Relapse Recovery Guide 1 (Perspective)

I wanted to start off simple with my first guide and the topic is perspective. In many cultures we view failure as a sign of inadequacy. We are under the impression that we are either good at something or not. If you can hit a ball with a bat your just not good at baseball. We are easily discouraged from the fear of failure and avoid raising our hand in class or speaking up. We are scared to try because of being viewed as a “loser.

This is why I presume we feel so much guilt and shame when we relapse, why we beat ourselves up so much and binge for multiple days until were so utterly sick of ourselves that we drag our feet back into trying the 90 day journey.

In other cultures such as Japan, the “loser” is not the one who fails or is inadequate but is the one who gives up. A student can struggle with a math problem in front of a class without losing composure because they don’t let the fear or act of messing up stop them from persisting.

think about it for a second. Is it not silly to think you would be born good at something. Yes there are people who are talented and seem to catch on quicker but think of the people at the top of their game, “Michael Jordan, Michael Phelps, Jeremy Lin, Issac Newton, ext.) not only were these people not born good at what they do but they all struggled at first. Yes I stray from the point of the addiction, but this is much more then an addiction this is much more then beating ED, this is about you and your life and seeing what you are capable of and you my friend are much more then this.

My main point is this do not be discourage when you relapse pick yourself up right away dust off your shoulders and continue walking forward. Everytime you relapse you have two choices you can either wallow in agony or you can turn it into a lesson.

Pretty words aside here is some actual advice on what to do. begin a daily journal, I personally write what I learned everyday and what I could’ve done better.

when it comes to pornfree/nofap, begin to write down your feelings post or pre relapse, there are many reasons that cause us to relapse, get vivid with it, what is going on or went on to cause you to relapse what can you do next time this problem arise create a battle plan. Create bright lines that are clear in your mind amidst the fog.

Example 1: Never intentionally look at explicit content or seek it.

Example 2: Never end a fight with a significant other on a bad note, also do not waste Willpower on trying to prove them wrong but instead focus on humbling yourself and listening. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2prHYfx0qTU)

I can say for myself following these steps give meaning to my relapses it encourages me to keep moving forward, my relapses are not a sign of failure but instead a sign that I am one step closer to achieving my goal.

Disclaimer (I plan to become an active member on pornfree and nofap I will be reposting these guides on each subreddit, this is a form of accountability for myself but it is also a way to share what I have learned. The best way to learn something is to reteach it. I will be sharing from the mountain of books I read as well as experience.)

Feedback appreciated.

Relapse Recovery Guide 1 (Perspective)

 by neverforget_3118 days