives your body dopamine/positive feelings.

  2. Eat fresh, clean, healthy food. Cut all the cr*p. Do not eat processed food. Eat a lot of garlic. If you don’t know whats healthy fresh food, then google will tell you.

  3. Get some supplements: L-arginine, D-vitamin, multivitamin, omega-3, magnesium

  4. Do whatever makes you happy / start a new thing: play games, play guitar, read books, socialize, see friends.

  5. Take cold showers, have deep breaths, meditate/focus in the moment. I bolded these because they had such huge impact on me when I could not relax and also sleeping much better + able to focus better during sex.

  6. Try to be positive even though it might be difficult. Say something positive every morning.

  7. Don’t touch your penis. I’ve told my girlfriend that I will not touch my penis. Shes only allowed to touch it and I am only allowed to orgasm during sex (without my hand). We thought of karezza and will try it.

Here are three very important things you will notice through the process:

  1. You will no longer be “super horny” all the time as “high speed internet porn” provided. Your penis will be in a “standby mode” or “readiness state” and you will slowly gain control of it. Lets say, you “allow” yourself to get horny with girls. It’s not happening through porn anymore. But at the beginning of PIED, it might feel like that it’s not possible but trust me, IT GETS BETTER.-> Focus on girl/her, feel her touch, feel that warm presence, touch her, smell her. You are reconnecting with a real human person. You focus and let yourself get horny.

  2. Penis might look bigger when resting (even in erection). It feels like my penis is all the time a little bit of awake, no longer being “depressed” by porn or masturbating.

  3. Morning erections will be gone. And it is completely normal. I didn’t have morning erections for few weeks now but I am trusting they will come back in time.

I am still having these days where my boner just completely dies during sex, because my focus is lost and it sucks, but we talked through these things and it’s okay.

But then I have these days and moments where I feel so horny with her and sex feels hundred times better than porn. THATS THE GOAL. It keeps me going.

You need to cut the porn and make the connection with your partner. You will get there. It will get better. Just trust the process.

Unfortunately. I can’t say good tips if you are single. But as long as you don’t PMO and let your penis and mind get healed, I see no problems to get horny with real woman again.

LINK – Tips for PIED with a partner (and generally for pornfree path)

by Leilebule