Rebooting with a partner: What about sex?

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Overcoming porn addiction with a partner Also see

"How will sex affect my recovery?" This is the most difficult question we get asked. We don't have a pat answer. It depends on your individual brain, how far along you are, and whether you have ED. If it's too soon, orgasm with a partner can set you back, or throw you into a relapse.

See this rebooting account: Age 21 - Sex with girlfriend may have slowed reboot (ED). Another young guy's experience:

The connection between fapping to porn and getting social anxiety is puzzling to me, too. I don't think it'll be totally clear what's really going on until people do studies on this thing, which may be a few years because high speed internet porn is such a new thing, our generation of men (I'm 20 years old so same generation) is the first generation to really suffer from this. No one really could have seen it coming. Anyway I've had a very similar experience to you, the social anxiety is greatly diminished when you go a number of days without PMO, then as soon as you do you can sense in your interactions with people that you are less sharp, less charismatic, less confident, more loopy, etc.

My life is scores better since I started nofap, but it's by no means perfect. On one of my streaks where I was at like 13 days, a girl I worked with started hitting on me at work and we ended up hooking up and we started dating. I've been with her a few months now. Rebooting with a girlfriend is really hard, so if you start getting with girls a lot due to the regained confidence, just be really smart about how you handle it. If you start having sex too often, your brain will begin to crave that dopamine high again and you'll start feeling like you need to fap again. At least that's my experience. My girlfriend and I started having sex like every day, multiple times a day, after I had already put in a solid 3 or 4 months of slowly waning myself off of that constant, daily fapping regimine that I had going since I was like 12. Well, while switching to sex with a real girlfriend helps the social anxiety a little bit, it doesn't help as much as complete hard mode, and for me, when I have sex with her too much, I start thinking unhealthy sexually. I started pressuring her to let me film us having sex, which almost led to her breaking up with me.

So I guess the reason I'm sharing this is because you're probably going to end up having sex if you keep going strong with your streak, because us sexy men are just irresistible when we're not fapping all the time :p , but just be aware ahead of time that going from PMO to sex is complicated! In terms of the social anxiety, what I've noticed, in case you're wondering, is that, if you're having sex a lot, some of the symptoms remain, some are diminished and others are not there at all. For me, I still sometimes feel awkward in social situations if I had sex with my girlfriend like three times the day before. But it's not nearly as bad as it was when I was fapping, like I can look people in the eyes, and I can speak and smile and be somewhat casual without feeling like the whole thing is forced. There are less physical symptoms, (rapid heart beat, sweating, etc.) But there's still the negative self talk, and you aren't going to be as charming as if you'd gone 7 days without busting a nut at all. Hope this was helpful info.

If you have porn-induced ED, your brain is saying it has had enough orgasms for awhile. Listen to your body (brain). If you have ED, attempting to force an erection with fantasy or other methods is counterproductive to your recovery. If you do not have porn-induced sexual problems, read the rebooting stories and chart your own course.

KEY POINT: Having orgasms or trying to force erections may be counterproductive, but kissing, touching, and fooling around, can help rewire your brain to the real thing. Keep in mind, artificial stimuli through screens caused your addiction or ED, not human contact. You not only need to weaken your porn neural pathways, you need to strengthen you "real thing" pathways. During their reboots, some guys have good success with an ancient technique that calls for frequent intimacy without going for climax. (A guy who fooled around during his reboot - Age 30 - ED & girlfriend: 52 days we reached our goals)

A husband recovering from porn-induced ED said:

Early in the rebooting process I think that sex with the wife set back my progress a bit. However I feel that at a certain point in the reboot (individual for everyone, I'm sure) 'relaxed, no-pressure sex' with your partner (with or without orgasm) becomes of therapeutic benefit. It seems that for me the sex is helping to reprogram the healthy, normal and natural pleasure pathway that was lost to me. The more times I can achieve and maintain an erection through just caressing and holding my wife the fainter the voice of doubt in the back of my head gets and the more immediate and impressive my body's response is.

When men first learn that their ED is caused by porn use, they tend to become quite enthusiastic about stopping all porn, masturbation, and orgasm. Some succeed, but most relapse a few times, or add in occasional masturbation or sex with a partner. The challenging thing about a relapse before you're rebooted is that it can kick in the "chaser effect" over the next couple of days. Knowing about this can save you a binge, when strong urges hit you out of "nowhere" after a climax.

