Hello,
I’ve been reading and writing on this reddit for quite some time now and I have finally achieved my first NoFap goal which was to go 100 days without fapping or porn.
I am not a great writer like some of you are and this report is really long (and not very funny I admit), therefore I decided to divide it into three sections for clarity’s sake: why I started, the process, the results.
Why I started NoFap
The most direct reason for me was that I was experiencing ED with a girl that was probably as close as you can get to perfection in a non-porn setting. I was a virgin and had ED in the past but just assumed that it was due to my partner to whom I wasn’t very attracted. But this girl was exactly my style, sweet, first person I really opened up to. In fact, before this girl I was always scared of intimacy; always thought I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t adequate and was shutting myself off from any relationship. The ED was the main reason things didn’t work out with this “perfect” girl.
I had heard of negative effects of masturbation and porn before, in
bits and piece, here and there. More than half of the time these came
from a catholic point of view which I rejected, but at other times this
would come from a completely neutral source as well. I also started to
recognize that my use of porn and the frequency at which I masturbated
escalated too much. I’d do it 5-6 times per days, VERY slowly. It would
take up most of my free time and I don’t like to waste my time (yet
ironically I wasted a lot of it). I also didn’t have much energy or
focus when I was at home because porn was available at all times.
This, coupled with the ED gave me a strong reason to pursue NoFap. At
first I thought it was just the porn. So after the break-up I stopped
watching it, first for one week, then a programmed binge on the weekend;
then 2 weeks without porn, another binge on the weekend. Finally a
month with yet another binge. During this abstinence from porn I “fought
the urge” by masturbating without porn. Which basically meant that I
was still masturbating a lot. I DIDN’T EXPERIENCE ANY POSITIVE RESULTS
BY ABSTAINING FROM PORN ALONE but still continuing the masturbation.
After these first attempts I decided to stop masturbating as well. A
friend of mine had told me (quite randomly) that he didn’t masturbate
for 4 months once and this gave me the idea of trying as well. When I
started I would tell 3-4 of my closest friends “It’s been a week… it’s
been 3 weeks” etc. It was an exciting part of the process to watch days
go by. Which brings us to…
The process
I found that fighting the urge wasn’t very hard but this is probably
because of advantageous circumstances. I started NoFap during a very
busy college year. I had to stay at the library all day. I remember
during the first 3 weeks I would get flashes of porn scenes all the time
and would just be really horny. But I wasn’t gonna pull out my dipper
in public, so things went smoothly. This coupled was coupled with
thoughts like “I am not gonna let ED ruin a relationship again”… a
strong reason to stay on track. Also, the fact that I had already
previously stopped watching porn (while still masturbating) might have
helped.
Edging : I have edged a bit some days. Never for long
periods of time (seconds at most) but at one point I almost reached
orgasm. This is not great since edging gives you a dopamine rush… it’s
still masturbating. But I didn’t reset the badge. As of now, I haven’t
had the desire to edge for 2-3 weeks already so things are going really
great right now.
Wet dreams : I got maybe 6-7 wet dreams total, with 4-5
nocturnal emissions. I was realy excited to get these since my friends
have all experienced this and the fact that I got a nocturnal emission
made me feel somewhat more normal. “Finally I am resetting” I thought. I
did get a sense of guilt after these emissions. Often times the
accompanying dreams were really dirty porn scenes and I was dreaming
that I was watching porn in the process. The sense of guilt came from
the fact that I thought I was watching porn when I had promised myself
not to. This feeling of guilt goes away really fast but it still
bothered me a little. Reading up on Reddit helped a lot.
The results
Oh yeah, this is the exciting part. In a nutshell NoFap gives you a
sense of inner peace which in turn makes you more confident. I felt that
I became much more balanced and the effect is slowly compounding. There
is a “peak/valley” dynamic: the first peak were the superpowers I got
after 2-3 weeks. This is a crazy sense of well being, I felt like I was
on drugs. People were asking me if I took drugs. After 1 week of
superpowers I reverted to a more stable state but I still remained much
more “centered” than when I PMOing.
