Tools For Change: Recovery from Porn Addiction

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The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates

For many, leaving a porn addiction behind involves changing several aspects of their lives. Willpower and "white knuckling" are rarely sufficient to recover from this addiction. While we don't have a " recovery program" at YBOP, this section contains suggestions and tools employed by those who successfully rebooted. A collection of the best "rebooting advice" posts are located here - Rebooting Advice & Observations

The links at the bottom of the page contain many sub-links. Also see the support tab for sites and therapists that do have recovery programs.

1) Gain a clear understanding of how porn has affected your brain and why you need to rewire your brain and return your reward circuitry to normal sensitivity.

With a clear understanding of how you became addicted, what occurred in your brain, and how healing progresses, you are better prepared to steer your own course to recovery.

 2) Understand rebooting and what it entails.

Hurry

  • Start with the Rebooting Basics article. The best way to understand rebooting is to read the stories of others who have recovered from porn addiction and porn-induced ED. You will find numerous rebooting accounts here, and here, including the majority of ED stories. Shorter porn-induced ED recovery stories are here.
  • Our best resource for what to do and not do: Rebooting Advice & Observations contains the cream of the crop advice posts by those who have been there and successfully recovered.
  • Rebooting is our term for taking a time out to recover from porn addiction and associated symptoms, including erectile dysfunction and porn-induced sexual fetishes. If you are addicted to porn, your brain has undergone the same fundamental physiological and structural changes that all drug and behavioral addictions share: desensitization, sensitization, and hypofrontalityPorn addiction may affect the innate sexual centers and circuits of the brain, as evidenced by porn-induced ED, DE, loss of libido, and a flatline during withdrawal.
  • The quickest way to reboot is to give your brain a rest from artificial sexual stimulation—porn, porn fantasy and masturbation. Most guys eliminate or drastically reduce orgasms during their reboot period. There are no hard rules as everyone is in a different situation. On the other hand, sensual contact with a real person can be beneficial, as long as you don't fantasize about porn.
  • With your brain in balance you will find it much easier to avoid the lure of mind-altering habits and substances. Please note that for those with porn-induced ED, Internet porn is the addiction and the cause of ED, not masturbation or orgasm. However, temporarily eliminating masturbation and orgasm may be the way to go as it initiates a withdrawal, un-wires porn from masturbation, reduces cravings, and most important - works.
  • Rebooting seems to involve the reversal of two relatively distinct brain changes: desensitization and sexual conditioning (sensitization). As you reboot your brain will return to its prior sensitivity which allows you to feel arousal and satisfaction more normally.
  • Addiction leads to the strengthening of sensitized "go for it" neural pathways, and weakening of rational "let's think about this" neural pathways. There's a tug of war between the craving pathways (sensitization) and your executive control, which resides in your frontal cortex. Weakened frontal cortex pathways (hypofrontality) lose the tug of war to cravings, resulting in your being unable to control use. It takes time for your brain to return to normal. See - Unwiring and Rewiring.

3) Converting your computer to an ally

Do you think it's a good idea for a recovering alcoholic to spend his/her free time hanging out in bars? Since you are hanging out on the Net, you may want to employ more than sheer willpower. It can be easier to reboot if you block porn from your computer (or at least images) for a while. When porn is available at a click, its looming presence can produce intense inner conflict, and stress makes relapse more likely.

4) Replace porn use with naturally rewarding activities.

support helps porn addiction recoveryAs you select the tools you feel drawn to work with, keep in mind that humans are tribal, pair-bonding primates. Our brains didn't evolve to regulate mood very well when we're not interacting with others. That is, it's normal to feel anxious when you are isolated. I suggest reading this post by host of YourBrainRebalanced.com - My Thoughts On Rebooting.

Unfortunately, heavy porn users often find they don't feel like socializing. They may even have developed intense anxiety at the very thought of socializing. Nevertheless, as soon as they can, they benefit from finding ways to connect with others even if they have to push themselves. If you're shy, give extra attention to the tips under Tools to Connect With Others. Once off of porn, their brains soon rediscover some of the prime natural rewards that they evolved to thrive on: soothing close, trusted companionship and regular, affectionate touch. Read users' comments about social improvements.