Here's another husband, age 50:

I only ever became interested in NoFap due to PMO-ED; not for moral or religious or any other reasons. So please take that into consideration when reading my response because my goals are no more lofty than to be able to penetrate my SO to mutual orgasm consistently and reliably:

After doing this nearly 5 months I've finally learned that the way my sexual gratification system is broken is that I get GREAT bursts of dopamine from just about everything even remotely sexual...other than sex with a real woman. (Yes, very sad, I know.)

I'm also in a 25+ year LTR and monogamous.

Beating off to anything, including thoughts about her: erection so hard the skin feels like it's going to break, 12-15 contractions, mess on my chest.

Sex with her: meh... if I've derived any kind of sexual gratification in the last 7 days...most especially if that gratification has come at my own hand... but if I can manage to NOT seek sexual gratification in any way for a week and MOST ESPECIALLY at my own hand...then... sex with her is fantastic! Still not as exciting, hard, or exploding as masturbation, but very possible and enjoyable nonetheless.

I know I've arrived at this sad place ONLY because of the ability to super-stimulate via type porn sites; but at this point for me it is not only porn... I've learned to get my 'jollies' from beating off; and sadly, I can excite me and make myself cum, but she can't unless I act as below.

So the thing is, my reboot is taking forever because I want to have those skin-stretching-15-contraction-rocket-propelling-orgasms but every time I mess up and fap I can't perform with her. (And I realize that when I really sit back and evaluate my life, I would rather share my sex with her than hide it in the bathroom.)

So for me, sex during my reboot is a good thing. It doesn't hurt me at all. (I used to think it did, and I have posted here as such.) But what I didn't realize was it was all the other things I was doing that were messing me up.

As long as my ONLY source of sexual gratification is actually doing things with her...AND...on a schedule my body can handle (which for me is right now once per week)... sex with her helps, not hurts... but ANY other form of sexual pleasure (even just a quick rub or fantasy that leads to nothing) hurts.

On the other hand, if you're back in balance, but not experiencing a lot of spontaneous erections, sex with a partner will show you that you are, in fact, back to normal. For example, here's what one guy said:

"Spontaneous erections might be a sign, but I'm not sure if they are a real sign. You don't have to walk around with a boner in order to feel things will work out. Last week, for example, I hadn't seen my girlfriend for a couple of days. I had no spontaneous erections during that time. Given my old troubles, I even worried a bit... Was I losing it again? But when I saw her everything was just fine. Her touch and smell totally turned me on and the penis worked. So things will work out, when your brain is in balance, even if you don't have a constant boner (spontaneous erections)."

Another guy:

"One part of this rebooting process which I really don't like is that one day you can feel like a 16-year old, and the next like a passionless 80-year old. Going through that with a partner can be tricky. You both need a lot of faith that the reboot healing process is working. She's great and said sex will happen eventually. Whether that is now or when I come back in a month, it's not a problem. That's such a comforting thing to hear, and totally takes the pressure off."

Another forum member:

I also think it's easier to reboot with a mate / wife but you have to involve her. You have to tell her about what's your problem and what you are doing at the moment.

I showed my wife the videos on YBOP and lucky me, she understood everything and wasn't angry or anything.

Here's a clever idea: The One-Way Street Method

This guy is rebooting with his girlfriend. His rules are that he can arouse her, but she may not touch his penis until he decides his reboot is complete. She has been pretty conscientious about it, but not totally consistent.

First off on Thursday night (Day 52) I stayed over at Rachel's house. We did the usual thing of cooking at eating together which was really nice and then we watched a film. We went to bed after the film. I went up first whilst she was sorting out the cat and brushed my teeth etc and got ready for bed, and then just lay there under the covers. She finished up in the bathroom and then came into the bedroom. We chatted as she got undressed and then she jumped on me once she got as far as her underwear. It was a very nice looking matching set. She went on top and we kissed, cuddled and caressed etc with the duvet separating us. Then she got into the bed and things went a little further.

Anyway, for the first 10 minutes when she was on top of me and we were holding each other close, I was rock hard. I got hard when she got into bed and then it gradually faded as I began to pleasure her. Then my attention was on her and making her feel good. It is quite one sided but then it's going to be as she isn't allowed to touch me. Back on day 17 when she did last touch me it was one sided but toward me, so I guess it balances out. It was nice but that kind of stuff is off limits for the next 21 days.

