This Needs To Be Said, Understood, & Reaffirmed
There is a great deal of over-analysis and obsessive worry on the tiniest of minutia by a good deal of people recovering. Most of it coming from the new guys. I’m not harping on you because to a degree this is natural, you’re new to this and wanting to go full bore 100% and really kick this addiction in the ass, that’s excellent.
What needs to be realized is this: this is extremely…extremely… s i m p l e.
Step 1: Do not view pornography.
(anything that stimulates you sexually and does not involve bonding intimately with another human being in person)
Step 2: Do not masturbate.
(leave it alone, for the love of all that is holy let that poor bastard rest, you’ve beat him up enough already)
Step 3: Do not orgasm.
(consciously having an orgasm intentionally in any way)
Now, understand this: your brain will try to find every loop hole imaginable for you to get your fix, ie dating sites, chatting, strip clubs, sexting, etc, does it stimulate you sexually? Then you are not to follow through, ABORT! “But how long am I supposed to do this for, when will I recover?” Go 90 days no pmo without even thinking about whether you’ve recovered. Full recovery likely takes upwards of a year or two but you are in the depths of this addiction’s grasp and need to completely go no pmo from the start MINIMUM 90 days, avg probably 120 days and for poor bastards like myself upwards of 180 days plus… After that recovery period begin rewiring cautiously with a partner and look up the definition of “intimacy” and reread it on a daily basis.
I see so many guys obsessively worrying about the tiniest stuff. “I’ve gone no pmo for a week and woke up with a semi, do you think I’m pretty much recovered?” “Wet dreams are ruining my life!!!!” “Oh my god my libido is gone, will it ever come back?!” Chill…do the three steps, forget about everything else. You will experience things you’re not used to…you’ve abused your pleasure centers for YEARS…you’re going to have to go through some stuff.
“But how can I make recovery easier?!” Yes, recovery is hard from any addiction but there are zero shortcuts so stop looking. This is the best thing you can do for yourself: Just follow the process and MOVE ON WITH LIFE. For guys that obsessively worry over all of this it’s no wonder it’s difficult for you to no pmo, you fixate on it with all your being. You need to build more involved lives, take up new hobbies, become involved with things, do things you’ve never done before and build new neural pathways, ie LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Feeling unsure if you’re doing things correctly? It’s just three simple steps, be honest with yourself and make sure you are following all three…ain’t nothing else to it but to do it.
And again…relax…
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