When you remove one source of dopamine (porn) it's vitally important to replace it with other, healthy sources of dopamine. As you consider which additional tools to try, keep in mind that heavy porn use is actually a synthetic substitute for the activities that naturally help keep your brain in balance. Not surprisingly, the most common tools employed include exercise, time in nature, creative activities, meditation, healthy diet, and socializing. Some of these naturally rewarding activities you can do by yourself, while others require human interaction. Therefore the Tools are split into two groups.

Said one guy:

"I noticed when I want to stop a habit, it's stupidly hard, but I realized that displacing a habit with another is much easier. Find the root of the problem and displace one habit with another entirely to fill the basic root need. The "I don't want something" versus the "I want something", what a subtle semantic! Yet how so deep and important it is!"

5)  Counseling

  • In addition to rebooting, people sometimes need professional help to work through particularly stubborn old patterns. Persistent rage, shame, grief, abandonment, or depression can signal that counseling would be helpful. If you seek help from a therapist, you may want to educate him/her first about some of the symptoms heavy porn users are reporting.

Porn addiction recovery IS possible6) Other websites and forums

  • Under the support button you will find many other websites, forums and support groups.  A support group is a great way to form close, sincere friendships. Recovering users benefit enormously from regular blogging, exchanging tips and support with others. Many of the sites have forums, meetings and recovery programs. Some of the most active forums include:

6) Frequently Asked Questions

  • Our FAQ section answers most of the questions that naturally arise and contains tips and suggestions.
  • Skim Rebooting Advice & Observations for pages of tips, advice, and motivation from those who have been there.

"OK, but where do I start?"

Advice from forum members:

Browse the appropriate articles on YourBrainOnPorn

  • Delete stash
  • Destroy all physical porn (DVDs, magazines)
  • Install an Internet porn blocker and put it on the strictest settings. Put in a password that you don't have memorized, write it down and put it in a difficult place to retrieve.
  • Try to limit computer time, and if you experience a trigger or a serious urge, then shut off your computer and do a pre-set activity that you will now be your "go-to" porn replacement activity. Choose something positive and healthy: chess, exercise, eat a salad, study a language etc.
  • Stop masturbating for as long as you can stand. If you must masturbate, then do it without porn.
  • Continually update your journal with your experiences insights.
  • If you do use porn again, don't give up.
  • Do whatever it takes to stay away from porn and do quit masturbating for as long as possible.
  • Resist the urge to "test" yourself with porn. That can send you right back into it.
  • DO NOT!!! LISTEN TO YOUR BRAIN! If you're gonna reboot, then do it and ignore all rationalizations. After two months or so, you can think whatever you want as far as "Does it really work?" or "Should I continue?"

Said one young guy three weeks into his reboot:

It's strange! I never imagined that stopping this addiction would open up so many other doors and help me in other aspects of life. I always envisaged it would just be my sex life that would see positive changes.

I think after this experience I'm going to take the careful-gardener approach to my reward circuitry. It has been very eye-opening to say the least. It feels like the changes to other aspects of my life are taking place before noticeable libido changes happen—almost as though my brain is building new perceptions and sensations so that when my libido returns it will be back with a bang.

Let us know what worked for you, what didn't, and why. (After registering, "add new comment" below any item.) Also feel free to share your own suggestions and refinements.

Comments

Hey everyone.

I'm not quite new here but this first time to post my story. Guess this will be only an instalment of my long story!

I'm writing coz I reached to the stage where I'm actually possessed by internet porn. And specially by the 24/7 kind of porn. Need your encouragement and push so that I could go on and keep writing.

Thanks and see you later.

receive a reply. There's no forum on YBOP. I suggest looking under the support tab above for active forums.

How nice it would have been if society could accept polygamy as something natural and that would have been the nail in the coffin for pornography. I personally feel it is difficult to feel attracted towards the same guy/girl foreever and occasional sex outside of marriage would help in cooling down the lust for pornography. At the moment is it taboo/dangerous/inconvenient to get sex outside of marraige hence most men/women (married or not) resort to pornography.