It's good because I haven't tested myself without any MO in anyway and I haven't been feeling hugely sexual during the reboot, but I think that is down to the fact that I am taking it so seriously and want to do well and so I have been shunning all things sexual, including Rachel. We are still naked together but because she isn't allowed to do anything to arouse me or touch me etc, I have remained flaccid throughout most of our bedroom activities in the last 54 days. But on Thursday night I got a glimpse of easily I respond when she does do something to arouse me.

I must admit I didn't touch my penis with my hand, but it certainly felt firm, it stayed firm for 10 minutes and all it took was kissing, cuddling and light touching. No heavy, direct, manual stimulation, no dirty talk, no having to look at Rachel's ass, no swapping positions or trying to force anything. It was just like my brain tuned in and BAM, I was turned on. It certainly bodes well for the future

The following is a pep talk to a fellow site member just beginning the rebooting process - from a recovering guy whose porn had led to weak erections during lovemaking

"It is a hard place to get out of, but it is entirely possible. I have found that over the past several months of re-wiring my brain, that porn was just an outlet for fear—and unfortunately also a charging point for that fear. I was able to give up visual stimulation and the urge to jerk off constantly to it pretty easily, because I am lucky enough to have the unconditional love of an amazing woman.

The healing process has only really been marred by the lingering fear: performance anxiety, rejection, loss. These are fading into the background now, and I am feeling much healthier and happier.

The recovery pendulum was a bit disconcerting as I am with the absolute love of my life. Feeling (libido-wise) better one day and worse the next was a very harrowing experience. I've sobbed like a baby and had days where I was so subjectively upset with myself that castration almost seemed a good idea.

I've also had hour or so-long love making sessions with my fiancee—with energy running through me like I was being charged with the full energy of the stars.

The process has been frustrating and amazing. I can imagine going through this alone as being both better—and worse. I felt ashamed for even bringing my porn addiction into our relationship. That shame was also hindering my recovery. Without my fiancee I can't say i would have had as much residual fear about this process.

At the same time, however, without my fiancee I may not have been led to this healing path. I also wouldn't have had anyone to cry my little eyes out too, or express my fears and concerns to while having someone there to be supportive of my transformation. I am incredibly lucky and overjoyed to be with someone while going through this.

It has been very hard for her, and we have had had moments of doubt and fear arise between us. For all I'm learning about myself, she is also learning about herself. It's no Sunday picnic but it is all worth it.

I can't imagine undergoing this process and inviting a new person into my life however. My fiancee actually pointed me to the key insights for healing. Had she come into my life while I was undergoing this change of brain chemistry and circuitry, and not been 'in the know,' I can see it might have been too hard for a new lover to understand.

But no matter what, with or without someone special in your life, rebooting is something that can only yield beautiful results. You've made the right step and your recovery into a healthy perspective is just around the bend.

Your boot camp analogy is perfect. This process is much like a rigorous exercise that we as p/m/o addicts have wanted to do but never had the balls, so to speak."

Comments of this same man's fiancee a few months later:

"D's healing process has been a miraculous adventure, and I really should say "our" healing process, because being with a recovering porn addict is definitely a dual endeavor when it comes to healing. As any woman might suspect, it can potentially activate some blind spots when it comes to insecurity on the woman's part as well as the man's. Facing these fears head on AS THEY COME UP is key, and I cannot overstate how important this is.

It is difficult for us both to remain objective, to not take things personally, to not become paranoid/critical/and unknowingly engage in an age old separating mechanism, etc...(you know, the usual.)

But loving physical contact during said communication is doubly important. If you find yourself in a heated argument, no matter how much you may despise each other in that moment, it is absolutely imperative that each of you shut the hell up and receive 150 ccs of snuggles before you continue the conversation again, in a calm, rational, loving and respectful manner.

I also came up with an idea for red alert moments in lover's spats that involves momentarily separating into two different rooms, (preferably with a door between you to heighten the feeling of "space" without actually ditching each other) and each party does a headstand, and then returns to the scene of the crime.

For those of you men out there who fear you have killed your penis for good via furious masturbation? Fear not. It really does come back. Good god does it come back. He swears that I "made his penis bigger or something," and yes, it is a massive and pulsating wonder. As flattering as it is to hear him say it is my doing, it is simply a product of a healthy sexuality and heightened sensitivity.

Speaking of sensitivity, I am going to make a disclosure on his part, because it was kind of a milestone in his recovery process in it's own right: A week or so ago, we were, you know, making out, and um...he came in his pants. It was actually kind of beautiful in and of itself. What that showed is that IT"S WORKING. His brain has successfully rewired certain circuits and increased the amount of receptors available to receive the neurochemicals floating around in there.