The beneficial aspects of NoFap haven’t yet ceased for me. It keeps
getting and better. I experience sorts of “level ups” every 20-40 days
or so. The day before yesterday I woke up and felt like I had positively
changed. It’s a very tangible feeling and it keeps building up and is
accompanied by an increase in confidence.
A small exercice to reinforce your confidence and self-esteem:
whenever you want to do something but don’t do it because you’re lazy
or slightly scared or the activity is unpleasant, GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND
DO IT ANYWAY.
For example, if I want to have a coke and there is none in the house,
I’ll go out and buy it, even though it will take me 10 minutes or so
and that I am in the process of doing something otherwise interesting
and don’t want to get off my chair. If I want something, I force myself
to go and get it.
This tip came from a “pickup” book by a guy named 60 years of
challenge. I am not even an aspiring PUA but I have read lots of
material on the subject without ever applying it. Most of it seemed
contrived and unrealistic. The only 2 books that really clicked and made
me understand things are the one by 60 years of challenge and Mark
Manson’s book, both quite similar but exploring different facets of the
same big idea – honesty. I would suggest you get the one by 60 years of
challenge, even if like me you don’t plan on doing any “real PUA stuff”,
it’s a good book on how to be a man.
Apply this tip while doing NoFap and your levels of confidence should increase noticeably.
I am much more outspoken now: I speak up when I don’t like
something. In the past my emotions weren’t completely numbed down but I
had become a master of repressing and hiding them and would be
completely unreactive to 95% of the stuff that upset me. Now I say
stuff. I do it on purpose because I think it’s part of the path to
becoming a normal human being again. But it also feels good to let
people know that you don’t like what they’re doing and not be this
accepting “nice guy” all the time.
Random awesome improvements:
- I stopped biting my nails! It’s crazy. I’ve been biting my nails
since I was 5. They look really ugly. I’ve tried to stop 3-4 times but
never succeeded, however since day 88 or something like that I just
stopped doing it, WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. It’s weird, I don’t know why it’s
happening and hopefully it will last. This one detail made me realize
that improvements will keep coming after the 90 day period. - I had unconcious doubts about my ability to defend myself. This
manifested in my dreams: I would hit someone and the hit would be so
weak that the person would either laugh or I would just feel really
embarassed that my strike was just so wimpy. I know it sounds strange.
Especially that I have been going to the gym for 6 years now, I don’t
look super buff, but bigger than most guys I know and if I hit someone, I
know it’s gonna hurt. Yet this dream kept coming back a lot. Since day
50 or so THIS DREAM HAS DISSAPEARED. In fact I think that at some point I
dreamed that I completely destroyed a guy. I am not sure though, I
didn’t write it down at the time. Keep in mind I’ve never been in a
serious fight before and I am NOT a violent person, so no need to call
the cops. It’s the increase in confidence talking. BOUYA. - I have started looking up when I walk.
- I don’t have trouble maintaining eye contact when I want to.
However I usually forget to do so and just look around like I used to,
its a deeply ingrained habit. I have to just put my mind to do it more
frequently. - I am much more focused and I think I am learning things faster.
The focus is 100% real. I think my ability to memorize things has become
better but this might be placebo. - I am much more relaxed overall.
Future Goals
My next goal is to reach 250 days, then a year, then 2 years and then
hopefully I will forget about fapping! The beneficial effects of NoFap
seem to be stacking as time goes by so there’s no reason to stop! The
urge has become very easy to fight now.
Big thank you to the NoFap community, ESPECIALLY to the people who’ve
reset their counters and posted about it. I know this sounds slightly
strange/mean, but those posts reinforce my motivation. I think to myself
“I don’t want my huge counter [male bravado…] to switch back to day 1
and be one of those guys”. Hopefully it doesn’t offend any of you. It’s
a hard battle, I hope all of you succeed and achieve the goals you have
set for yourselves.
The struggle is well worth it, don’t let your brain trick you into thinking otherwise.