This brings me to another point. In the reboot process if we are to avoid masterbation then good amount of natural sex is important. Because if you dont do any of that then the pressure becomes too distracting to carry out other work in life.
Is there some medication (pill etc)that can help relieve the pressure so that we do not resort to masterbation ( and hence then to porn)during reboot.

I cannot answer your question about masturbation and sex. I suggest reading rebooting basics as a start. Rebooting isn't really about masturbation, though most seem to abstain during the reboot.

Hi Gary

I am 20 and have been watching porn since I was about 14, and cannot get it up for intercourse with my girlfriend now. After reading all the symptoms of porn induced ED, I am now certain I have it, which is O.K because I can now see a way out of it.

I have started my reboot, joined a forum and have ceased masturbating and watching porn. I am only 14 days in.

My question to you is this. My girlfriend and I generally find other ways to satisfy eg blowjobs, handjobs, and I do the equivalent for her. After reading some of the information on your website, I am not 100% sure I should be doing this? If I am after the speediest recovery, should I have absolutely no form of ejaculation at all? And if so, does this extend to me satisfying her?

Thanks for your help.

Bob.

START HERE: Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction

We explain it all there. We don't say yes or no, just present what others have experienced. Most guys with PIED give up orgasms or drastically reduce them for a while. The thing to keep in mind is that each person must perform their own experiment. You have a great advantage in that you have a GF.

I'm 22 and I'm on NoFap. I'm on day 4 of this current streak. I've been here more than a dozen times and I wanna break away from this porn addiction once and for all.

Today I clicked on a NSFW link to a music video. I clicked on it (I shouldn't have done that, not the best idea), hoping for some barenaked girls. To my great surprise at the beginning of the video a girl's backside was totally naked. I suddenly felt the dopamine rush, even though I did NOT feel the urge to fap. Then my body felt what I can only describe as "blocked", "overcharged", tense, rushed, and then I felt an overwhelming depression. This depression was NOT psychological but purely neurochemical from my perspective.
Won't I be able to look at hot barenaked or naked girls on my computer screen ever again? The mere thought of it is scary.

You are only 4 days in. What you experienced is reactivation of an addiction cue, or trigger. This is called sensitization. Read this - Why do porn cues still trigger a rush (sensitization)?

Your response will change over time. Also read this - What stimuli must I avoid during my reboot (did I relapse)?

Good luck

Well I'm 19 days in, and I'm sure I'm going through withdrawal. Cold sweats, nausea, flu like symptoms, brain fog, anxiety, drinking a lot of water and needing to pee all the time. It's been going on 6 days. Please tell me I'm somewhere near the end of it. Been getting a bit of morning wood, but still no closer to getting hard without direct stimulation (which Is a complete no-no inside the first 90 days right?). The urge to MO is very present. I was hoping it would have died down by now.

Those are pretty severe. Should calm down soon. As far as stimulation, most guys say its fine to fool around, even have sex.

Hang in there

I did a drastic diet change as well, more fruit and veg, less junk, so that could have something to do with it.

Well symptoms have diminished, and along with them I think hypofontality. Cravings are way down and easily controlled. I still have the other two demons to contend with however.

Hello Sir,

I have just made my account here.Its my first day of reboot.I am probably a bit late for this but I hope that GOD will help me.

I have seen lots of doctors and have been diagnosed with ED.I want to write my whole story and my medical problems and details and want advice from experts as well as want to hear similar experiences from people.

Please tell me where should I post it.Waiting for your reply.

On this site you can only comment under current articles. Also know that few people will see it, and probably no one will reply - other than me.

I suggest visiting this forum - http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php

It seems as most guys there have ED. You can also start a journal, which will be seen by other guys. It is where you can tell your story and get advice.

good luck

Can i have your private email address and i email you my complete details which includes some test results as well and then you can guide me.Please its very urgent, do reply me.

medical advice. I actually don't give any personal advice. YBOP only addresses porn-induced sexual problems. As a result we have only one single approach - stop porn, porn fantasy, and perhaps masturbation - for several months, and see what happens.