I mean, we KNEW it was working, and it wasn't like we needed that to happen to recognize that making love to each other has become exceedingly more and more amazing, but it was definitive solid evidence that very profound changes had occurred in his brain. Years of damage have been reversed. It was proof. A moment of reckoning. Something clicked and we both understood: "Holy shit. It's healed. Something's really happening here."

All of you recovering porn addicts out there should take note of the fact that he has gone through his entire recovery process with me, within a loving relationship. Do not be afraid to enter one, there is no better time than now. Be brave. It's worth every second of awkward vulnerability you will feel. :-) Absolutely beautiful."

A guy said:

I actually continued to see a girl for a couple months after that. We had fun, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, all the great stuff. But this was smack dab in the middle of my flatline, and thus not many erections came and often not strong. Long story short, we never had sex and aren't seeing each other anymore, but it helped to have someone there. Honestly though, IMO the reboot is easier by yourself to an extent. Since we stopped dating, I don't feel any pressure to have a quick reboot, been more relaxed about it, and I virtually hadn't been single for almost 4 years so it took some getting used to but it's nice, although I'd like to find a girl soon to start dating and get to know.

For this guy, the relationship was a problem:

I had a serious girlfriend (a very sexually active one, ha) for the first 5 months of my NoFapistry. This greatly hurt my recovery. She was okay with us avoiding sex, but she would always walk around the apartment naked, would want to take showers with me, and was generally just turning me on without meaning to. Which would've been great, if my dick wasn't a dickhead. She'd turn me on, then I'd try to have sex, go limp, and I'd feel like I was starting from square one again. And when I did get it up, I'd find myself THINKING about sex, to get off, rather than focusing on the sex I was having. It was just a very difficult situation to overcome. For me, and the type of personality I am, this challenge is something that I have do on my on, and isolate myself, to some degree, in order to succeed.

Another guy said:

I don't know if I'm quite back to 100%, but if it's not 100% then its somewhere in the 90% percentile. Guys be patient and strong, the reboot works!!! Friday will be 8 weeks for me. Don't know if that's what it will be for everyone but I went through the whole dead dick period and everything. During the process I had sex about 3 times. The 1st time being after the 4th week. Don't take my word for it but I don't believe intercourse slows down the process after a certain point. The next days after the sex sometimes my dick felt like it had gotten even better. Once again that's just me can't speak for others.

I went the whole 8 weeks with no PMO. NO relapses. My only orgasms were from sex. Like I said don't know if I'm quite 100% yet, but this shit is GREAT!!!! I'm actually glad I went through this although it was hard. It freed me from porn and now I have an even higher appreciation for my penis and my erections. I love my penis like it was a person, maybe more lol!!!! I had to post this to give the guys going through it some hope!!!


I'm in the same situation that you are/were. Do you think the sex you had with your fiancee delayed your full recovery? Sometimes I fear that. Sometimes I wonder how can something so beautiful turn out to be harmful...

What did you do, exactly? Just stopping masturbating and quitting all the porn?


at this link:

Affectionate contact with a trusted companion is really healthy and good for you. It's the neurochemical joy ride triggered by orgasm (or after getting too close) that is sometimes problematic during rebooting. So, if you're noticing a "chaser effect" after sex, maybe keep your climaxes to a minimum and emphasize other kinds of affection. See "The Lazy Way to Stay in Love"

Chaser effect article:

You'll find the right balance eventually.

It is definitely possible for someone who was a virgin porn user for so long (age 13-21 for me) to completely reboot. It is definitely possible to reboot while refraining from masturbation but still having sex with a partner... though I would advise limiting your ejaculations when you do.

I couldn't have a responsive erection until I was almost 22... which is hard for me to believe now! Now I feel more like I felt at age 13—nervous that I was going to get an erection if I touched a girl. All it takes now is a little brush of my wife's hair. And it keeps getting better and easier the more I refrain from ejaculations. At this rate, I suspect that I will reach my full potency around 30, which is really much more useful than hitting it at 17!

As far as whether or not you can reboot while in a relationship.... I would say that largely depends on your partner—how understanding/nurturing/communicative she is.

