Some tips for NoFap that I’ve learned from AA
Hey guys, I am a sober Fapstronaut, having been in AA for 5 years and being clean that whole time from my drug of choice, heroin as well as all other mind altering substances. I have some experience with quitting highly addictive substances, and staying clean 1 day at a time. I would like to impart some of the knowledge I have gained, as it is helpful to recovery to both share and help.
1) Just for Today: Recognize that we are doing things one day at a time. There is only one point in time we can do anything about, and that is RIGHT NOW. Don’t think about this being forever. Keep it to today. Wake up and remind yourself that you are not fapping JUST FOR TODAY. Anybody can do something for 24 hours.
2) Progress, not perfection: Be tolerant and understanding of yourself if you do not meet up to your own personal standards. We are extremely hard on ourselves. People who have been using external stimuli such as PMO to medicate or level out against the stresses of the world have a tendency to beat ourselves up, and use the disappointment or negative feelings to justify our behavior. Cut the self destructive activity out at the base. Be kind to yourself and be understanding that we are trying to get better.
3) Avoid People, Places and Things: There are triggers all around us. People with addictions structure their lives around addiction. Chances are, there are people in our lives that cosign our behavior in making us feel that looking at PMO is acceptable and completely normal. They question your choice to take this leap to better yourself. With people like this, it is best not to bring up the subject, instead, bring it up to people who understand and nurture your idea. We need support and love to overcome a spiral based upon lack of discipline and self harm.
4) Be of Service!: With any addiction, there is a basic selfishness and self serving attitude that arrises. Most of the time, we as humans work out of the basis of fear. We are often times afraid that we are going to lose what we have or not get what we want. We are afraid of loneliness and boredom. We are afraid of being alone and afraid of intimacy and the vulnerability brought on by both of the states of existence. But the true way to combat this is through being of service to others. We are trying to build self esteem. We can achieve this through doing good things. Self esteem through esteemable actions. Work hard to be available to others in your life. As an example, I was having a craving to fap, and instead of giving into this urge, I decided to impart knowledge that has been given to me by someone who took time out of their life to speak with me. Be there for other people and be of service, you will find that your own personal problems and thoughts quiet down. And really, isn’t that what we all fap for? A little peace of mind?
Anyway, I hope this helps. I am more than happy to continue to share any of these tools (as there are a TON more) if people want to know any more about how I have continued to better myself through the tools taught in 12 step programs. I can say with true honesty that these are some of the things that have helped me do what I couldn’t do for myself. Please, feel free to ask questions and message me. I am here to help and want to help anybody succeed. We’re in this together guys!
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