Details are irrelevant. Why? Because we do not diagnose. Everyone should see a good doctor, and eliminate all other possible causes of their sexual dysfunction, then decide for themselves if a reboot is appropriate.

You could post your story on these forums -

http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?board=5.0

http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/

PornFree subreddit -

NoFap.in

good luck to you

 

I am 13 right now and I have been jerking for about 9months. I don't have a clue how I started. I am pretty sure it actually began when girls started to call me ugly. And then I somehow got to porn. My family is deeply Christian, so I have felt guilty ever since it hit me how wrong porn is. My peers talk freely of porn, so I often feel comfortable jerking and watching porn. I have not told anyone of my addiction yet. I see how hard pol fight shaper it and I am so happy I am not alone. Usually I can't go one day without porn, andaftr I always feel discuted with my self. I read other ppls story's and they often depict failing relationships with girls, and I wish to be able to have a healthy rationship with women.
I use to go on and off with porn, like stop for a few months or so, but I always got hooked. I remember the days when I used to not be a pervert, I loved school and had good grades and alot of friends. Now it's the other way around, I started to get on a bad diet, and now I have a farther relationship with both my family and friends. I lost most of my sense of humer, and most of the tome feel like I am a lifeless as a rock. Porn has carved out my life and my joy. I spent alot if time on porn, only to receive sorrow and misery back. I have tried to quit before many times before, I usually thought that if I put my mind off porn and started doing other thing like gaming, I would stop. That was never the case.I feel lucky that I realized that porn equals bad when was only a year in. I watch porn on my iPod andnow I have set blocks up. If that does not work, then I will get rid of it. There is a famous saying that goes; "if ye hand does not obey thee, chop it off,"
I have put my trust in god and am praying every night to him to help me.

God bless all of you wonderful people!

Scraters

attempting masturbation only (with no porn). For some guys that's the best way to regain control. Just make sure that you masturbate without porn fantasy either (or you're activating the same pathways and not letting them fade). Are there any guidelines for healthy masturbation? | Your Brain On Porn

Gaming isn't a very good substitute because games, too, keep you staring at your screen, hooked on constant novelty and excitement (the same qualities that are making internet porn so hot).

What about coming up with an exercise routine? Getting involved in more school activities? Finding some volunteer work? Spending time in nature, or walking someone's dog? Trying daily cold showers? There are lots of ideas here: Solo Tools

Create a plan with daily goals and 6-month goals. Here's a forum where you can start a journal and, hopefully, find an accountability partner: www.nofap.org

Thanks for the suggestions, i played FB one year and i noticed that i did not have craving for porn. I will put these thoughts into my mind. THANKS ):D

Scraters

I am an 23 men who just startet his rebooting process and I kinda feel like sharing my thoughts and feelings for some reason.
First of all please apologize any grammer or spellings mistakes, as english is not my first language.
I constantly fap to porn for round about ten years now. There were stages where I PMO every day or just a few times a week. But when I did it sessions in which I fapped for like 5-10 hours almost non stop. In the past years I also switched mainly to transgender and gay porn. Even though I consider myself as a heterosexual men. I could never imagine beeing in a relationship or even kiss a men. Futhermore I generally feel disgusted and ashamed of myself after I consumed trans or gay porn. I think I am fitting to the men who suffer from OCD, HOCD. (Haven't yet read all the articles about it)
Over the years I also bought quite a few sex toys (dildos etc.) which I use sometimes during porn. (They disgust me even more when I am finished)
So much to my "Porn-History". In real life I am still a virgin.
Its not that I am a shy guy or that I never had to opportunity to lose my viginity but I guess a made a bad start with the girls in the first place.
The first and the second girl a fell in love with really badly rejected me after playing with me for some time. That kinda ruined me emotially in my teens.
My fist actual attempt to sleep with a girl was two years ago.
At this time I was not aware of the fact that I am addicted to porn or knew about its horrible effects it can cause. When I tried to sleep whith her I was able to get a limpy errection during foreplay but not when I tried to stick it in. That was the moment where I kinda freaked out because it was the first time I noticed that something was wrong with me. After that I was afraid that I may have ED and when I read some things about it I also realized that I havent had a proper morning wood in month (maybe even years). Well but sadly I stumpled about porn addiction and that this may also cause ED after all. So I tried quite a few things after that to improve my potenzy in general like exercise a lot, supplements e.g. some testosteron boosters. I even got some viagra over the internet. But nothing really worked. That was kind a hard time for and was really depressed for a long time and I watched even more porn, just to prove to myself that I still can get it up during fapping.