I am 25 and i am in a reboot, i am in love with a girl, and i love her very mch, i am in a reboot process, a short summary,

I gave up PMO on 1st May 2013 and its till continued, ( actually i have started my journey back in September last year--- its was the month of realization of unable to have sex because of Porn Addiction, so the fight continued, with relapses and somtimes 2 months of straight and absolutey NO PMO) now tht i am with her, it was twice a intimate encounter with her, we both were clothes-on, i did get erection with touches and cuddling....but after some time when we had sex like movemnts i bursted in my pant Its (not the Quick Ejaculation aftre some time i ejaculated), we still were in clothes she too was satisfied, as she said this to me,i was stimulating her vagina by my rubbing my penis,we started making the movements you'd have while having sex, she was on a night dress, aftr few mins i was unable to control my self and i Orgasmd and she too, just by rubbing each other-- this happend twice( I didnt tell her tht i bursted in pant)...I got erection but was not as hard as i get in the morning--morning woods, (now more often) these days. She doesn't know anything abt my ED yet as its new relationship.....I am about to tell her my story, , its still we are not into the real sex yet, it was twice v encountered....

My question is

1. Will it slow down my recovery, am i forcing my erections?
2. Sould i climax everytime or should i hold back my ejaculation?
3. Should i just opt for Cuddling, hugging and kissing, rather than opting for heavy stuff that results in orgasm and climax?
4. Or should i stop this, and just continue my rebooting with Cuddling, hugging and kissing,feeling each other energy?

. I have that pressure too, of ED, when i am with her....

I am happy that somethings have changed, something is happening down there....please reply, eagerly waiting


What about not trying to ejaculate, but also not avoiding affectionate contact? The contact is good. Ejaculations that are "forced" seem to set people back more than those that "just happen." However, watch your mood and sensitivity over the following days. If you notice cravings for porn, or, paradoxially, a drop in attraction to her...then you are ejaculating too frequently for where you are right now in your recovery. See Men: Does Frequent Ejaculation Cause a Hangover?

Maybe it's time to talk to her about what's going on so you can enlist her cooperation. See What do I tell my girlfriend?

She might also find this helpful: Boyfriend Quitting Porn? 5 Tips

Hope this helps. There are no easy answers because everyone's brain and situation is slightly different.

i appreciate.....thanks for ur help


This is very inspiring, thanks for sharing!

Man the fact that I can get a semi erection and have sex which I have, is great. But I'm ready for that 100% rock hard dick again so i can really pound. I miss it!!!!! Whats the waiting period between the semi and full erection. I'm goin on 8 weeks of no PMO. 6 weeks of no MO. and 2 weeks of no O lol. I know funny. I've had sex twice during this rebooting period, both in the last couple weeks. Someone please reply.

This FAQ addresses this question.

As you will read there, and in the many recovery accounts, it can take 120 days, or longer.
How old are you? When did you start porn?

Men who started Internet porn early usually take the longest to recover.

I'm new to this site, but am so glad I came across it. I always suspected that porn was the source of my ED and accidentally came across it just recently during the middle of a reboot that was just of my own accord, but at the time I just cut P but was still MO.

I'm on day 47 of no P, day 16 of no M and only O through intercourse. However I'm still having ED issues...i can only achieve a partial erection and thats with unprotected sex with my gf of 1 1/2 months...could it be because I just started the no M?

I havent had any desire whatsoever to look at porn (but in previous times of quitting I did). We dirty text each other and she'll send me pics of this ok? I dont fantasize about sex...but I have been stroking my penis in a slow fashion just till it gets erect but not to O just to this ok?

I've read through some accounts but just wondering if this is normal...I'm 24, started habitually looking at porn at 18...had problems at 21 with my second sexual partner and have been like that since...

Have you read everything under the porn & ED tab? Avoiding masturbation and orgasm is usually needed to overcome ED. Most guys say to avoid stimulation at first. The dirty pics and texting may be a problem, but I can't say. It's artificial - which is what you want to avoid.

Read this reboot - Age 21 - Sex with girlfriend may have slowed reboot (ED)

Contact and fooling around, and lots of snuggling is great, hot sex  and orgasm may not be - at least for now.

thank you for the reply. I thought I had read that one, but I guess not. Today will mark my first day of absolutely no PMO. Where are these blogs being posted?


From what I have read on YBOP and yourbrainrebalanced, sex during reboot can potentially help your reboot, as long as you do not: fantasize, manually stimulate your penis or otherwise try to force an erection.

If you are going to reboot, the advice seems to be "slow gentle intercourse" or "Karezza".

I am now in a relationship, and I have had lots of wild and hard sex, with out manual stimulation or fantasy. I haven't tried to force an erection in any way, but I have started sex many times without a full erection, where my penis has become more erect during the act - due to the act itself it seems.

