Yesterday I went to a party on which I knew only 1 person. Some random situations that happened put into text:
- Able to add a comment in the middle of a conversation with like 10 strangers directly looking at me and looking them in the eyes as I was telling my story. I could feel they were enjoying the way I talked and they didn’t take the eyes off me(I noticed 1 girl even kept staring at me like deamdreaming after I finished talking). Usually I would be silent and try to talk to the person just besides me if anything, “to not be found as the weirdo I am”.
- Able to have a conversation with a girl like I was talking to one of my mates. Usually I would feel pressured to have sex or to be liked by every woman I meet in my life. They are just persons with whom I can connect based on interests and chemistry, just like I do with other men.
- No more thoughts of “Am I ruining the party for everyone? I think they dont like me. I’m sure they all think I am weird. I should leave” when there is a silence in the conversation or when people stop laughing for some minutes or something like this.
- Way less selfconcious about my looks. I take care of myself and try to improve myself every day but I care way less about that small stupid belly fat that is so hard to get rid of. Usually the thought of someone thinking I am not fit would stay in my head for hours, increasing my anxiety.
- I thought a couple of girls were really good looking and interesting. I discovered later the boyfriends were there. My good mood did not change. Usually I would immediately start comparing myself to their boyfriends, usually to my detriment, leading to more depressive thoughts. Or I would think I was better than them and then the feeling would be anger (“why is she with him and not with me?”)
These are just some situations from yesterday’s night worth mentioning for someone struggling with anxiety, depression, etc. But my biggest one and the one I like the most is being able to share the happiness of the people around me, old friends and new connections. I have not found love yet but I am happy when I meet happy couples, I am not rich but I am happy when I meet people with money, I don’t have many friends but I am happy for those who have lots, this could go on forever.
NoFap is real, you will be a healthier person mentally and physically. And humans are naturally inclined to like the healthiest even if they don’t understand why they like you within the first 5 minutes of knowing each other. Keep at it and you will find friends, love and all the good things that come from honest cooperation with your fellow humans.
A hug to all of you, stay strong, you can do it.
I did [NoFap] mainly for social anxiety and also to have more energy, which I do.