Well I think last year I stumbled over this website and it kinda opened my eyes. Since then I had a few successful attemps of rebooting. My longest try was for like two weeks, because I dated a girl for like 3 months and I really wanted to lose my V-Card finally. But after I got my fist morning wood I considered myself as healed and started PMOing again. In the end I was able to get a propper errection during foreplay (with viagra) but not when we wanted to get real serious so I broke up whith her in order not to embarres myself anymore. Over all my libido was very very small at that moment that I sometimes considered myself as beeing asexual...

When I look back today I really regret that I broke up with her because If I had talked to her about my feelings/problems and my addiction I am pretty sure that she would have supported me...

Well now here I am today. Last week after a very long and intense porn session I was so disgusted of myself and really hated me for what I was doing. So I stuffed all my sextoys in a bag and throw them into the trash, I cleaned my PC from any porn and blocked porn websites.
Today is day 8 of reboot and even though my libido is at complete zero I am kind of optimistic. After all you can say this is my first "serious" attempt to stop watching porn.
The last week wasn't so hard, but now I struggle with a growing desire to watch porn. I even had a dream last night about watching porn. (I hope this does not affect my reboot to much)

But yeah I try to stay strong !

If you want a will update my process in the future ! :)
Thanks and regards !

Gary,

I've been reading your website for around a year & a half as well as participated in the yourbrainrebalanced forum. Great information, and I appreciate all the work everyone has contributed. Recently, I have taken a deeper look and meaning into habit changes and paradigm shifts that have been mentioned by several prominent forum members. I completely agree with Gabe, Underdog, and several others.

Also, I have a question. I suffer from a type of porn induced erectile dysfunction where I can not achieve a penetrative erection with or without porn. While viewing porn in the past I have achieved 50% percent erections that have subsided quickly. In addition, ed medication does not work. I am a 24 year old and trying to get to the bottom of this. Do you have any similar stories from YBOP or YBR? I would like to know where I stand in the spectrum and some useful tips for recovery. I have found that removing any type of fantasy is a necessity.

Please let me know if you have any information.

Thanks!

Sean

a rebooter just like you. Have you been rebooting for 18 months?

While viewing porn in the past I have achieved 50% percent erections that have subsided quickly.

Are you saying you have never achieved a full erection - even with porn? I assume you have seen a urologist.

 

Yes, when I started my job when I was 18 ( also before that age as well) I remember getting spontaneous erections for women. I worked at a gym so there were always cute girls working out. So I have achieved spontaneous erections and morning wood in my life. From 19-21 I began smoking weed heavily and PMO, and then when I became 21 alcohol was added as well. I had little sexual experience beyond making out till I was 21. A few months after I turned 21, I attempted to sleep with a friend of mine. However, I could not achieve a penetrative erection for her. That's when I began my search. I went to see a GP and a urologist. Both took tests and concluded that I was fine. They prescribed me Viagra and cialis respectively. Neither, of the drugs worked for my situation. During this time I was also depressed, had terrible concentration, focus, and insomnia, as well as had Hocd. Things took a turn for the better when I found YBOP. My first reboot was the most successful by far. I went 120 days only relapsing 3 times to MO. However, during this time I was able to remove fantasy and rewire with a partner. At the end of the reboot I masturbated and began having spontaneous erections, wet dreams, and libido. However, these went away after a week. I believe this happened because I started to revert back to previous ways of thinking. After this reboot, I had a 120 day long reboot. However, during this reboot I saw very little change and from what i've inferred this is for several reasons. First, I was edging and would look at images that activated the sensitized pathways. I was overally focused on the number and not the real brain change. Also, I fantasized often during my second reboot. And lastly, I didn't have many hobbies or rewire with a partner during this time....Since then I have had a combination of random streaks trying to find a solution to my problem. After reading and watching recent threads from Gabe & underdog I have realized the importance of the paradigm shift, where focusing on no porn is not the solution, but focusing on having a better life is what really matters. At this time I believe I am in a flatline, but like I stated in my previous post I have both weak erections for women and pornography. I'm not sure if its only Porn induced ED or a combination, but I would appreciate any advice that may help.