My question is: Will this kind of sex that i have had(regular/hard/wild sex without without orgasm, ejaculation, fantasy or manual stimualtion) slow my reboot or in any other way hinder it as long as i do not orgasm or ejaculate?
I am unable to ejaculate with out masturbating, I have only ejaculated once during my entire life - that's when i lost my virginity to a prostitute.

I don't really if it is a chaser effect that i get from doing this cos i do have sex multiple times, but i don't feel the way i did when i MO'ed doing my reboot(this felt sort of like binging on porn and i kept masturbating - or wanted to. I don't feel especially horny with her I just want to fuck her all the time and i try to wether I'm conscious about it or not).
I don't feel the like masturbating or getting an orgasm after I have been with her.

In which way is a chaser effect harmful to rebooting?
I understand that fantasy, masturbation, orgasm and porn is bad, but I can't see why the chaser effect itself should be harmful if it do not lead to any sort of PMO or fantasy.

I do some times get quick flashes of her naked body after leaving her after sex, but this is only short flashes in my mind and it's not from porn.

Can those flashes be a bad thing?

-I guess, other than no porn/pornfantasy. Sorry, but I don't give advice on what to do sexually. good luck

I tried every possible combination over the course of about 9 months (porn but no masturbation, masturbation but no porn, masturbation without orgasm...etc.) I seriously think I tried EVERYTHING to try and retain some of my old addiction. Every single one of them failed. The only thing I have found to absolutely work, so far, is abstaining from all of them for an extended period of time - enough for your brain to re-wire itself.

After that, I have heard many men speak of going back to masturbation ONLY (no porn) and managing OK with that. The porn, as far as I can tell, is really the key thing to stay away from after the reboot period has ended.

I'll also add that I have continued having regular sex with my wife during the reboot period, and that although I believe this may have SLOWED the reboot somewhat, it does NOT prevent the healing process from occurring. Hope that helps!

"You not only need to weaken your porn neural pathways, you need to strengthen you "real thing" pathways." It would seem obvious that performance would not be possible with a girlfriend unless it were only cuddling or giving her pleasure However, would the reboot and rewiring help if human contact were also strippers?

I'm not sure what type of rewiring you mean - watching strippers? Having a lap-dance? Paying for sex?

Will any of the above train your brain to another form of artificial stimulation? I don't know.


Thank you for your very informative website!

In my younger days I struggled a lot with PMO, this went on for around 7 years! Now I have pretty much given up the P, but every month or so I will look at nude pictures of women - nothing more than this... but this also makes me feel down and I want to quit. I am in a LTR, and do not want PMO to ruin this.

I have a question. Me and my partner are NOT currently having sex, and we will not until our marriage in July (Faith reasons).

However, we do still touch and bring each other to orgasm through masturbation... is this a problem? I don't Masturbate on my own, but only when my partner does it for me... will this hinder my reboot? should I give this up also?

Many thanks!


porn-induced ED. Even then it may only slow your progress. But it may not.

good luck

Ok thank you. I don't have any ED at all :) and thanks again for the website.

Just a note I wanted to make you aware of... there is quite a few porn ad's which are being shown on this website... I have seen three today since posting these comments.

In response to my last comment on the ads, I was using a work computer an I think they have software that is placing ads on the site, Facebook etc. Please forgive me for the misunderstanding. Thanks

First of all, I'd really like to thank you for this great website.
I'm 34 years old, I love my job, I have many friends and never had big problems in finding girls. I started using porn when I was 20-21, and had always a "healty" use of it: just sometimes, and just for few mintues.
The nightmare started about 2-3 years ago and I don't even know why I began watching porn everyday and masturbating for hours, on week-ends even for 5-7 hours remaining on the edge all the time and ejaculating just once in the end. In the past I never had erection problems with my partners, both girlfriends and one night stand, but in the past couple of years it's difficult for me to have an erection, either when I masturbate or when I'm with a girl. I can only reach it with hand stimulation and I can't even remember last time I had a morning erection.
Furthermore, in the past I always had strong erection and was able to last more then an hour with my partners. Now, when I have sex, my penis is flaccid and I have to put a lot of efforts not to ejaculate after 5 minutes and my urethra has become very sensitive. I stopped watching porn and masturbating 10 days ago after finding this great website. I find very easy not to watch porn or masturbating because I'm really scared by what I've become and I miss very much the person I used to be: a guy having great erections and amazing sex.
I have few questions:
1) I smoke about five cigarettes per day, could it be prejudicial for my reboot?
2)I should meet my girlfriend who lives in a different country from mine in a month, is it better to postpone the date?
3) Is it better in anycase to have a blood test to know what is missing in your blood?
Thanks a lot


1) I smoke about five cigarettes per day, could it be prejudicial for my reboot?

