Why is my sex drive so much higher than my friends’/mate’s? It’s confusing to sort out true libido (the “urge to merge”) from addictive cravings (“I must get off or die”). The latter is not the same as the former. “Libido” refers to desire for sex with a partner when in the presence of a potential partner. Today’s overstimulation is leaving many porn users with a constant itch to get off, but little desire for a real partner. Result? Way more orgasms…but less satisfaction and much more sexual frustration.
See: Studies linking porn use or porn/sex addiction to sexual dysfunctions, lower brain activation to sexual stimuli, and lower sexual satisfaction
Here’s what one forum member said:
If there is one thing I have discovered, it’s my sex drive is not as strong as I thought it was. I have not flatlined, but I am very easily able to control my urges. This is probably due in part to my age (47). Still, I used to wonder why my sex drive didn’t decline like other guys my age. I even went to the doctor once to see if she could give me something to decrease my sex drive. My wife likes sex 3 or 4 times a month which is normal. I wanted sex 3 or 4 times a day.
I think I was / am addicted to the orgasm more than to the porn. I know the two go hand in hand, but I don’t seem to have any problem living without the porn. My biggest problem was the death grip. To make myself orgasm during masturbation I had to grip harder and harder. However, the harder you grip, the more you kill the sensation the longer it takes to O. It’s a vicious circle which leads to a bad case of delayed ejaculation. I find that woman are not very fond of being pounded for an hour while being sweated on. Especially if the end goal is never achieved.
I always thought I had to keep myself beat down so I didn’t go crazy for sex. Not true. As I have discovered, my crazy libido levels off and actually decreases when I am consistent in avoiding masturbation/porn (now at 25 days).
Sex is SO, SO, SO much better when enjoyed with someone you love, and not sitting by yourself on the toilet or sitting in front of a computer screen.
Another guy:
It’s been a hell of a ride but I can now safely say the urges to masturbate to porn (a life long habit/addiction), have subsided greatly and without doubt I have more energy and ‘life’ in my life. And the efforts are REALLY WORTH IT – ALL OF IT!
Often a partner can tell you’re out of balance and that there’s nothing to be gained from helping you dig your hole deeper. But since no one has understood the reality of (and science behind) the chaser effect, this syndrome just left partners out of sync – with one feeling unloved and the other feeling unloving. Needless to say, it’s not always the man who is feeling horny and needy.
The good news is that partners often love each other more than it seems. They would like to accommodate each other. Just know that the “neurochemical black hole” behind cravings can never be filled – no matter how willing a partner. At the same time, sexual intimacy is a great idea. Think about experimenting with daily bonding behaviors, but less frequent orgasm.
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