Sean

It seems like a short history for it to be PIED. Plus you have had a couple of reboots. But of course, if your ED is not porn related, then what could be the cause?

I need to ask the obvious questions

1) Can you achieve an erection while masturbating?

2) How does the erection compare to masturbating to porn?

 

Gary,

I just received results from my penile duplex; they showed that I was completely fine on a vascular level with no signs of a venous leak. I figured it was time to rule that out. As for the answers...

1) I can achieve a semi erection, nothing of penetrative strength.

2) Erections on porn seem to last longer, but are around the same strength.

I feel as though success has some relation to rewiring with women and trying to focus my attention as these have shown the greatest improvements in the past. However, it can be difficult reaching out to girls with this problem at hand. The other day on YBR I read a success story from a form member who, similar to myself, could not achieve a decent erection to porn either. I'll try to find the link.

Sean

The other day on YBR I read a success story from a form member who, similar to myself, could not achieve a decent erection to porn either. I'll try to find the link.

No need, as many guys who recovered could not achieve an erection to porn. That's why there is no perfect test.

I have been masterbation since I was 17, I used as away to not get anyone pregnant and stay away for
, I am scared because I am trying to reboot, I am on day 2, when I do masterbate to porn, my penis still gets extra hard , but women have not done it for me, I am afraid that it maybe the end for me, I am seeing a sex therapist, and I am going to find something I replace this , when I see certain women, I feel a little tingle in my penis so it makes me feel there is still hope for me. I am also writing in journal every night explaining how I feel.

I just want to share my recent experience of using hypnotherapy for porn addiction. I have found it to be an amazingly effective tool that substantially reduces my desire for porn. I should say that I only have 1 week nofap under my belt but this has not even been difficult - whereas without hypnotherapy I never managed to get so far. I basically downloaded a recording which cost me about $15 and whenever I feel like using porn I listen to the recording instead. I don't know what other people's experiences have been but I thought it might work for some so was worth sharing. The script of the therapy, once it has got you very relaxed, basically drives home how awful you will feel after porn (using your own imagination) and creates an association between this and your initial desire (and the feelings and triggers behind the desire) to use porn. I find now that when I do think of using porn I instantly think of how crap I will feel afterwards which kills the desire big-time. It's pretty simple but has been incredibly effective so far for me.

I came upon this site by accident, looking up info for a functional programming language(don't ask me how it happened!). However, I found the content to be interesting, read articles, watched some videos, etc. I never considered myself addicted to porn, and probably only PMO 3-4 times a week.
I don't have ED, and certainly would prefer real sex to any sort of self induced sexual pleasure. I had read many articles on the site mentioning other side effects of porn, and quotes from men who said it helped in all kinds of ways.
So down to the main question; Not feeling like I need to stop masturbating or looking at porn, should I go ahead and try it to see what other effects it may have had on my life?

give up porn just to see if it has indeed affected them. You've got nothing to lose.

 

29 year old and been in the PMO cycle from about age 14. Started experiencing ED with women in person at 17, overcompensated with PMO to convince myself everything still worked, hah, oh man. After reading this website I realize how badly I was screwing my brain up out of insecurity. As an adult I've always had ED issues (short performance, weak erections, extreme performance anxiety due to past attempts), still have slept with a dozen women, but it's getting so pathetic. I want to feel like I did when I was 16 again. What's a spontaneous erection?? I don't even remember.

I'm 11 days in, quit P, M and O cold turkey. SUCKS. Haha, I swear I've been walking around with blue balls for a week. Still dating, still talking to a lot of women, maybe it's working already ,maybe not. I have been waking up with some pretty solid morning wood, but still no full on erections that I'd feel confident in with a woman. I really hope it all works out. I'm def. committed to it, but if I don't see results in a few months I'm sure I'll have some serious doubts and anxiety...