I don't know.

2) I should meet my girlfriend who lives in a different country from mine in a month, is it better to postpone the date?

Dating is part of the cure. It's called rewiring. The problem with porn-induced ED is that you have wired your sexual response to porn.

3) Is it better in any case to have a blood test to know what is missing in your blood?

Everyone should see a medical professional to rule out other possible causes of ED

I can't thank you enough for this website and for your help. I would have never imagined that my ED could have be caused by porn abuse.


Is it possible that this 5-6 hours masturbation with coitus interruptus for couple of years twice a week damaged my urethra and/or prostate?

Thanks a lot


I suggest a visit to a good urologist.

I've just read your article about Deltafosb and edging and now I'm a bit scared. How can I know if the edging practice have caused genetical and irreversible modifications to my brain?


- it's whether you are edging TO PORN.

If you have porn-induced ED, then your brain has changed. But the ED can be cured. What may stick around are the addiction pathways that can be reactivated if you go back to using porn.


Thanks so much for your fast reply, and thanks especially because I think you always answer to more or less the same questions that we ask you here.
The problem is that in the past year I used to edge both to porn (something like 2-3 times a week, 3-5 hours per session) and to my girlfriend on skype (once a week, 2 hours per session).
For me quitting porn was not difficult at all: I quit it and masturbation about 12 days ago after finding your website, because I understood (fuck, so late!) there was an obvious relation between watching it and my ED.
I have no urge to watch it, I feel totally fine and much better without it because I have so much time for myself. But as I told you before, I'm so scared that in a month, when I meet my girlfriend, my erections will be weak. Next week I'll go to my urologist and in meanwhile I made a blood test. All the values are fine, except from Prolactinemia which yes, is higher then normal...


First of all, thank you for this website!It helps a lot!Sorry for my bad english, i'm french.It'been one month i'm free PMO.I think i'm in the flatline now. In one week, i go to greece to meet a friend for a week. We already had sex 6 months ago. I think we will again. So that's my question: Should i do nothing and tell her it's not possible to have sex or may be i can "stimulate" my libido by masturbating me (without P or fantasy of course), with O or not? I ask you this because i really want to have sex with her and when i began free PMO, after one week of no PMO, i was really horny... So MAY BE if i do that i could be horny again for one week, and still without P. I know you don't have all the solutions, but from your experience what is the best strategy? I have ED but not always when i have sex, i think it depended on days...thanks you so much for your help!! TOM


Hello everyone, im about a month into my reboot porn and no masturbation. After a couple more weeks im goin to masturbate to a past sexual experience in my head. My question is this: am i allowed to masturbate to smelling my girls socks she leaves for me since she knows i like that, or should i keep to masturbation to things in my head.