Hello all. I am currently age 23. I started fooling around at age 5 pretending to use a goosebumps book as instruction to perform sexual acts on a girl in my preschool in the closet. Then in kindergarden a boy during nap time we performed a version of 69 under a table. Not to orgasm - not medically possible?! At age 10 my mother bought her first Gateway Desktop and she had me set it up for her. I learned so much about how it worked. It came with a AOL CD that we used to Dial-Up. I wondered what all was out there.

One night I brought everything down to the basement to play on that old thing. I discovered the Internet and one of the first things I searched for was naked girls and found countless sites. I would watch this every chance I could get and at the age of 13 I learned about masterbation. I would start finding places I would wish to take girls to have sex with thinking of course that I was far too inferior to actually inspire a girl to mention any kind words towards me. At the age of 16 I met my first love in chemistry class for the first time someone actually listened to my creativity and innovation. I felt this strong nexus between her and I. I met her family and they too were very kind and intelligent-fun to be around. I thought to my self: "Yes, I love this girl and all of her family as well." I was smitten. One day we laid down in the woods and talked for hours and she said something cute so I kissed her. My first kiss and It was hers too. We engaged in passionate kissing for a while and moved up to groping and we gave each-other handys. It was amazing.

That night I slept well aside for the morning when I woke up having this deep urge to masterbate. This relationship and the masterbation lasted for 5 years and I ended the relationship because of my sexual urges. I lost all ability to orgasm with her. I had much easier time doing so with other woman that I worked with at different stores and this eventually got my fired. I continued to seek other girls for about a month after my firing and I found my self in the same situation. I isolated my self for about 6 months working at a couple internet startups and going to school full-time. To keep my mind off of things but not once could I stop.

I finally met this really great gal and with almost everything in my life is going well. Apart from the masterbation. Yesterday when I was about to start working on my homework I got this ache in my right hand and I had an urge to masterbate. I said "NO" but my hand got worse I fought the urge for about an hour did some research and found this site I tried register but found out that it has to be approved? No blame. I was relieved to see that I did something to take care of my issue. However I still told my self "NO" I tried listening to some calming music and meditate and while mediating I began to sob. I ripped my shirt off in a fit of rage telling my dopamine receptors "NO!" But after another 30 minutes it was 2am and I still had homework to complete so I succumb to my greatest evil myself. Please if there is anyone who has any clue on what angle I should take next please do help? I have about 30 tabs open from this site and plan to read and try every single one of these bits of advice to stop this cures where it stands. I can not let my mind be controlled by my emotions and physical desires anymore.

 - this section is simply overview of some suggestions.

I suggest visiting this page where the top post on what to do are compiled - http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-advice-observations

I also suggest looking under the support tab, and checking out the active forums.

good luck

Hello, I've recently started my reboot from a 2yr porn addiction. Im lucky that I stopped before I got ED(at least I think). I've been staying true for about 5 days(just a start), but have been experiencing problems. Frequently images of porn stars, porn videos, and porn fantasies have been popping into my head. It's almost like it happens impulsively, like my mind lets it happen but I can't fight them. They just go away on there own. Any ideas on why this is occurring?? Thank you

Gratitude begins when my sense of entitlement ends

Just part of the process. From the porn faq page

 

I'm ashamed to say that I just had my first relapse. I regret it and I know I'm going to feel like whit for at least the next few days, maybe more. But I know why: I edged. Bad mistake. And I was edging without really realizing it. I have no one but myself to blame but I know have a better understating of just what I need to do. I must find productive things to do in order from slipping back into the habit.
You have to know yourself in order to have a better grasp of how to deal with yourself when these urges sneak up and strike. I was fuckin' 52 days PMO free!!! And I threw it away for a couple lousy busts!
But, I've acquired a better realization of what needs to be done to keep myself from relapsing again. I'm willing to start over because I know life is and can be so much more fulfilling without this damnable addiction.

Stay strong gentlemen (or ladies)! Keep fighting the good fight. Perseverance and Consistency are key to vanquishing the demons within!

2nd Round...Vambora!!!!

;D

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