So I have been with my boyfriend for 14 months and I love him deeply. However we have always had issues in the bedroom. It is rare that he can maintain a full erection for the duration of our sessions. Often he will stop re-arouse himself and then carry on to climax. I remember in the beginning saying I feel like your head is somewhere else. And so then came the excuses performance anxiety, stress, tiredness, if we'd had an arguement etc etc. I have had many sexual partners in long term relationships and casual flings over the years (I'm 27) and I have taken 2 partners virginities so nerves and performance anxiety was something I'd faced before but very quickly gotten over once we were comfortable. With current boyfriend however this just didn't seem to be improving. I kept probing what's wrong what's going on but the excuses just continued.
Anyways on our one year anniversary I noticed an abrasion on his penis and joked have you been wanking off to porn too hard and he broke down and says yes and that he had s problem.
Before me he has had sex twice in his whole life and it transpires he's been masterbating to porn since he was twelve twice a day several times at weekends until no (age 27). We are living together now so his porn usage and gone down to once a week (when I would be at work so sneaky!). And things in the bedroom are way better than I'm
The beginning but still not what I've been used to with other partners.
Anyways he decided at that point he was going to give up porn and masterbation and start seeing a therapist. Things have been going ok until the other day when we attempted sex and it went soft again and after much probing he admitted he'd masterbated the day before whilst I was sleeping (again so sneaky) but at least it was to thoughts of me and not porn. So that makes us about 63 days of no PMO with one minor relapse.
Following the relapse I went hunting on the Internet and found this site. My other half had spent the last few days watching all the videos and I think he finally realises the damage he's been doing to himself. This website has also opened my eyes I almost want to shout it off the rooftops to warm young boys what they are in for if they enter this world of high speed internet porn. I must admit I down played it in my mind when he first told me he had a problem but seeing the science behind it has helped enormously.
Weirdly he's been retiring with me for 14 months and he climaxes without fantasy 90% of the time but there is clearly the porn pathway edged in his brain which I'm competing with which isn't nice but hey ho!
I'm here for the long run and we have decided to play have sex from here on in by ear as like most not sure if that's been helping or hindering! Kindness and compassion is what I aim to provide through the remainder of his reboot which I'm reckoning will be a total of 2 years given the length of his addiction. Also bought some suplements to help with his mood and he's back to the gym so all positive things. He's also now got a thought log for his own private thoughts on his journey.
I think the message I would like to give is guys do not be shy in telling your partners you have a problem women are wired to nurture and care and therefore if she's worth being with she will support you (we treasure honesty!!) . But do be aware that your addiction will make her feel feelings of worthlessness and that she is ugly so make sure you keep the reassurance and open communication coming!
And to girls your man is not a weirdo or a pervert he has fallen victim to an increasingly worrying problem that a lot of young men have been drawn into. Love him for better or worse not just with the idea he will be this perfect finished product. We all have our vices. And we all need love so we don't become reliant on them.

It's tragic to see young men impairing their sexual function this way, not to mention injuring their penises. Anything you can do to get the word out would be good. Maybe post on reddit/sex and reddit/nofap, if you have time. And on

Sadly, there's a group of sexologists who are in denial about the connection between internet porn use and harm, and they have much louder voices in the media than the rest of us. (Although in April TIME Magazine did a cover story on this problem.) Hopefully this issue will become common knowledge, as people like you share their experience.

I am 45 and I wanted to post here because I feel I caught my condition early on, thanks to the information on this site.
I was first exposed to porn in my early teens. It has been a part of my life ever since. I have been married for over 20 years and there are some common sexual acts that my wife doesn’t provide. Early on, I turned to my porn habit to satisfy my desires by watching those acts. My wife and I would go long periods of time (weeks, even months) without intercourse and these periods would be interspersed (on average every few days) with sessions where I would masturbate to porn to completion. Sometimes to tube sites, other times to videos I downloaded. During this period, I didn’t prefer porn to my wife, but it was certainly easier that trying to get her in the mood, when I needed a ‘fix’. I never once had any performance issues whenever we did have sex, so I feel that up until a few months ago my use of porn was relatively healthy. Although I was escalating to more extreme versions of the porn I liked to watch, I didn’t switch to BDSM, torture, etc…
Over a year ago, I discovered porn on Tumblr and immediately started my own account – and this was the start of my downfall. I started following other accounts that featured the kind of content that aroused me. Being an app on my phone, I had instant access to it whenever I wanted it. When I discovered that I could even watch it at work over the company wireless, I started a daily fapping session (30, 45, even 60 minutes) which has gone on for several months. I was effectively edging, scrolling until I saw a scene I licked, watching it, scrolling some more until I found the scene to finish to. I remember several times looking at my penis afterward and noticing a discoloration on the shaft, but not really thinking much about it. Again, during this time, I was able to have normal intercourse with my wife with the exception of a single time when my erection failed me (due to masturbating to porn a few hours before). Ironically, during this escalation with porn, my sex life has been getting much better – more frequent and very satisfying (reinforcing that masturbating to porn is NOT about libido)
Last week, I experienced a situation where my penis barely responded to sexual stimulation. Later that same day, I was able to have one of the best nights of sex with my wife that I have ever had. This rules out normal ED, but I became very curious about what was going on – and ultimately found this site. I realize now that my penis has become desensitized due to the daily M sessions and after reading articles and watching videos on this site, I feel like I am in the beginning stages of PIED. I’ve taken immediate action to reverse course. Tumblr is no longer on my phone and I am giving up P right now. I plan on giving up M as well, only doing it once a week to get hard enough to gauge if my EQ is improving. I also plan to have no sex for 10 days, and then find a natural rhythm with my wife. Since I am still able to have sex with my wife with no problem, I don’t feel that I need to use the “hard” approach here to recover/reboot. I'll let you know how it goes.